You can live with a lot of things when you have been married to someone for years. But there are moments when your spouse says or does one thing that hits differently, and you start wondering how much more you can take.
We found stories from men who reached that stage in their marriages, and what finally pushed them to leave is not always what you might expect. As you scroll through them, you might find yourself reassessing what actually counts as a dealbreaker in a marriage.
Keep reading to see what finally made these husbands decide they were done and if you’d have made the same choice.
#1
Oh, that’s simple. One night, in a drunken rage, my wife took my bass guitar off the wall and swung it at me (she was mad that I was asking her to be quiet and go to bed). I put up my arm to guard my head, and the guitar hit my arm. After she hit me, she let go of the bass, which hit the floor. The neck snapped, and a small piece of the neck hit her in the shin. No mark, no blood, but it made contact. She called the cops……..and told them that I a*******d her with the bass guitar. She was so drunk that she didn’t even lie, she told them she swung it at me first, and that she did it because she didn’t like that I was asking her to go to bed.
Now, you’d think this would be a moment that would look different the next morning, right? Nope. Around 3pm the next day, when she finally got out of bed, she came and found me in the house. I’m sitting there, in a brace and a sling, after having gone to the ER to be told my Ulna bone was cracked. She calmly sat down, and informed me that she was still in shock from my attack on her the previous night. She kept pointing to her shin, which bore no bruise or mark, telling me that she wouldn’t be a****d. At that moment, sitting on that couch, I realized that she’d k**l me if I didn’t leave.
Even now, 7 years later, she refers to that night as “the first night that I a****d her”. She conveniently leaves out the part where she broke my arm.
Image source: guy_n_cognito_tu, freestocks
#2
Ive been separated from my ex wife for 3 years now and if there is one thing that I have learned in this time, especially since I’ve been doing therapy is a lot of the issues in our marriage we’re my own fault. My breaking point was not feeling loved, or safe or accepted and feeling trapped and miserable. I blamed her for it. The truth is, I was incredibly disconnected emotionally, absurdly selfish, and asked so much of her I didn’t realize that I ultimately made her not love me anymore and completely pushed her away.
I encourage all men reading this. Don’t be Stone walls. Don’t be defensive. Talk to your partners. Be open and vulnerable and really let them in. Listen to them. Create a space for them to be open. Built something with them. Otherwise you’ll wind up 42 years old and completely alone like me.
Image source: ArtisanJagon, Timur Weber
#3
Was it when she told me that I was useless even though I was the one keeping us financially afloat while she pursued her failed real estate career but had to have a bmw to “look the part”? Nope.
Was it when she told me that she didn’t love me, on my birthday, just as we were leaving to go to a restaurant to meet up with family to celebrate? Nope.
Was it when she told me that she was in love with her boss, Jill? Nope.
Was it the multiple times over 18 years that she emotionally a****d and humiliated me? Nope.
It was finally when I had cancer, went to the appointments alone and finally had the epiphany that life is too short and I deserve to be happy. I guess I beat cancer twice.
Image source: aDirtyMartini, RDNE Stock project
In 2023, the National Center for Health Statistics reported that the U.S. recorded more than 600,000 divorces or annulments. And when researchers asked divorced people what went wrong, many pointed to a lack of commitment, too much conflict, infidelity, money troubles, and couples constantly growing apart.
These problems can build up over time, until one final incident becomes the straw that makes someone decide they have had enough and call it quits.
#4
It was when she had an adult sit-down conversation and told me she liked women. The ensuing divorce was cheap and amicable (no kids or shared assets).
I was just gladrelieved she grew up enough to come out to me because it explained *everything* about her behavior leading up to that night. It also made me realize that I was not the problem and there was nothing I could do to “fix it”.
After our last meeting at the courthouse, we severed all contact. I never looked her up, but still hope she found happiness. I sure as hell did!
Image source: Bishop-Logan, RDNE Stock project
#5
For me it was when I realized that all my energy was being spent on trying to figure out what was wrong and how to fix it. Then one day after years of talking, pleading, and councillors I looked at my son and realized that if I stayed with her, I couldn’t be the father I wanted to be. In that instant my mind was made up and I asked for a divorce.
Image source: nowaylikethehardway, Alex Green
#6
When we got married the plan was that I would be a SAHD and she would work because she was very type-a extrovert and loved her job. We did that for a year where I took care of the kid and she worked. When the second was born, she said she wanted to take some time off work and focus on being a parent. She would return to work when the kids were in school. No problem! I went back to work full time. Fast forward a few years and the kids are in school. I keep asking her when she plans on going back and she keeps brushing me off. Finances were tight and she had expensive tastes. After asking many times, she finally says “I’m retired now. I sacrificed my body to have kids so I don’t ever have to work again”.
That was the final straw. We already had a terrible relationship with no emotional or physical connection, I was doing all the cooking and cleaning and childcare while working full time, and she was mostly at restaurants or shopping with her friends.
Image source: PNW_Uncle_Iroh, Cup of Couple
A marriage does not have to be full of explosive fights for someone to decide they no longer want to stay. Research has shown that some couples spend years living what looks like an ordinary, even happy, life before realizing they have grown apart.
One person may feel less connected to their partner or stop feeling happy in the relationship, and that can be enough for them to decide it is time to leave.
#7
every Saturday I run a few miles around the neighborhood. on the way back home, I would stop by a cafe close to our house. I’d get her her favorite pastry and a matcha. most days she would eat the pastry literally in bed. we were having a lot of little arguments and openly discussing divorce. one of us had moved out then moved back. one day, she sends me a TikTok of woman who is served breakfast in bed. when I told her I literally do that, she thought about it, started laughing, then said, oh yea. it could have been a cute moment, but it kind of broke me. something in me just broke.
Image source: jeanlundegaardhsbf, Nelia Lupa
#8
She wouldn’t take me to the hospital.
I broke my leg skateboarding and immediately knew something was wrong. Hobbled over to my car and made it home. Literally crawled in the front door and she said “OMG what happened?”
“I think I just broke my leg, can you take me to the ER?”
“Well tonight’s actually not good for me. See I have plans with some old friends from work, and then my aunt Cathy is in town from Boston and I only see her like once a year…”
FTB…
Image source: Top-Negotiation1888, Budgeron Bach
#9
Her telling me the we had to find another house for the pets that I have had since their birth. Told her id rather find another house for her.
Image source: Ok_Rub7813, Helena Jankovičová Kováčová
Every couple will have things they disagree about, and many of these issues never completely disappear. In fact, Dr. John Gottman’s research found that about 69% of relationship issues are “perpetual problems.” This means they come from differences between partners that are unlikely to be fully solved.
What matters is how couples handle those differences. Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and shutting down can make these issues worse instead of helping couples work through them, which can contribute to a marriage’s breakdown.
#10
When she announced she was moving 800 miles away to be near a guy she b****d on a work trip and I asked why we only separating and not getting divorced, and she said “I just want to make sure we both know what we want.”
You know, because if it didn’t work out for her out there she could just move back and we could just forget that happened.
Image source: lunaticmagnet, Mikhail Nilov
#11
The day I realized that my relationship with her was just like my relationship with my parents.
Image source: Diesel07012012, RDNE Stock project
#12
I nursed wounds for months because of her viciousness until i realized it’s all projection. thats why she has no friends, is estranged from family and her own nuclear family is falling apart. i lost respect for her as a person when i had that realization. then it was over.
Image source: Glittering-Path-2824, Nathan Cowley
The way couples speak to each other during arguments can make or break a relationship. Clinical psychologist Dr. Ellie Wild explains that there is a big difference between complaining about a specific behavior and criticizing someone’s character.
Saying you were hurt because your partner forgot to call is very different from telling them they never care about anyone but themselves. Personal attacks can put people on the defensive and make it harder for couples to work through their problems together.
#13
Between my need for a fan at night, 20 years of built-up friction, and two kids who refused to sleep in their own room, we were already sleeping in separate bedrooms. Then came COVID, and she pushed us to buy a house because her dad promised to help pay. Interest rates skyrocketed, and even with her dad paying the bank directly, the remaining monthly payment was crushing us.
I brought up selling our car to survive financially (we don’t live in the US and we moved to be near her work and near the kids school), and her immediate reply was that she wanted a divorce. So we split: I kept my car, she got her house. Now she’s furious that she doesn’t have a car or money for one while paying off a house on her own. We currently do a 2-week on, 2-week off custody split, but she’s fighting for full custody claiming she misses the kids. F**k that I miss my kids just as much as she does. Now I have my money for my self, I take my kids on trips to other cities and everywhere else, but she refuses to sign their international travel authorization. My sister lives in Miami, and I’d love to take them to the Orlando theme parks. It’s been two years of this, and my court date to finally set custody in stone isn’t until April 2027.
I’ve always worked from home, so I’ve always been there for my kids. Now that we’re not together, I have the freedom to work from anywhere. She has an in-person job, so she’s completely stuck and honestly, I’m just glad I’m free.
Image source: xaeru, Vlada Karpovich
#14
We were already on the rocks, had been for years, I went through quite a bad depression accepting it in my head, took some time off work, and during that I cut my hair. Her response: “Oh… I guess I’ll get used to it.”
When I went back to work, colleagues were giving me compliments about my new haircut, told me I looked good.
Realised when random colleagues made me feel better than my own wife that was a sign to call it quits. Told her I was filing for divorce that day.
Image source: Nauticus87, cottonbro studio
#15
When I realised I didn’t want to put in effort for intimacy anymore. She deserved better.
Image source: LofderZotheid, Anna Shvets
Trust in a marriage can be much harder to rebuild once it’s broken. This study found that infidelity was among the most common reasons people gave for their divorce. An affair can leave the other partner questioning whether they can trust their spouse again. For some, it makes ending the marriage feel easier than trying to save it.
#16
She handed me her phone to show me a Facebook post and I saw a text notification from a guy she used to date.
I asked her, “Why is your ex boyfriend saying he wants to warm you up after a shower?”
We were already on the verge of divorce, and we’d been close before. She spun some b******t line about how he’s just like that, and I asked why she was even texting him if we were at least in theory married. She didn’t have an answer.
The next day she left her phone in the kitchen while she was in the shower. I went through her texts and found a bunch of truly awful things she’d been saying about me, my family, and more.
I confronted her on it and that was it.
Image source: ChevalierMal_Fet, Alef Morais
#17
I was in a very toxic relationship. My ex was controlling, manipulative, vindictive and created nothing but chaos. In every way possible. But I stayed, thinking if I endured, I’d do better for my kids. The same kids that she threatened to take away if I ever left (I believed her, and she tried when I did eventually leave, but I digress)
The final straw was when I was getting ready to leave for work one morning. She’d started an argument for no good reason. I told her I didn’t have time for her s**t that morning. So she punched me, in the face. I asked what the f**k was wrong with her, she punched me again.
My temper was a hair away from punching her back. I wanted to. I could see it happening, and I WANTED IT to happen. I didn’t but I do wonder what would have happened if she’d punched me for a third time, you think you know what kind of person you are until you’re there, living it (I have never once prior even thought about taking a swing at a partner, I’m a “communicate like an adult” kinda guy).
That was it.
10 years of constant a***e and She’d finally pushed me to my limit.
There was no more “enduring”
I was done, and out.
Image source: RabidusUnus, Alex Green
#18
She spent $300 on records after agreeing to a record budget after spending $600/month on records for years. It was all retail therapy for her mental health issues she refused to deal with. I realized she was never going to deal with her mental health problems. It has been going on for a long time, and I tried to get her help, but you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to change.
Image source: ElectricRing, Vitaly Gariev
Men and women may not always experience the decline of a marriage in the same way. This research found that wives tended to notice marital problems increasing over time, while husbands were, on average, less aware of these issues.
In some cases, what a husband sees as the reason he wants to leave may connect to a pattern his wife has noticed for much longer.
#19
Thinking of just waiting till the kids are 18 and then I’m done here.
4 years left, it’s been pretty stale the last 10. Just here for my kids at this point.
Image source: ChallengeTop423, Julia M Cameron
#20
It was when she told me she married me because of the prospect of what I could provide for her and not because she loved me.
Image source: sporkachoon, cottonbro studio
#21
She said she wanted a divorce.
I asked if she wanted to talk about it.
She said no.
I said okay.
We’d been married almost 3 years. Dated off and on for 10 years before that. Most of the people I knew weren’t surprised. She was a fine person. We just weren’t right for each other.
Within these stories, it is easy to focus on the final thing that made each husband walk away. But sometimes, that moment carries years of history. What seems like a small incident can have much more depth when you consider what the person has been living with.
What do you think is a valid reason to end a marriage, and what would you consider worth working through? Let us know where you draw the line in the comments.
#22
She told me she wasn’t going to be home for New Year’s Eve, because she wanted to celebrate with her new boyfriend.
We had been married for 10 1/2 years at that point.
Image source: Count2Zero, Designecologist
#23
She insisted I buy her a high-end sports car. I objected and bought her the next model down. Finished at the dealership. As she was about to drive off, she said, ‘This is what I wanted all the time, but I knew you wouldn’t go for it. So I pushed for the more expensive one.’
Image source: Select_Green_6296, Maheshwar Reddy
#24
She decided not to work anymore. Went from Vice President of a company to not wanting to work. I tried to support us on my salary, but then she called us poor in front of her awful sister. That moment I decided I was done. Thank God
Image source: Alert_Umpire_2879, Nicola Barts
#25
A lot of the time its not even one final thing…
Its just the realization that this is it for the next 30 or 40 or 50 years, as long as you have left.
Then you’ll be d**d. Do you want the rest of the time you have to be THIS.
Once that stinging realization comes, you begin to check out and look for the exit.
Image source: churito69, Vitaly Gariev
#26
I’ve never been married- so I’m not sure my response is completely qualified. I however, have broken off two engagements.
The first one was pretty much over when I found out that she had been texting with a guy from work (like all day every day)- I think it was more of an emotional affair than anything physical (but who knows). We were only a few months out from the wedding, so I think I was willing to try to work it out with her. But a couple weeks later I found out that absolutely nothing changed between her and the guy, not only did the continue to text all day every day like nothing happened, but she told him everything about the whole thing and was talking s**t about me to him. That was the final straw.
The 2nd engagement we were just having a hard time and fighting a lot and it in general wasn’t going well. We were out to lunch with my parents and she was in general just being a b***h, and at some point felt it necessary to tell my mom that she didn’t even like me, she just tolerated me. The relationship pretty much d**d right there.
Image source: phillychzstk, Edmond Dantès
#27
Oh, I don’t know, when she turned up pregnant from an affair?
Image source: Dazzling-Astronaut88, Juan Carlos Flores Rodríguez
#28
The day I realized that we had to much in common. I liked women, she liked women, which she proved to me when I caught them making out on my living room couch with another woman.
Image source: 8675201, Tim Samuel
#29
My ex-wife’s continuous threats of divorce when she didn’t get her way, manipulative behavior, constantly lying, and me finally getting sick of it all and coming to peace with God on divorcing her.
Image source: technofox01, Polina Zimmerman
#30
She told me that she loved me like a brother, wanted a trial separation and went and slept with someone else. Denied it then blamed me for it. Eventually told me she had been with someone else for 8 months.
A few weeks earlier I had bought her a present when I came back from a work trip. Her BFF was there who got divorecd a few years ago. They asked why I’d bought the present (it was themed from something she has liked her whole life from the place I’d went which was famous for it) questioning me.
They called me into the room 3 minutes after I gave her it, they asked me if I bought it because I had an affair whilst I was away and giggled with each other.
The whole time they both knew what was going on whilst mocking me.
Image source: Jamjamjamh, Pavel Danilyuk
#31
Long story short. Her spending. F**k. We had so many arguments about her spending. But stop. Nope.
Image source: Cool_As_Your_Dad
#32
Finding out she was having another affair. Shame on me for trying to stay and make things work for the family. Also to hell with this system in the US….she made so much money, even off my premarital assets, for working part time and spending nonstop.
Image source: SomethingMildlyFunny
#33
She lied. My ex was violent, a*****e, and had cheated on me repeatedly. Our relationship was in an awful state, but I had agreed to work on it for the sake of my daughter. I had installed Spyware on her computer and saw she was talking to the other guy. She refused to admit it. It didn’t matter that it was benign. I saw there wasn’t any hope of change. .
Image source: FuneralTater
#34
I asked her to spend some more time at home with me, as I was feeling neglected by her. She said OK. The next day while I was at work she moved in with someone else and his parents.
Image source: chilehead
#35
Cheated. Caught. Cheated again with same guy. Caught.
Pretty easy decision. I pretended like it was a hard choice, but the day after the divorce, I had a date lined up. That relationship ended in my mind and had no emotions left.
Image source: Cantdrownafish
#36
Finding out she was scheming with her brother to fleece me.
Image source: Grumpy-Man19
#37
Tried to keep me from seeing my dad on Father’s Day.
There were a lot of things going wrong in our marriage (personal incompatibility, her change in whether or not to have kids, weird racism) but the immediate cause of me moving out and finally ending things was her absolute refusal to let me have any kind of relationship with my family. We were coming out of the pandemic and I hadn’t seen my parents in over a year, mom invites me to a BBQ for Father’s Day and ex says no, we aren’t going. I try to offer that I could just go alone, she refuses and says that would make her look bad.
Grabbed a backpack, got some clothes and was out. Spent a night at my office, and then a few nights in a hotel before finally getting over myself and just calling my dad and telling him what happened. Dad just said come home, great man.
Had thought of leaving for a long time, but that finally made the choice clear.
Image source: RyanNS2019
#38
She didn’t want to pick me up from the airport. It wasn’t even the big things like she wanted to f**k other men. The fact that she couldn’t do a simple thing to support me was what broke me.
Image source: engineered_academic
#39
I wasn’t married but I did support her and her daughter. I had a job I hated but it paid well, she had a job that was fringe show business but paid nothing. A lot of things led up to me walking out but finally she decided we needed to upgrade and move into a house. She decided. The house was a rental in a nice neighborhood I could barely afford i, I was paying all expenses and not able to save anything. I told her no, the look on her face said everything. Rage and disbelief. I left with some personal items, I started over again in a one bedroom apartment where I l couldn’t afford furniture for a month. Worth it. The funny part came where she called my sister to try and turn her against me. Instead, my sister told her that she’d come over and kick her behind if she bothered either of us again.
Image source: Prune-These
#40
She chose to spenr no time together with me. She made time for other people.
It was finally truly over when We went to an event and she told me she didn’t want to be around me.
That was it. It was enough. I was tired of her no liking me.
Image source: knowitallz
#41
She punched me in front of the kids
It had happened previously but I was holding on. I’m a very big man so cannot retaliate at all safely and never did……
That was the end, in my head, took me a week to move out and get a rental. S**t times but I’m remarried now ; super happy 😃.
Image source: Puzzleheaded-Spell-6
#42
We were at the hospital for my son’s asthma attack. I got a call from my sister saying a family member is in a hospital 2 hours away and doctors are unsure she will make it through the night.
I told my ex that once we are done here I will drive the 2 hours drop them off at my parents to sleep and hangout at the hospital. She said no i can go by myself as the baby needs to sleep. At that moment i knew she didn’t care about me anymore. I stayed for my son about a year and a half longer and it was miserable. I should have left sooner.
But if I did I likely wouldn’t have met my girlfriend and it’s a breath of fresh air being treated with love and respect and having non confrontational talks when we need clarification on issues. She builds me up rather than breaking me down constantly like my ex did. Everyone deserves someone in their life like that.
Image source: FlippinPlanes
#43
Over the course of a year I had some significant mental health issues. She was out of town, we got into an argument on a phone call, and I just snapped. I was barely managing myself. I took the “f**k this, f**k you” meme approach at that moment and told her I was done. I moved out the next day.
Image source: GoopInThisBowlIsVile
#44
I was told that I was not welcome to join her activities. That I was a liability to her happiness.
Image source: The-Ride
#45
Car was overheating so we turned the heat on. It stopped overheating but I wanted to keep the heat on for another few minutes to prevent it from happening again. She did not.
We went back and forth for a minute and then she called me a misogynistic j*****s in front of my 8 year old daughter and with her sister on speakerphone. It was the latest of several incidents of her swearing and calling me names in front of my kids.
Found an attorney and filed within a couple weeks.
Image source: Old-Estate-475
#46
When she said, “Why dont you go k**l yourself and make everyone’s lives better!” , in front of my daughter and her son, after i found out she was cheating on me. I was gone and had a place for myself and my daughter 3 days later.
Image source: paintypainter
#47
Oh I think I finally found it. After years.
My wife possibly rebreaking my foot last night. She keeps just screaming it was an accident. No apologies, nothing. Just it was amazing accident. My entire job relies on me walking.
Image source: Luffys_twin
#48
She said “I hate you. I wished I had cheated on you, and if you make me stay, I’ll make your life hell.” So I kicked her out bc of suspected cheating. A couple weeks later, a family member found a picture online proving she and her affair partner went to a hotel together on a “solo Mother’s Day trip” she asked for and I paid for. Mother of the Year Award!
Image source: SacredMushroomBoy
#49
It was either, after the third holiday she went on without me in a row. Where I would wake up from the time difference to find she had taken large sums from our joint account. Or when she took out a buy now pay later on video games to sell at CEX because she would get like a few pound back in cash. Many arguments and talks before about money where I would be the bad guy for questioning anything she would use joint account for. Especially as I was the one having to top it up. Was always an excuse as to why and promise she would get better with money. Said I wouldn’t get a house with her (I saved all the deposit) until her credit card debt was gone. But would only go up as well as money owed to me.
Image source: Towler22
#50
Found wife’s diary and she was pining after a coworker just a month after the wedding. Which she forced me into because being engaged for too long would make her anxious. It broke me.
Image source: Syleion
#51
We separated and then rejoined. One of those “we both had some growing to do” situations. Now have a kid and it’s been 3 years since the re-union.
We had both given up for the ~year leading to the separation and both resented eachother. My last straw was when her best friend came to me and told me I needed to “protect myself – you’re being taken advantage of”. When *her* best friend is warning *me* I knew it was time to go.
We both did some growing. I got sober, she got on SSRI’s, we both set some boundaries around division of labor and general relationship health. Have a kid and are now very happy.
Image source: AggravatingFlow1178
#52
Getting smacked in the face after watching her kid so she could bar hop. Told her that her son said he missed her when she got home, thinking it would make her feel missed and loved. Still can’t comprehend how she took it negatively or like I was “talking s**t”. But yeah, that was the last straw for me.
Image source: twosock360
#53
This wasn’t the “last straw” but had me questioning things from the very start and has been relevant considering leaving.
We were on my honeymoon in Bali and I got food p****ning. I was in bed sick and she was sitting there so pissed saying “I’m bored” while I’m throwing up and struggling. Zero support for me. If the roles had been reversed all I would do is make her comfortable.
I told her I was upset and she never could admit to anything she did wrong. You can’t overcome narcissism.
Image source: NPR_is_not_that_bad
#54
Not a divorce, but the final straw prior to my latest break-up was when she said she was glad that men suffered in the trenches during WW1. First time I ever shouted at her (despite being on the receiving end of tantrums for years). Sounds random I know, but it came about during a convo about the respective tolls of war on men and women, after I disputed her claim that women suffered more in war than men (?!). She’d always been a self-admitted “man-hater”, and was considered radical by her entire family and friend group, but this was the moment it finally clicked how hateful she was.
Image source: MatterSack
#55
We were together for 7 years, married for 2. She was never the most confident person and when she was pregnant with our daugter her already low self-esteem tanked.
I tried to tell and show her it didn’t matter. It did not work, at all. She started getting jealous, controlling and manipulative. She even tried to set curfews for me the few times I got to go out with my mates lol. I got so used to all the b******g, moaning and controlling I kinda went on autopilot and assumed that this is what life is like.
As time went on I found myself resenting both her and myself for allowing me to be pushed around like that. Then one random day at work I met HER. Petite, blue eyed, a smile that lights up a room and oozing confidence. Got to know eachother over a month or so working side by side and I fell deeply.
I admitted my feelings toward her, she felt the same. Drove home from work and told my now ex-wife it’s over. A s*******m of a divoce but worth it.
Best decision ever, my only regret is I waited too long.
Image source: Rapakymppi
#56
For me it was many things building up but the last stage was asking for help looking for a missing key. I accidentally took a key home from work that I shouldn’t have and misplaced it. I needed to find it before people realized it was missing. I had been looking for it for days and explained the seriousness and she just told me that it was stupid and refused to help me look for a key.
It could also be when I was doing home renovation projects when I was doing some drywall work with no help. I had everything taped off with plastic and still got subjected to screaming and door slamming because there was some dust on the floor. She could have spent less energy and just vacuumed it up.
Image source: icarusflewtooclose
#57
She stopped going to coparenting counseling with her ex who was weaponizing their son against me. If protecting me and her son wasn’t important to her. Me providing a safe family home for her and her boys wasn’t a priority for me. .
Image source: TheTrueGrizzlyAdams
#58
She said she was changing her mind on wanting kids. I made it very clear from the beginning I never wanted kids. I was afraid she was going to stop taking her birth control so I went and got a vasectomy. She became very resentful and angry and turned into a bit of an alcoholic after that. She got her second DUI and I decided I was done.
Image source: joeviper25
#59
My ex wife cheated on me.. probably many times before i actually caught her. The signs were there for a long time. I decided id give it a chance because of the kids.. (men.. and ladies DON’T fkn do that) took about 3 months before i caught her again. I didnt fight or argue, i just packed up my s**t took my kid and left to my parents.
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#60
Living pay cheque to pay cheque not because we didn’t earn enough money but because there was always something they wanted to buy. Got tired of having the same conversation for years that I didn’t want to live in perpetual financial insecurity when we didn’t need to.
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#61
Attempted m****r. She tried to hit me in the back of the head with a hatchet during an argument.
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#62
Currently separated, in the process of divorce. Bunch of lies on top of lies until she admitted cheating. Multiple times, but I’m sure there were more. Have kids, she couldn’t even say 100% whether one of the children were mine. She’s a terrible person.
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#63
Hearing her not care about what the kids wanted after claiming to friends that I was a*****e and disregarded her and the kids needs.
This was after she filed false reports about me, cost me over a quarter million in 3 years (I make less than half that a year), picked up a*****e habits from her childhood, and so much more.
They all contributed for sure, but the hypocrisy of saying I didn’t care about the kids then blatantly ignoring some of their most important requests is the one that did it for me.
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#64
While the final straw was her taking an argument to 11 when it needn’t have gone that extreme, looking back, I can see that the real break was a few months earlier.
We were engaged, but it was when we were on the way to an event for her son’s 13th birthday when she stopped the car and demanded I get out. So I did, and I walked home. And it emerged she’d done it not because of something I’d done, but because of something she’d wanted me to do (preparation for the event) but hadn’t discussed with me.
This was not unusual – being attacked because of discrepancies between what I did and what I should have done in her imagination, or failure to know things that she’d spoken to her mother about rather than me.
As far as I was concerned, the walking home halfway from her son’s 13th was when she went from ‘future wife’ to ‘someone I’m living with, for now’ and so it was definitely the end.
Now, just over a year after I left, I’m glad I did, but in reality, I haven’t regretted leaving at any time in the last 13-ish months. I’m sorta surprised I didn’t leave that day, about 4 months earlier.
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#65
I told the last 3 rounds of counselors “she keeps me on a need to know basis”. Doesn’t include me in decision making and makes plans without me. The last straw was a substantial inheritance check she didn’t bother to tell me about. I didn’t want her money but, I can’t, and she couldn’t, justify how you keep that from your life partner.
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#66
After 15 yrs I couldn’t take the thought of another vacation ruined by her drunken and manipulative behavior. She had been in rehab for the third time and it had become clear to me she was just going through the motions with no clear desire to get sober long term.
Things had been building for a few years but it was easy for me to compartmentalize everything because my job was really intense at the time and I was traveling a lot. Once I finally made the decisions I had a whole bunch of other revelations. Like how long I had been hoping for her to just suddenly drop d**d or that she would win the lottery and just disappear one day. Thankfully it wasn’t a particularly long divorce, but the crazy s**t that happened during that time cemented just how f****d up my situation was.
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#67
We were married almost 8 years, I’d never really been happy and if she were being honest she probably never was either. One Halloween I bought a mask to wear to answer the door for trick or treaters. One kid cried cause it scared him. The following day she said to me “next year you can’t wear that mask” and instantly in my head I thought “there is no way I can last until next year”. I filed for divorce within 2 weeks.
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#68
My soon to be ex likes to take illicit d***s and scream for hours on end. Coming back from a music festival this weekend I was driving and she was out of her gorge. Screamed the entire 2 hour ride home. Done.
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#69
She couldn’t take ownership over her actions. A lot of the criticisms and complaints she had towards me and others ended up being projection. Everything she did and said was always 100% justified in her mind. In certain aspects of life she was extremely competent and had an excellent memory, it’s just she seemed to use these powers to maintain petty grudges.
She was also what I’d describe as a “stealth Karen”. Unlike the Common Karen she’d delegate her grievances to someone connected to her. So if she had issues with someone, she’d go to someone close to them and pressure them into confronting the target. That way she never looked like the bad guy, it was the messenger always shot not her. When we got married, she mandated that each of us would go to our parents if the other spouse had an issue. This seemed reasonable at the time, but it turned out extremely one sided. Her parents were our landlords and helped out with childcare. I was very grateful for both. But she got to gatekeep any issues I had with either. If it wasn’t worthy of their attention she’d dismiss it. But on the flip side, she had tons of little grudges against my mom, and God forbid I not jump on that immediately.
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#70
I remember having a girlfriend’s mother tell me how her daughter was plotting to get a proposal. That was the last time I saw both of them.
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#71
She admitted that the guy she had cheated with had done h****n in the house with the kids present.
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#72
I realized that after 13 years, she had contributed absolutely nothing to our relationship.
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#73
It builds slowly and then it just hits a tipping point.
The “last straw” is just that. It wasn’t a significant event, it was just a straw, a stupid thing, THE LAST THING.
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#74
Hard to say really, but for me it was probably when she slept with her coworker… nope, actually that was 100% it.
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