The apocalypse can be a lonely place, but that doesn’t meant there’s no time for romance. It blooms from time to time on The Walking Dead, but for the most part, everyone remains pretty single on the show. Sometimes because it’s a bad idea to start a relationship in that climate, sometimes because the significant other is ripped apart by the undead. Life is hard that way. But right now on The Walking Dead, which returns this weekend, there are I’d say five main eligible bachelors that the surviving ladies should have their eye on. Below, I talk a bit about their likes and dislikes, and their long-term relationship potential. I may do a follow-up ladies list, if this one is fun. And sorry, no Glenn, given that he and Maggie are now officially hitched.
Rick Grimes
Likes: his son CORAL, brooding, sweating, changing outfits every two years, killing people who have it coming
Dislikes: being widowed, prisons, guys with eyepatches, leadership
Marriage potential: 5/10 – His last relationship was complicated, stressful and ended horrifically, so you may want to avoid that fate
Daryl Dixon
Likes: Crossbows, outrageously loud motorcycles, symbolic jackets, whiskey, having an ambiguous sexuality that keeps everyone guessing
Dislikes: Family members, shacks in the woods, people who kidnap his daughter-figure/crush/whatever
Marriage potential: 9/10 – Have you seen this guy with children? He’s a dream.
Carl Grimes
Likes: Being grown-up, doing grow-up things, chocolate, oversize hats, mother figures
Dislikes: Father figures, actual fathers, other teenage male survivors who make eyes at Beth
Marriage potential: 7/10 – When he turns 18, obviously. Though that would require him to survive that long.
Tyreese
Likes: Hammers, bear hugs, having crazy eyes, wool hats no matter what temperature it is in the Georgia summer
Dislikes: guns, last names, dating girls who end up burning to death when he’s not looking, one random survivor every few days, psychotic tween girls
Marriage potential: 10/10 – For cuddling ability alone.
Bob Stookey
Likes: Gin, whiskey, rum, vodka, beer, blacking out, surviving through the end of a season inexplicably, attraction by forced proximity
Dislikes: Terminus, given that it will likely be the last place he visits (no spoilers, just a hunch)
Marriage potential: 4/10 – Nobody likes a post-apocalyptic alcoholic, even if he’s nice when he sobers up. Also, he’s got that “everyone around him dies” curse.
Which would you pick? Was I wrong to leave out the guys from the new crew?
[Photos via AMC]
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