You can absolutely agitate someone without actually committing a crime. The goal here isn’t to inflict pain, but to create just enough maddening inconveniences to make them think, “Why is this happening to me?”
Usually, you would save this as payback for a special someone who wronged you in some way. This is why these people are sharing their methods in a recent Threads post, when a user asked, “What’s something you could do to inconvenience a man, but not necessarily get charged/go to jail for?”
Responses included taking labels off canned goods, hiding an opened carton of milk to stink up a place, and taking away TV power cords, to name a few. Yes, most of these were mean-spirited, but they were also funny because they weren’t malicious enough to cause much suffering or torment.
#1
On the WiFi router, on the gaming device, on the tv… then possibilities are endless.
Image source: writercamille
#2
make a small donation to the church of scientology in his name. perhaps add a note that he’s *really* interested in becoming a member. they will never leave him alone & he’ll never know who did it.
Image source: swoollley, Raoul van Wijk
#3
1. Take all his left shoes. Just the left shoes.
2. Cutting off all the logos from his shirts.
3. Put shrimp or seafood in all his curtain rods.
4. Putting instant potatoes on his front (or back) lawn right before you know it’s going to rain.
5. Glitter in his car. He will find glitter from that for the rest of his life bc it’s impossible to get rid of.
6. Take his microwave plate. (I used to collect these when I was in college Men can’t cook a lot of the time and microwave a lot.)
Image source: becomingkasie, magnific
#4
Get 8 people to ring his phone and ask for George. When he says they’ve got the wrong number they say “Tell George (insert name here) rang and it’s on (insert random/different day.) ” After half an hour, someone rings him and says “Hey it’s George here. Any messages for me?”
Image source: dg_gat, user25451090
#5
I once dated a guy who wouldn’t let me poo at his apartment. One day, he sent me to the store up the street to do it so I took his keys with me and made a copy. Then I’d rush to his house on my lunch break, poo in his toilet and not flush. He never said anything to me but I heard him telling his friend about the phantom pooper.
Image source: greeneyedgemini11, Bizon
#6
pour a small amount of water in one shoe every morning before work (always the same shoe, just a splash)
dab just a little fish sauce on his toothbrush every night
put a thumb sized oil stain in the approximate booty hole location of all his pants (over time, not all at once)
microwave all his leftovers then put them back in the fridge
doesn’t matter what he says, find a chance to tell him your grannie used to say the same thing all the time (be dismissive, don’t explain).
Image source: frogwzrd, Wavebreak Media
#7
Glitter on his ceiling fan.
Image source: sarah_johnstone__, Mink Mingle
#8
Just tell him you don’t know where anything is every time he asks.
Image source: __lisamcg__, Getty Images
#9
Distribute a pack of braiding hair (in 613) throughout their house. They won’t be able to see it. Just spider web feelings forever.
Image source: sa.fi.tom, magnific
#10
Don’t take the batteries out of the TV and garage door remotes. turn them around so + is at the minus end instead.
Collect batteries that ran out. Fill a newly opened package with them.
Image source: aajarvis99, lazy_bear
#11
Hid an opened carton of milk under his kitchen sink. His apartment stunk for weeks and he had no clue where the smell was coming from.
Image source: spokenrawbeauty, Alex Green
#12
Have emotional needs, want to be treated with respect…
Image source: millerzmum, Liza Summer
#13
When I moved out of my exs house I took ALL of the labels off of the canned goods. Are you opening peaches or green beans? you’ll never know.
Image source: snipsbysam_, Jacob McGowin
#14
I have a masters and a doctorate but my proudest life achievement is when my ex-sister-in-law cheated on my brother with a 21 year old college dude from the UK so I signed her up for every email subscription I could possibly think of and the spam was so out of control she had to change her email address.
Image source: lauramatlin, Getty Images
#15
my mom is the absolute master of this – a few things she did to my dad growing up when he was annoying her to annoy him back:
1. moved the bookmark in whatever he was reading
2. used the slightly moldy part of cheese on his meal
3. bought him diet sprite instead of coca-cola and said she “forgot what he liked”.
Image source: antidentite, İcimdekikus A.
#16
Buy about 200 random keys and 100 key rings with the little tags you can write on from eBay/amazon/wherever you get your bulk junk, put his phone number on the tags, and get your friends together to scatter them across the city. He’ll be getting calls about his keys for months.
Image source: syrosiephotos, Zulfugar Karimov
#17
Deleted his Minecraft world.
Image source: cass__moreno_, Alexander Kovalev
#18
When I left my horrible ex I allegedly took:
Just the handles to the Microwave, stove, fridge, dishwashers and pots and pans
His shoe laces
Door knobs
Toilet valves after shutting them off ofc
One foot peg off of each piece of furniture
Guitar strings
10mm sockets
Video game cases
Tv power cords
Nailed all the windows shut
Superglued change in various places like the floor and nightstands
Took the handles off the nightstands too
The ring that makes the plate in the microwave move.
Image source: desnacnicwil02, Alena Darmel
#19
After being told that I did not contribute financially to our household and that was one of the many reasons he cheated, upon moving out I took everything I paid for: extension cords, light bulbs, toilet paper, bath towels, laundry detergent, household cleaning supplies, batteries (I left one in the remote-required 4), etc.
Image source: jmurph100915, Budgeron Bach
#20
Empty 1/2 of his BBQ dry seasoning container and refill with black salt.
Image source: 2cabbages_, whichstudio627
#21
Make his face smell like a foot.
Image source: rageandjoy, andranik.h90
#22
Remove all lightbulb and but leave the switch on (light bill will go crazy), fck his barber, glitter in his lotion, erase data from his Madden game, cut the buttons off all his jeans and shirts, replace his apple juice with Listerine, hide sardines in his air vent, under a rug, and for my closing act….buy feeder mice from PetSmart and let God’s will be done once you accidentally let them out in his place
Stay safe ladies.
Image source: tiffytiffeats, teksomolika
#23
After a friend left her cheating ex, she kept his passwords and every 5 or 6 months would cancel one of his utilities, insurance, cable, garbage service, or suspend his mail for weeks. She played a long game.
Image source: flyushkifly, gpointstudio
#24
After a break up with a long term boyfriend a friend helped me pack up my stuff. Part way through she looked around at the boxes and asked me “what’s he going to cook with?” That wasn’t my problem. He later asked me for a list of stuff I “took” from the kitchen. And then for a list of stuff he would need for the kitchen.
Image source: northernmichiganmaker, drobotdean
#25
The level of petty is off the charts and I’m here for it. I haven’t done this, but i read about it. Buy a bunch of keys (like 50 or more) and put a tag with: “if found please contact” and add his number, then drop keys anywhere you like – nearby, another state, a different country. He’ll be fielding lost key calls for years.
Image source: mmason624, wirestock
#26
This thread reminds me of the scene when Amelie sneaks into the bully’s house and does some things like putting slippers that are too small, cutting a shoelaces, replacing his toothpaste, etc to make the antagonist think he’s going mental, calls his mother but she changed the speed dials on his phone.
Image source: solorzanomorales73, Karolina Grabowska
#27
Put a bike lock around the spokes of the wheels on his car. Put tuna inside his curtain rods. Pour milk under his couch cushions.
Image source: jareddkeller, magnific
#28
I read about a woman who sprinkled watercress seeds all over the carpet, watered them and then left heating on full when she was leaving her unfaithful partner. He was on vacation with his floozie!
Image source: harkinjoyce, iridial
#29
Lemons in his curtain rods. They rot but wont smell and he’ll wonder why he keeps getting flies.
Image source: lord__azula, Han Lahandoe
#30
COCONUT OIL ON THE WINDSHEILD.
Image source: seolathegirl, Towfiqu barbhuiya
#31
Sprinkle a handful of mint seeds onto his lawn. Mint spreads through underground roots, so even if he cuts the mint leaves down they will continue to grow. Forever.
Image source: despres.j
#32
1. Purchase a large tub of buttery spread.
2. Scoop out & retain three quarters of the contents.
3. Drop in a deuce.
4. Cover your crime with as much of the original content.
5. Leave in the refrigerator.
Image source: coops602
#33
1. Rearrange the letters of the keyboard. Like shift them all right by 1, or rearrange the vowels
2. Change the units on the weighing scale (for food or body)
3. Take all the scoop cups for supplements
4. Take all the things he usually asks about (scissors, keys, can opener, etc). When he says he already looked in the same area, put it back, and tell him to check again
4. Take the oven racks / burner racks.
Image source: thechaptercuddler
#34
I used to kick the snow boogers off my car every time I dropped my kids off at my ex’s. He was ridiulous about having his driveway shoveled perfectly.
Image source: mythicmuseirl
#35
Steal the shoelaces out of all the shoes
Steal the left shoe of 40% of their shoes and then hide the remainder of his shoes in random places around the house, car, his job, etc. he won’t know which shoes to replace and won’t know which ones to replace because some have matches
Put a bunch of eggs over the shower drain and run it hot
Glitter in anything they use frequently…
Tuna juice/ eggs or fish Im vents
Release colony of ants in pillow.
Image source: lorde.kai_
#36
.
Telling him you’re “Ready to go”…
Then spending 30 minutes getting ready… and just as we finally walk out the door… “oh, let me get my sunglasses”.
Image source: the_absurdiest
#37
Take ALL his socks and underwear, stuff them in a few ziplock bags or a plastic grocery bag. Really wad them up so they’re entwined. Fill bags with water.
Toss them in the freezer.
Image source: chocl8chip
#38
Unscrew every lightbulb just a lil so they don’t work.
Image source: clearlybakedd13
#39
Glitter…. EVERYWHERE. In his vehicle, in his clothes, in his shoes, in his shampoo or body wash, in every corner of every room.
Image source: karma_witch27
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