Thanksgiving is a time for families to come together, share a meal, and enjoy each other’s company. But if you’re hosting, you know there’s a lot more to it than setting the table and welcoming guests. You have to put plenty of time and effort into preparing several dishes and making sure there’s enough food for everyone.
This mom had been preparing her family’s holiday meals for 27 years, so she didn’t mind taking charge of the kitchen. This year, however, her daughter wanted to host Thanksgiving at her new home across town, and the mom was expected to help make it happen.
This simple change of venue turned into a much bigger disagreement. Pandas, wait until you hear what the mother was asked to do and how her husband reacted when she suggested a different arrangement!
Preparing Thanksgiving dinner takes a lot of work, but many people do it out of love for their family
shazimali462 / magnific (not the actual photo)
This mom prepared Thanksgiving dinner for her family for 27 years, but pushed back when asked to cook and deliver the entire feast across town
prostooleh / magnific (not the actual photo)
bearfotos / magnific (not the actual photo)
Unequal household responsibilities can put a strain on relationships and leave one partner feeling overlooked
Cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and organizing family celebrations are all forms of unpaid household labor. Because these tasks don’t come with a paycheck, people sometimes overlook how much time and effort they require. When one partner takes responsibility for most of the work, they may feel their contribution is being taken for granted.
This imbalance is more common than some people think. A Pew Research Center study found that 59% of women in relationships with men said they did more than their partners in household chores and responsibilities. Only 9% said their partners did more, while 32% felt the work was shared equally.
This unequal division of household responsibilities might also affect how satisfied people feel in their relationships. A 2022 study published in Psychological Science found that people who did more household work and felt the arrangement was unfair were less satisfied with their relationships. Interestingly, feeling appreciated by their partners helped protect against this negative effect.
This shows why consideration matters in a relationship. Even when one person is happy to take on certain responsibilities, their partner shouldn’t assume they will always be willing or able to do everything. Showing appreciation and offering to share the workload can help the person doing more feel valued, not taken for granted.
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Sharing the Thanksgiving workload helps everyone enjoy the holiday without feeling overwhelmed
Holiday celebrations can make the household chore inequality more noticeable. Preparing a Thanksgiving meal involves planning the menu, shopping for ingredients, cooking several dishes, and often cleaning up afterward. When one person takes charge of most of these tasks, they may end up spending much of the holiday working while everyone else relaxes and enjoys the celebration.
A 2025 YouGov survey of American adults found that 29% of women expected to do all or most of the Thanksgiving cooking, compared with 19% of men. The survey also found that 71% of those who expected to do all the cooking anticipated handling all the cleanup, too.
This helps put the mom’s frustration into perspective. After preparing her family’s holiday meals for 27 years, she was once again expected to take charge of the cooking, with the added demands of moving the celebration to another home. She was happy to help with the meal, but wanted other family members to take on part of the work so the responsibility wouldn’t fall so heavily on her.
Thanksgiving preparations can become a source of tension when one person’s time and effort are treated as an endless resource. Being the family member who usually cooks doesn’t mean they should be expected to do it all every year, regardless of the circumstances.
Sharing the work also gives everyone a better chance to enjoy the day instead of leaving one person to spend most of it making things happen. The mom had spent nearly three decades making these celebrations happen, and asking her family to share some of the responsibility wasn’t unreasonable.
What do you think, Pandas? Was the mom right to push back, or should she have agreed to her daughter’s Thanksgiving plans? Let us know in the comments!
Element5 Digital / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Commenters assured the mom she was right to stand her ground, while criticizing her husband’s behavior and calling her daughter spoiled
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