Undercovers 1.06 “Xerxes” Recap

Italy is this week’s spot for some sexpionage via Undercovers as the Blooms deal with an elusive arms dealer and their even more elusive pasts.

The Australian Outback

An Australian tour bus drives along a deserted road with passengers in every seat. In the back of the bus sits a man, who looks shady as hell and ready to do something diabolical. The man suddenly puts on a gas mask and I ask myself how in the hell no one notices this, but let’s move on. The guy sets off a chemical bomb that releases a gas that kills everyone. The man exits the bus and makes a phone call to someone to say that the formula worked and where do they want it delivered. Sad, sad world we live in…

Los Angeles, California

Sam gives a dating pep talk to Lizzy about seizing the day and bagging a guy who likes her. Steven drags Sam out of that little meeting and into the one with Carlton Shaw, who gives them their weekly assignment. Target: Xerxes, an elusive international criminal who never leaves a print on their crimes by having other people do them for him. The Blooms must retrieve the formula to the bioweapon used on the bus which will be hidden in a painting that is to be auctioned off in Tuscany, Italy. The person buying the painting is likely going to be Xerxes.

Another signature Bloom adventure? Not quite. There are a few alterations to the standard Blooms assignment this go round, the main one being Sam having to use an old cover. Oh, and there’s the whole thing about her having to do this cover married to someone else. This does not sit well with Steven, especially when the person acting as Sam’s husband is Calvin Gary, an MI:5 and fellow agent who Steven doesn’t care for. Sam is amazed that Steven knows Calvin, but can’t believe how much he hates the guy. Another secret dropping agent like Leo Nash? Hopefully.

Tuscany, Italy

Hoyt and Steven’s covers are to be waiters and valet attendants at the auctioning. Sam and Calvin Gary show up and Steven makes it clear that he doesn’t like the situation of Sam and Calvin together. The Blooms then have to tell Gary their stance on keeping their past assignments a secret to uphold CIA confidentiality. This intrigues Gary, who seems like he will get a kick out of making them squirm.

Meanwhile, the guy from Australia delivers the painting and lets Xerxes know of the drop off. He then leaves.

Later, Steven stops by Sam and Gary’s room to lay down the law on keeping their past assignment secret from his wife, but Sam shows up and ruins a possible revealing. Gary mentions that he has the entire room secured from wiretappings and bugs so no on else can listen in on their location. He then reveals that there is another person on their team from MI:5. Hoyt happens to run into the beautiful agent named Tessa, who takes the breath out of Hoyt. He’s smitten enough to not care what Steven is up at the moment. The four agents talk about how their going to get the location of the painting and it involves a lot of spy gadgets and a lot of strategic placing. Hoyt and Tessa really hit it off, which isn’t lost on the other agents. Awww…

Hoyt and Tessa will serve as the trio’s eyes and ears, while Sam and Gary work the crowd placement and Steven operates a device that manipulates the security cameras to the office with all the painting details. Sam notices Gary talking to a tall Dutch guy, but thinks nothing of it when he reports the guy as being boring and harmless. The two then cause a diversion and make their way into the building. After Sam and Gary reach the office, everything goes to plan… until Gary lets slip to Sam that Steven was kicked out of a training program. Say what?!

Steven, getting agitated, demands for Hoyt to patch him into Sam and Gary’s channel and when Hoyt does, Steven catches part of the conversation, making everything awkward for everyone. Hoyt tries to sever the connection, but accidently connects the main security channel, which alerts the establishment’s security team. Sam and Gary luckily escape exposure, but the damage has been done with Sam and Steven, who argue about the bomb Gary dropped on Sam.

Meanwhile on an old road, the Australian guy reaches a car in the middle of the road. When he gets out and investigates, he is shot and killed by the Dutch hotel guest Gary spoke to earlier! Is this guy Xerxes?

Back at the hotel, Hoyt runs through the files and finds the painting their looking for. He runs to tell Tessa, who is on the phone relaying two seperate numbers belonging to an Ella and Nancy to someone on the other end. When Hoyt gloats about his find, Tessa almost lays a kiss on him but decides against it. Drats! Later as Hoyt copies the painting with Steven, he is glad to get some advice from his mentor on seizing the day… even if the advice really came from Steven overhearing Sam earlier talking to Lizzy. Speaking of which, Sam comes to apologize to Steven and do their weekly ritual of having sex on the job. Of course Hoyt wasn’t there to witness this tradition.

After the painting prints the next morning (it took six hours), Hoyt and Steven decide to make the switch on their own. Too bad the Dutch guy and his goon catches them. The Dutch guy orders for both to be killed off premises. Uh oh…

Later in the day, Sam is worried since Steven and Hoyt haven’t checked in. Gary thinks its a fuss over nothing, but says he has to go retrieve his phone from the bedroom. Meanwhile, Steven and Hoyt are tied up in the back of a jeep driven by the Dutch man’s goon, heading toward their deaths. Steven manages to untie them and they both bumrush the goon and throw him out the truck. Steven calls Sam to warn her that the painting, which is currently up for bid at the moment, hasn’t been switched. After Steven describes the guy who attacked them, Sam remembers the Dutch guy and pinpoints him immediately. She also notices the man is receiving instructions via an earpiece, which means he’s not Xerxes, but another goon, who wins the painting.

Steven and Hoyt meet up with Sam back at the villa so they can trace the call the guy made during the auction. The source of the call is coming from a secured location in the villa, which Sam deducts is her and Gary’s suite! After sending Hoyt and Steven off to trail the Dutch guy, Sam makes her way back to the suite where she finds Gary shot and bleeding profusely, but he’s able to give Sam a message: Tessa is Xerxes. What?!

Tessa/Xerxes leaves the villa and Dutch guy behind. When he calls to ask what’s the hold up, Tessa explains that she switched the painting the night before and what he’s holding is basically a bomb. The Dutch guy doesn’t have time to react as he goes up in a million pieces while Steven and Hoyt watch from afar. When they check in with Sam, she informs them of the double cross, which breaks Hoyt’s heart into a million pieces. Poor kid…

Florence, Italy

Shaw meets up with the Blooms and Hoyt to let them know the Brits are taking over the case and for the Americans to forget about it. No deal, says the Blooms. They want to take her down and figure the first place to start is find out if Tessa had any buyers for the formula. Enter Hoyt and his super memory of the numbers he heard Tessa was calling out on the phone. When he recites the numbers, Steven and Sam recognize the numbers and code names “Ella” and “Nancy” as being coordinates. Wow. The Blooms track Tessa to Hong Kong and rush to meet her there.

Hong Kong, China

Steven finds the buyer who’s looking over the painting and demands to know where Tessa’s located. After the guy gives up the details, Steven takes the painting with him.

On their way to stop Tessa, Hoyt asks to take the lead in this case. As the trio circles in on Tessa, it is Hoyt who stops and apprehends her. It was only fitting.

Los Angeles, California

While burning papers on their latest assignment, Steven reveals to Sam the full story of what Clive Gary was talking about on their assignment. Turns out that in 2003 Steven and Clive were picked to be in some elite classified program where he saw his instructor meeting a girl, who caught Steven’s eye to the point where he hacked into the CIA program database to find out her name. Clive found out and told their instructor, which got Steven booted from the program. The girl in question? None other than Sam. Um… I want to call bull crap, but the story seems so far-fetched to the point that it’s plausible in this world.

But I doubt that’s the main secret he’s trying to hide from Sam.

See you guys next week for an episode that I am dying to see… Bloom vs. Bloom. Popcorn, please?