24 “Day 7: 8:00pm-9:00pm” Recap

I’ll go ahead and admit that I’m still in shock due to the aftermath of this episode. I feel like I’ve lost a brother. I’ve been through two boxes of tissues, a half gallon of Dryer’s Thin Mint Ice Cream, and a bottle of eyedrops. Someone needs to stop me from going for the 80’s power ballads. I hope you’re happy about what you’ve done to me, 24.

Okay, pull yourself together, Julia. We’ve got a show to recap.

Last week on 24: in a two hour extravaboganza of gunfire, explosion, tears, and tasers, Jack’s use of “coercive techniques” on Burnett wasn’t enough to stop an amphibious assault on the White House. Juma procured the First Daughter and was able to force Madame President and Jack Bauer out from their lockdown. We were also graced by the presence of the venerable Jon Voight, who is clearly up to No Good, but I’m not entirely clear on how he fits into this picture just yet.

We join the Vice President as he watches CNN report on the hostage situation. The VP’s aide reports that Moss’ recon attempts have been useless because Juma has deployed some sort of jamming device. The VP continues to insist that he won’t authorize any action until he knows the status of Madame President.

In the White House, Olivia and Madame President are having a heartfelt moment together in the corner. Olivia apologizes for “hurting” her mother. “You were right to fire me off the campaign. I felt so betrayed, I turned my back on you,” Olivia confesses, and we’ll get the details on this little incident later in the episode. Suffice it to say, Madame President soothes her troubled daughter and they make up. Madame President also warns her to “keep [her] eyes open and be ready.” I smell a plan!

Jack whispers to Bill that in the lockdown room there were five canisters of CH4 (methane — why was there methane in the lockdown room? For power?). Before Jack and Madame President surrendered themselves, Jack opened the canisters’ valves. One spark and BOOM. Jack will set the explosion off by running for the lockdown room and drawing the fire of Juma’s men while Bill secures the President. “It’s a suicide plan,” Bill mutters. Oh, god. Here come the tears again. Gimmie a minute…. okay, we’re good. Madame President knows about the plan as well, so she’ll be ready. “What are you planning?” Senator Mayer barks, “Are you going to do something? Damn it, if you’re planning something, I want to know what it is?” “Senator, shut up,” Jack hisses. Oh, hee. Best part of the episode, right there.

Juma’s got Madame President in an adjacent hallway and he’s giving her a script confessing her country’s crimes against Sangala. Madame President agrees to read the statement in front of a camera, but only if Juma releases the hostages. Juma agrees, as a sign of good faith, to release one of the hostages. Juma picks a young man out of the crowd, makes like he’s going to let him go, and then shoots him in the head with a silenced pistol. Pffft. The crowd of hostages starts screaming and Juma asks Madame President if she wants him to release any more hostages. “You son of a ,” she spits. The video camera’s ready to go and Madam President begins admitting to various war crimes, “America’s desire to exert its power and influence,” among other things. But that’s been the foundation of our foreign policy for the last seventy five years! [/editorial comment]

The VP is watching Madame President’s video as it streams onto the internet and orders that its distribution be stopped. His aid informs him that’s not possible. Moss calls to ask the VP one more time if they can go in for the rescue. Moss thinks Juma’s just there to stage a public humiliation and execution of the President. Juma has refused to offer any demands. The VP says his advisers think the wisest course of action is to initiate communication with Juma, but Moss says they already tried. Walker insists they have a two-pronged, tactical plan in place that will probably catch Juma off guard, but they have to act quickly. But the VP is adamant about not authorizing any action that could result in the President’s death. I’m still not sure if he’s involved in the conspiracy or not.

Bill whispers to Jack that Juma’s not the only one coordinating the attack. Juma was getting real-time intel from someone (Jon Voight) on the satellite phone. Even if they take Juma down, the President may still be in danger. “You’re the only one I know who can do this, Jack,” Bill says and oh, god. I can’t even watch this again. Jack’s face goes, “Oh, crap! No!” as Bill says, “Find out who Juma’s working with.” The two share A Look and Bill bolts for the lockdown room as Jack grabs after him. GODDAMN IT, BILL! Don’t be a hero! It’s overrated! Bill tackles one of Juma’s men, who just happens to be standing in the doorway. Bill grabs his gun, looks back towards the room full of hostages one last time, aims the gun to the sky, and pulls the trigger.

NOOOOOO! A tremendous fireball explodes and Juma’s men are thrown back against the walls as the hostages scream. And so does your fearless recapper, as she tries to stop herself from launching the remote at her pretty plasma HDTV. The Secret Service informs Moss that a device has been detonated in the West Wing. A “device”? Is that what you’re calling my poor, dearly departed Bill? Say it ain’t so! Moss passes the information onto the VP. Moss says the tactical team is going in under his authority, despite protestations to the contrary by the VP. The teams head in, taking out Juma’s men in the dark. Jack takes cover under a body and grabs an assault rifle to protect himself as one of Juma’s men fires at him. “PIERCE! GET TO THE PRESIDENT!” he yells and Aaron’s on it, bullet-ridden shoulder and all. What a trooper. Jack continues to take out Juma’s men as Aaron ushers Madame President and Olivia out of the room. It looks like Juma’s still alive, though. “Kill the hostages. The President is mine,” he gurgles to his remaining cohort.

The cohort sneaks up on Jack, and Mayer pops up from the field of cowering hostages, waving his hands and shouting “No no no!” Sit DOWN, dude! That’s a great way to get yourself killed. Jack whips around and shoots the cohort before Mayer can get blasted in the head. C’mon, Jack. That would have solved so many problems for you! Oh well. Jack backtracks from where the cohort came from to find Juma kneeling on the ground. Jack levels his pistol at him. Juma goes for his gun, and Jack empties the rest of his clip into Juma’s torso. Juma collapses like the cardboard villain he was. Bye, Juma! The tactical team has found the hostages and Aaron announces that he has the President.

Jack takes a look around the room and his eyes fall on the flaming doorway of the lockdown room. Bill’s lifeless body (Whyyy, cruel writers? WHYYY?) is lying on the ground, looking pretty good for someone who just got incinerated. Jack walks towards it, his face skewered with grief, as Moss and Walker escort Madame President and Olivia from the debris. Walker watches as Jack sinks down against the doorframe and runs his hands through his hair. Moss yells at Walker and she reluctantly tears herself away. All the better, I suppose, because Jack’s having a painful moment. He rubs his face and blinks back the tears as he looks at Bill’s face, still frozen in his final moments. Gah, I really didn’t need to see that. Jack locks his hands behind his head and pulls it towards his knees as the silent clock reads 8:11:52 for the Silver Fox. We’ll miss you, Bill. Sniffle.

As she finishes getting looked over by an EMT in her residence, Madame President is informed by the head of the tactical team that all of the hostages have been accounted for. The tactical team wants to move Madame President to Andrews Air Force Base, but Madame President insists she has to stay in the White House in order to reassure the American people that everything will be okay. Madame President would like to speak with the VP as soon as possible and needs a status update on her husband as well. The tactical team gives Madame President some breathing room as Olivia sits down with her mother. Aaron’s gonna be okay (horray!). Before Madame President’s dragged away to talk to the VP, she and Olivia share (another) tender moment of reconciliation.

Walker returns to find Jack still sitting against the doorway, looking at Bill’s corpse. Walker tells Jack that Madame President is safe and secure. “I’m so sorry, Jack. I know he was your friend,” Walker ventures. “It was supposed to be me,” Jack says, “I was supposed to set off the explosion. So that he could secure the President.” Walker looks at Jack for a minute before responding, “He died protecting his country.” “Yeah,” Jack agrees, finally standing up. “This isn’t over yet.” Of course not, Jack! It’s only 8pm! We’ve got twelve more hours of this fun! Jack relays Bill’s intel about Juma’s conspirator to Moss. Right now, the only lead they’ve got is Burnett. Jack wants another crack at him. He doesn’t even need to touch him, Burnett just needs to think he’s there to finish the job. Moss promises to look into this, but he’s got standing orders from the President to take Jack into custody. He orders Jack handcuffed and neither Jack, myself, nor Walker is happy about this development. “When are you gonna stop defending this guy?” Moss asks Walker. “I’m not defending him, I’m defending a good idea!” Walker responds. Moss orders her to finish her job and get the building locked down. Walker has other plans, though. She approaches the head of the tactical team and asks to speak with the President. He informs her that Madame President was taken to a secure location, so she needs to talk to the Chief of Staff, who’s just returned from the Pentagon.

Walker catches the Chief of Staff as he’s heading down the hallway, and he agrees to speak with her. She relays the information from Jack and Bill. Speaking of which, Jon Voight is receiving news that the President is still alive and Juma’s dead. “Well, you gotta admire. She doesn’t give up easily,” Jon Voight says. He suggests that his aide sit down and have a drink — he looks tense. Jon Voight tells him to get “Chapman” on the phone so that they can “nail down some targets.” Eeep! That doesn’t bode well.

Outside the White House, Moss orders a handcuffed Jack Bauer to be escorted by chopper back to the FBI Command Center. Jack’s justifiably pissed. The Chief of Staff calls Moss to tell him that he talked with Walker, and Bauer isn’t going back to FBI. Instead, Jack’s going to finish his interrogation of Burnett. Now it’s Moss’ turn to be pissed. The Chief of Staff assures that not only will the interrogation be controlled, but Moss will be acting under the his authority, not the President’s. Way to take one for the team, Ethan! Moss will be escorting Bauer with great reluctance.

To show how unshaken and stalwart Madame President is after the terrorist attack, the writers show us a little segment of her comforting one of her staff. Aww. Or not. The Chief of Staff walks in and gives her a big hug. Awww (for real, this time). Madame President informs Ethan that she’s going to bring Olivia on as a special adviser. The Chief of Staff reveals that during the campaign, Olivia was responsible for leaking damaging personal information about Madame President’s opponent to the press, almost costing Madame President the election. Madame President fired Olivia from the campaign for the leak, and that caused the split between the two. Madame President insists her daughter has changed, and would like the Chief of Staff to offer the position to Olivia. Ethan goes, “WHAA? MEEE??” Madame President thinks it’s a good way for the two of them to make peace. The Chief of Staff agrees and heads out, brushing Walker’s request to speak with Madame President under the rug.

Federal Agents load Jack into the chopper while Moss looks on. Walker approaches Moss, who is intent on giving her the Epic Cold Shoulder. “Look, I didn’t want to go behind your back, but you didn’t leave me any choice,” Walker explains. “I didn’t leave you a– how about you choose to follow orders?” Moss replies in disbelief. Walker apologizes, but Moss doesn’t think she’s sorry. God, what a douchebag. “I have seen Jack do some terrible things today — things that I still can’t justify, but he has been right every time. And you know what? I can’t help but think that maybe if we had just stayed out of his way, none of this would have happened,” Walker insists. Damn straight, woman! But we also would have had one hell of a boring season. Moss is gonna take Jack to see Burnett and Moss is going back to the FBI Field Office to clean out her desk. Indefinite suspension!! Douchebag squared. Jack watches from the chopper as Moss and Walker head off in different directions (literally and metaphorically). Moss piles into the chopper with Jack. Awwwwkward. Moss tells Jack to watch himself because one false step and he’s outta there. Jack suggests that Moss leave Walker out of this little power struggle. “I’ve known this woman for nine years and I’ve never seen her do the kinds of things she’s done in the last nine hours,” Moss muses.

Meanwhile, one of Jon Voight’s lackeys tells him they’ve narrowed their targets down to twelve locations on the eastern seaboard (10-15,000 in each location, with a kill ratio of 80% — whoo. Sounds like a nasty sucker, whatever it is.), all surrounding Washington D.C. Another aide walks in to inform Jon Voight that Bauer’s on his way to question Burnett. The aide already sent “Quinn” to deal with Bauer and Burnett. “Ooooh, Quinn’s good,” Jon Voight mutters, “Bauer’s good too.” Do dee do dee dooo, wah WAH wah [/spaghetti western shootout musical cue]

Security escorts Jack and Moss into the wing of the hospital where Burnett’s being housed — they’ve equipped the hospital room with two cameras, plus an audio feed. Burnett was given a heavy sedative (he was in “pretty bad shape” when he arrived), and the doctor has to revive him before Jack can go in. Except said doctor doesn’t want to see his patient “brutalized” again, so he’s none too happy with Jack heading in there. Jack goes off on his High Rhetoric Horse until Moss smooth-talks the doc into letting them do their thing.

Meanwhile, “Quinn” (who apparently showed up in 24: Redemption, according to his IMDB page [for the life of me, I can’t remember him]) strolls down the halls of the hospital, dressed as a nurse. Except the disguise is kinda ruined by the big black toolbelt he’s got slung around his shoulder, so I have to assume that, at this hospital, nurses lugging around big black toolbelts are somewhat commonplace. Whatever, 24. Quinn lets himself into the room of a heart surgery patient. Quinn makes small talk with the guy before smothering him with a pillow. Quinn strolls out of the room while the nurses run off in search of a crash cart. He uses the momentary distraction to plug his cell phone/iPod thingy into the nurses’ computer and get blueprints and room assignments. Having located Burnett’s room, Quinn heads off to the storage room, through which he accesses the ventilation system. With cat-like dexterity, he crawls into the air shaft and makes his way towards Burnett.

Back at the White House, Olivia stops by the triage room to check on Aaron, who’s going to be okay (YAY!). She thanks him for saving her life, but Aaron insists there’s no need to thank him. Olivia asks him why he retired, and when he clams up, she suggests it had to do with Martha Logan. “Martha and I were… close,” Aaron says quietly. “It must have been hard for you… what happened to her,” Olivia suggests. Jeeze, Olivia! Shut the Hell up. He doesn’t want to talk about it. I don’t either, because I miss Jean Smart somethin’ terrible. Anyway, Olivia tells him not to be a stranger, and Aaron says she can call him by his first name. Awww. I’d think this was a tender moment, if I wasn’t already aware of the Extreme mean Olivia’s about to show.

The Chief of Staff pulls Olivia aside to offer her the advising position that Madame President created. Olivia’s surprised that Ethan would sign off on the offer, but the Chief of Staff reveals that if Madame President is ready to put the past behind her, so is he. Olivia admits that she overstepped her bounds during the campaign, and Ethan’s ready to get the hell out of there, until Olivia tugs on his sleeve. “It’s not the past that concerns me, Ethan. It’s what’s happening right now, and what’s been happening ever since my mother took office… Do you think any of this would have happened if she had a chief advisor who knew what the Hell was going on in her administration? Her government was corrupted on every level, and it all happened right under your nose. Even you have to admit, it’s an unconscionable failure on your part. Frankly, I’m surprised you haven’t tendered your resignation,” she says. Honey, that’s why they call it a conspiracy. Jeebus. I mean, Ethan’s probably not blameless in this situation, but to lay it on him like that? Wow. Olivia’s making Sherrie Palmer look like Martha Stewart. “You have no right to speak to me that way. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t have the facts,” Ethan insists. “I intend to get the facts,” Olivia fires back, “I’m going to find out exactly who failed my mother, and I am going to make sure that that person never is in a position to do it again.” She excuses herself, leaving Ethan to wonder if he can withdraw the advisory offer.

Back from break, we join Moss giving Jack a stern warning as he heads into Burnett’s room. “We’re watching,” he says, “You lay one finger on him, it’s over.” Jack looks down to find Moss’ hand on his chest, and looks back up at him the way a hungry pitbull contemplates a slow squirrel. “Right,” Jack says, and walks away. Crafty Quinn is still making his way through the ventilation system. Jack shuts the door of the hospital room behind him as Burnett starts waking up. He takes inventory of the surveillance equipment locations before leaning over Burnett and huskily whispering, “Wake up.” Burnett doesn’t respond. “Wake up,” Jack says more loudly. Burnett’s eyes startle awake. “Remember me?” Jack asks. “Oh my god,” Burnett breathes and starts back, but he’s handcuffed to his bed. “What the hell are you doing here?” he panics. “I’ve just come from the White House,” Jack responds, “Juma’s attack failed. He’s dead. And so are his men. A lot of innocent people died today. Good people, including a friend of mine, Bill Buchanan, you might have met him.” Damn it, I’m out of Kleenex!

Burnett looks like he’s about to pee his pants. “You stay the hell away from me! I wanna talk to a lawyer right now! Do you hear me?? I want to talk to a lawyer! Somebody get me the hell out of here!” Burnett demands. “You’re not going anywhere. It’s just you and me, pal,” Jack says, “Did you really think you were going to get away with it?” Jack starts pacing the room until he’s out of sight of the security cameras, lazily undoing his tie as Burnett continues to plead. “You’re wasting your breath. I’m comin’ for you,” Jack continues. “Please don’t hurt me. I’ll tell you anything you want,” Burnett finally caves, “Do you hear that? I-I’m ready to talk! I’ll tell you anything you want to know! Just get him outta here! I-I’m ready to talk!” Moss is still watching the monitors. “They’re done talkin’ to you,” Jack says, “That’s why they sent me.” He wraps his tie threateningly around his hand as Quinn messes around with some cords in the air shaft overhead. Burnett continues to blabber that, “This isn’t legal!” and static starts filtering on Moss’ end of the surveillance. Moss’ tech guy announces that they’ve lost sound.

“There are no laws in here, Mr. Burnett,” Jack says and this is indeed Vintage Bauer. “You aided and abetted terrorists who then tried to kill the President of the United States. Now you have to answer for that. The rules don’t apply to you anymore.” It looks like Quinn has routed the video surveillance to his little cell phone/iPod thingy, so he’s getting all of this, but the feds aren’t. Burnett continues his babbling until Jack yells “SHUT UP.” Moss needs to get in there now, but he’s clearly gun-shy after they cut Jack off too early last time. Oh, the irony. Quinn rolls a little aerosol dispenser into the room from up above and it starts spraying. Jack, in a dumbass move, goes over to investigate the item, instead of immediately tossing the bed pan on top of it. He catches a whiff of the gas and collapses against the wall, twitching and drooling (that’s dedication on Kiefer’s part). A gas-masked Quinn drops down, grabs an oxygen container and disables the keypad to the door. As far as Moss and Co. are concerned, Jack is still talking to Burnett at his bedside. Quinn grabs a shard of glass from a bedside cabinet the he destroyed, grips it in Jack’s limp hand to get the fingerprints on it, and takes it over to Burnett’s bedside. He grabs Burnett’s hair (just as Jack did an hour earlier) and gives him a Columbian necktie. Ewww.

Moss, meanwhile, is watching Jack take off his tie on the video feed. Again. Something is amiss. Burnett’s flatlining as Quinn mops up his mess. The video feed flickers again and Moss gets a clear view of Bloody Burnett. He flips, hauling ass towards the room as a drool-stained Jack gasps back from his paralysis. Quinn’s back in the air ducts and Moss is yelling at Jack to open the door while Jack takes in the scene before him. This looks bad. Jack goes up through the fake ceiling, for that is the only exit. Moss and his team are finally able to break the door down and Moss orders a lockdown of the hospital, putting an APB out on Jack in the process. You see where this is going? Good. Because I swear this particular plot device gets used about five times per season.

Jack takes out a security guard, grabs a security tape/CD and the guy’s iPhone before making a break for it. Quinn calls Jon Voight to inform him that Burnett’s been eliminated and it’s been pinned on Bauer. “Good. Now we’re having some fun,” Jon Voight muses. Hell yes, we are!

Jack calls Moss on the security guard’s iPhone to tell him that he’s been set up. He saw Quinn murder Burnett, but he can’t turn himself in, even though he’s innocent. “Look, there is a reason why they wanted me framed and didn’t kill me. They’re trying to keep you distracted by dealing with me so they can finish what they started. Don’t let them get away with this — this threat is not over.” Jack hangs up as sirens sound. The police are moving in. “Jack? Jack? DAMN IT!” Moss yells when he realizes Jack’s no longer on the line. Jack slips away into a dark alley as …dun-dee-dun-dee-DUN.

Well, that was a rather quick resolution to the hostage situation. I was honestly expecting them to drag it out for another episode or two, but I’m glad they ended it so quickly. If only my dearly departed Bill hadn’t been necessary to stop it. I mean, as soon as he appeared this season, I figured he wouln’t be around for long, but… sniffle. I suppose he’s at the Big CTU in the Sky now.

Next week: Jack goes rogue and steals a classic car! Walker gets caught in the middle! Morris returns! Jon Voight and Quinn launch an attack of some sort! Jack confronts Senator Mayer! Good stuff, folks. See you then!

(Oh, and a quick side-note: sometime on Wednesday, I think, an unedited, unfinished version of this recap went up for, erm, longer than it should have. My apologies to anyone who happened to stumble across that — I think at one point during the wee hours of the morning, I hit “publish” instead of “save.” It won’t happen again, I swear!)