Everyone who is married (or not) knows that it’s no walk in the garden. Rather, it takes considerable work and emotional energy to ensure partners are on the same page. That’s probably why couples often come up with unique ways to keep the spark alive.
One woman took to the internet to share how distance was the secret ingredient for her happy marriage. Apparently, ever since she started living apart from her husband, their relationship has completely transformed, and the two have never been happier. Read on to uncover what she had to say about their unconventional setup!
Couples often think of unique solutions to “keep the spark alive”
Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This couple started living a mile away from each other, and their marriage completely transformed for good
Yunus Tuğ / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Distance might work for some couples, but it can be a deal-breaker for other relationships
Believe it or not, the “living apart together (LAT)” trend is growing in popularity. Research estimates that around 10 percent of adults in committed relationships in the U.S. live apart from their partner by choice, not due to work, military, or immigration barriers. While it might not work for everyone, there definitely seem to be benefits that couples get from this unconventional arrangement.
Experts at Verywell Mind believe that this is ideal for couples who like their freedom and personal space. Each partner gets to choose their own living environment instead of being forced to live a certain way. The relationship also stays new and fresh, as people don’t get tired of each other easily; rather, excitement can return to their bond when they’re apart.
Such an arrangement is also a big perk for neurodivergent folks, who can have the freedom to manage their particular routine and way of things. Also, it helps people to think for themselves, instead of constantly being selfless and sacrificing for their partners. No wonder it’s such a hit among women who want freedom from a life they spent feeding their husbands.
However, there’s no denying that it’s not all sugar, spice, and everything nice. LAT can lead to avoidance of communication between couples, as escape is so easy. Sometimes, they might even find it difficult to spend time together. According to Marriage.com, it can actually be the “beginning of the end.”
Jealousy can increase, feelings may fade, and intimacy might also take a hit, considering how much extra work needs to be done. But the biggest con to this arrangement is managing finances. Folks end up spending a lot of money on rent and utilities, which can be reduced when they live together. Also, savings become almost nonexistent when there’s only one income to run the house.
The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Magnific (not the actual photo)
People can make “living apart together” work by following set strategies
Despite all the issues, LAT couples can thrive if they put their mind to it. Dr. Abby Medcalf, a psychologist and author, suggests key strategies that can actually make it work. First and foremost, create a shared vision with your partner about what really works for you. It’s also important to revisit and adjust these agreements when necessary.
Next, it’s best to prioritize your connection by intentionally creating shared moments with your other half. These small, repeated habits are super helpful in reinforcing the bond. She stresses that couples should also have clear financial boundaries to avoid conflict later on. The last aspects she speaks about are making space for changing needs and speaking up about social perceptions.
After all, it is only through communication that any relationship can function healthily. “LAT isn’t about being afraid of love or avoiding responsibility. It’s about doing relationships on purpose, not by default,” Dr. Abby concludes. It seems like the woman in the video and her husband have cracked these strategies. LAT worked brilliantly for them, as their relationship transformed.
According to a poll, roughly eight in ten people said they were completely or very satisfied with their marriages. Only five percent report being dissatisfied. Despite this, one in three Americans who have ever been married end up divorced. Well, if partners love each other, they find a way somehow, and that’s probably why something like LAT has become a trend.
However, netizens were caught in a massive debate after the woman shared her unconventional marriage arrangement. Many peeps highly disapproved of it. What are your thoughts about the idea? Feel free to drop them in the comments below!
The woman’s confession sparked a massive debate among netizens
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