Most people have a secret or two; some you can share with your friends over a glass of wine, others you might have to confess in much more dramatic circumstances. And then there are secrets that you can only take to the grave: something so shameful and dire that no one else but the four walls of your bedroom and your personal journal are allowed to know.
Online, no one knows who you are, so your confessions are completely anonymous. It sometimes feels good to get things off your chest, and the Internet can be the place for some folks to do exactly that. These juicy secrets come to you from a recent online thread where one netizen asked, “What is a secret you’re currently keeping from everyone in your life because it’s just too messy?
#1
I hate being functional while being so depressed all the time.
Image source: __is_butter_a_carb__, Mariela Ferbo
#2
My neighbours next door went away for several days and left their cat outside in freezing temperatures and sent no one by to feed it.
I fed their cat and took it to the Humane Society (and signed a no euthanasia contract promising to take the cat if no one adopted it). It was adopted out the next day.
When the neighbours asked me if I had seen their cat I never told them.
Image source: ChronicallyPO, Polina Kuzovkova
#3
That I am incredibly resentful that I am my elderly father’s caregiver and work full time on top of managing my own chronic illness. I am angry. I am tired. I am lonely. I don’t have ANY help. I am a single 58 year old woman with NO LIFE. I keep up a facade for work and with my family. They can’t and/or won’t help. It’s a very dark place to be.
Image source: feministmanlover, Maria Kainana
#4
My biggest secret is that I love eating burger even though everyone thinks im vegan.
Image source: minesweeperjazz, Eduardo Ramos
#5
I want my mom to pass away as soon as possible. She’s a horrible, narcissistic witch and visits with her stress me out to no end. My dad recently opened his own business, which sounds like it’s doing really well, so taking care of my younger siblings don’t seem to be an issue, so at this point, I wish my mom would just pass away and leave the rest of our family alone. She’s the kind of narcissist that’s able to put up a perfect front for everyone else, but underneath, she’s a homophobic neurotic freak with tons of mental issues that I can’t keep up with.
Image source: VelocityRapter644, Aris Sfakianakis
#6
I have been having a tremor in my hand and weakness in my arm for months. I’m too afraid to find out why but it’s progressing.
Image source: Hungry-Apartment8367, Jessica Mangano
#7
I think I’m on the spectrum and almost 40 I’m nervous to do something about it.
Image source: GrantLongwick, Getty Images
#8
I’ve racked up so much credit debt, like 70k worth, and I don’t know what to do. Every month I pay the minimum because that’s all i can afford but then I have no money left over so I have to use credit cards to get by… I’m stressing really bad.
Image source: omgwehitaboot, Annie Spratt
#9
My husband left me because he got a coworker pregnant and has moved in with her. I don’t even know how to tell my dad. I feel so embarrassed about the situation.
Image source: mintieee, Curated Lifestyle
#10
I hate my family even if I know they did their best with what they had, but I still reek resentment for the emotional neglet and unfairness for some treatments.
Image source: Meewelyne, Cathal Mac an Bheatha
#11
I kind of have a crush on a guy at work – but i’m in a relationship. i’d never act on it and I feel a sort of shame about it.
Image source: SaltWtrTaffy, Getty Images
#12
My dad passed away a year and a half ago. He still crosses my mind every single day. I can still hear his voice when everything is quiet. When I was younger we got into a huge argument and we didn’t talk for 10 years. Then a wreck that put me in the hospital was the start of our reconcile. Seven short years later and he suddenly has a heart attack. He was 59 years old.
Through all those years of us fighting and not talking I always thought things would just be easier if he was deceased…. And now he is…. And I just feel like I missed out on a huge chunk of time because of a dumb fight. And the things I thought were just terrible at the time, and I feel guilty about letting our silence last for so long.
And it is time that I will never get back. I just have to keep going through life now knowing that I voluntarily missed out on 10 years of my father’s life. Because of me, he didn’t meet his youngest grandson until he was 10 years old.
This guilt and thoughts kick my insomnia into over drive. In the last year and a half I haven’t slept more that 3 hours a night, give or take.
Image source: Jauzsey, Pablo Merchán Montes
#13
I’m traveling and just found out I have pre-cancerous cells and need a minor surgery to get them removed. I’m getting the procedure done abroad and not telling my family, but frankly it’s for my own selfish reasons not because I don’t want to worry them. I just know if I tell them I’ll end up having to soothe their anxiety over it instead of being able to focus on my own recovery and I can’t be bothered to put up with that.
They’ve said before “If you ever get really sick/injured while abroad you’ll tell us, right??” and I lied and said of course, but in reality unless I’m actively dying I’ve learned it’s much better to handle these things by myself.
Image source: unispecte
#14
My husband and I gave our child up for adoption. Most people didn’t even know I was pregnant. We were really poor and our apartment was small had broken AC and had roaches plus we had no support system. We knew we couldn’t provide a good life for him. It broke our hearts. Now we’re better off and wish it would have happened now but you can’t change the past.
Image source: _bessica_, Annie Spratt
#15
I’m angry at everyone for being in their 2nd, 3rd, 10th relationship while I’ve never had anyone. Men are generally just not interested in me and the few that have been are complete weirdos. I’m angry in a “I just want to love someone” way, it’s so lonely.
Image source: Kooky_Bear_320, Edvinas Ivanovas
#16
I’ve been living in my car for three months now, and nobody knows. I just tell people I got a new apartment, but it’s complicated to visit. I park at Walmart most nights and shower at the gym. It’s not so bad, but the loneliness creeps in sometimes.
Image source: Excellent-Bake-3207, A. C.
#17
I frequently report my sister in law to child protection because she’s genuinely unstable and treats her autistic son like trash and decided she would have another baby to top it off. If I tell my partner I fear it’s over fr.
Image source: EnvironmentalLong414, Getty Images
#18
I am unemployed and feel absolutely embarassed and ashamed of myself. Just got rejected again from a place I interviewed with and am also pursuing a creative hobby that is bringing no money in but is elevating me as a person. My parents are very worried and ashamed of me as well because of this financial instability I have and it is uncomfortable being in an environment like this because I feel like I have no impressive career to show relatives yk.
Image source: endshipStreet4009
#19
Wife is pregnant. Just tested positive for hpv(not a surprise, we knew about that long ago) and the docs found irregular cells that point toward cervical cancer. My MIL has cervical cancer during her second pregnancy. I’m not freaking out, MIL had it surgically removed after the birth and was fine. Docs here said not to freak out, we are waiting for our appointment for testing. Not worth telling people the cancer part as we aren’t certain it is cancer. Not telling the HPV part as that’s just private.
Image source: Dry-Warthog1589
#20
I was treated for breast cancer, but it may have returned.
Image source: Sniffs_Markers
#21
I probably have bulimia but if anyone asks I’m trying to lose weight through diet and exercise.
Image source: Addicted_to_Nature, Vladimir Fedotov
#22
My ex filed for full custody of my kid. And I am not fighting it. I’ve reached my limit on trying to earn the love of anyone, even the child I gave birth to.
Image source: want_chocolate, Curated Lifestyle
#23
Not really a secret but i feel so far behind in my life and like a genuine failure as a woman everyday. both my best friends are either pregnant/married/engaged while i’ve been in a very long term relationship with it’s ups and downs. i’ve stopped reaching out to initiate plans because i don’t want to feel worse about myself around them. ive retreated completely into myself and don’t know when or if ill come back.
Image source: screaminginmiear
#24
That my wife and I have just opened our relationship.
After two kids we’ve had eight years without any intimacy. A week ago she asked me to leave her, because she cannot give me what I need. I held her and told her that I would rather live a life without any intimacy than a life without her. I told her that I liberate her from any duty and pressure. I told her that she does not have worry about that any more – that she is free from that, but that I will always love and never leave her.
Then she told me that I am allowed to go out and find what I need.
For the first time in years we held each other like a loving couple.
But hmm… Now I am allowed to… whatever. But, how? Will I ever? Not sure.
No matter what. It feels good and she is happy as well.
Image source: randomguy0815
#25
My fiance got made redundant and I’m terrified.
Our mortgage and bills are well over half our current monthly takehome and it took him 10 months to find his current job (old job was underpaying him). His redundancy package means he has about a month and a half before he stops getting paid.
I know that’s time. I know there’s part time jobs he can pick up but it’ll be so much harder on him when he’s already depressed about his father passing away and that his friends stopped talking to him. I’m trying to be supportive but I’m so scared it’ll end with me being the breadwinner, having side hustles and also doing all the house work cos he’s too depressed about everything that’s happened and him not being able to find a job.
So much of this night not happen but if it does I’ll have to choose to love him and actively choose to stay.
Image source: FickleActivity6639
#26
I’m 25 weeks pregnant and we haven’t told our families yet. We live overseas and away from them. Initially the plan was to tell them after the first trimester but now I’m putting it off till a month away from my due date. In our culture family members are expected to have no boundaries.
I’m afraid if I tell them now, I’ll be bombarded with unnecessary advice and unhelpful ideas. I can get easily anxious around them. I also don’t want them to spend a lot on the upcoming baby, especially my side of the family who has a tendency to splurge on gifts and then hold unrealistic expectations and resort to emotional blackmail.
My partner and I are setting up a small support system in our city and I basically want a peaceful birth experience and good initial bonding with the baby.
Image source: Lovemylife05
#27
I am about to go over the edge. my wife does freelance her whole career and got used to a strong and steady cash flow. when we got married she badgered me into putting a downpayment and paying for a house we cant afford, and i stated explicitly that if i get into loans to pay for the downpayment, it’s a bad financial decision that might kick us in the back. i asked to look for a cheaper house instead. or at least stay renting while we are saving. but no, she still got the house that she wanted that i should pay for. i pleaded with her that i wont be able to afford it… but no, she insisted that we can because she has established clients and she expects more on the way. so she can help me paying for the house.
stupid me believed that. she’s my wife, after all.
2 years later, i am so deep under that we will be losing the house, the car, and my salary barely covers all the loans i have to keep food on the table. and all because the money she expects to make isnt coming any more. and i am working very hard to keep the house, but now i am at my limit. i went from living comfortably 2 years ago to being so deep in debt now.
and it’s still my fault because she said i am supposed to be the provider.
and now i am staring at a possible eviction in a month or so with no cash to pay a deposit on a rental. and i cant vent out to my wife because i am the “provider”.
Image source: chilipulp, Allan Vega
#28
I neglected to tell my new psychiatrist about my eating disorder history so she would prescribe me not one but two medications (including one that will literally make me dumber) with weight loss as a common side effect because my life has felt so out of control and uncomfortable I have purposely chosen to have a little relapse as a treat.
Image source: Prestigious-Bug-1349
#29
Changing my last name (getting married soon) gives me anxiety. Im the last one, no sons in the family so the last name disappears when i get married. I know i dont *have to*, but i feel like i should.. but it feels like im losing part of myself. Kind of could be a “fresh start” but i like my name, i dont want to be called something else 🥲
Eta- if i keep mine, idk how we would do the last name of future kids.. idk why this feels so overwhelming to me but it does🥲.
Image source: AdExcellent7055
#30
If I get pregnant again, I’m most likely getting an abortion. I’ve had 4 miscarriages and lost a newborn, 4 of those 5 pregnancies were with fertility treatments (2 rounds of IUI and 2 of IVF). At this point I feel like I know the story ends and I don’t want to go through the hope, anxiety, despair, and grief again. An abortion would give me more control over my body and the outcome.
And yes, I am on birth control and my husband usually wears protection so the chance of it actually happening is very low.
Image source: saratonin84
#31
Went on a stress leave for a few months over the spring, because I was burnt out beyond belief…went back to work recently and was fired the first day back. Didn’t feel comfortable telling my family about the leave, so telling them about being let go just is messy and I have to make a bunch of stuff up.
Image source: megggers
#32
I’m transgender. 6 months on hormone therapy, still living with my family, still not out to anyone of them. I’m happy to be who I am in my own time, but I’m not at all close with them and could not deal with the hassle that coming out to them will be. It’s genuinely just preferable to wear a binder, boymode, etc, the every other day that I interact with them. Those Im close with are shocked Im not out yet to them given how I am in public when with others, but the effort it takes to hide it all is just, easier to me than the mental strain of having to expose something so personal about myself to my family.
Image source: Justsk8n, Baran Lotfollahi
#33
Everyone tells me I’m crazy so I don’t speak anymore now I hear “why don’t you talk/call/text” because y’all call me crazy and I’m not dealing with it. It’s easier to not talk than it is talking. It’s the only thing keeping me alive.
Image source: Armyofducks94
#34
I’m writing a book. It’s semi public (I posted stuff about it like 3 times on my 99 sub YT channel), but only my grandma has actually read it. I’m scared to show my dad because I’m already 17 chapters and 36,000 words deep, and the main character is in a gay relationship with one of the monsters (it’s a long story but it is explained). He screamed at me for being pan for an hour the last time he heard about LGTBQ+, I’m scared as to what his reaction will be to my book. My grandma isn’t an ally to LGTBQ+ but she respects them because I am and my friends are.
Image source: Educational_Loan6029
#35
I’m pregnant and aborting it even thought I’m in a long term relationship, we just can’t afford it and I know if I tell him it will devastate him.
Image source: catpawspls
#36
I could be up for bunion surgery soon… But pending an MRI they may need to fuse both the ball of my foot and my ankle because it’s so messed up.
I have been banking on bunion surgery to fix my foot and let me exercise to lose weight and help get me back to myself… Now I won’t be able to dance and as per the doctor, my ‘gait will be… different’.
*Edit: He said my foot was deformed. I mean I know, but yeah.
Image source: SuspiciousParagraph
#37
Pretty sure my FWB (who lives accross the country) had a failed vasectomy and I got pregnant.
Image source: SheikmightbeZelda
#38
Most of my friends have no idea that i’m wasting away from diabetes. They just ask why i don’t go out anymore.
Image source: Barzobius
#39
I have a certain amount of resentment in my heart towards my parents who never made financial plans for old age leaving my 2 siblings and I financially responsible for them. I have made so much debt just to keep head above water. I havent know how it feels to have a month without worrying about momey because I give 25% of my salary to them. Sometimes I have to take loans just to afford medicine for myself.
I wish I could have a child but I never got married and I cannot even afford to feed myself let alone another mouth. This gift has been taken away from me due to my financial burden.
Please don’t do this to your kids.
Image source: Individual_Emu2409
#40
I’m feeling resentful about my bf being unable to find a job since March. It’s not his fault, he’s applying. He’s just another poor individual who’s stuck in this bad job market. I make ok money but the prices of everything is making me explode. My stupid parents are so disconnected with reality saying “just find a new job”. I told them he can’t find one bc of this dumb administration. Asked them if their rich boomer friends had any openings at their companies. Crickets. Closer to going no contact with those traitors than anything.
Image source: tsunadesb0ngw8r
#41
I’m not in love with my partner anymore. Probably never was. We’ve been together for 13 years.
Image source: Last_Branch_7925
#42
I’m really sad, so very very sad. I’m tired all the time. I found out my mum has lung cancer yesterday and I had 10 minutes to sort myself before picking my toddler up from nursery and put on a big smile for the rest of the day until everyone goes to sleep and I can just cry alone. That was just the icing on the cake of my sadness. I don’t think it’ll ever get better. .
Image source: Accurate_Dot542
#43
God am I so unhappy with my college major at the moment but I can’t transfer nor shift out bc of a certain agreement I have to fulfill. I feel frozen to make a decision bc I know that any sudden, different move I make can cost me and my family thousands of money we don’t have. I can’t even tell them the immense pressure that I am under bc I’m sort of the “don’t worry about her” child whom everyone relies on. I feel pressure from myself, mostly, but also a lot from my family, even if mostly unspoken.
Image source: CathyPepic0
#44
I bought a house that needs work but it’s too much for me. Even if I had the money needed for all the work I work out of the house full time and can’t get enough time off to get quotes and be around when work is being done. The only good thing is I have around 600k in the house. Sounds like lots of money but it won’t buy you much in Australia.
My dog is 9. Once he’s going I fantasise about moving to Melbourne and buying a fairly new apartment and using any leftover money to travel.
Image source: EcstaticOrchid4825
#45
How I’m drowning with everything happening in my life right now and would have constant thoughts of just leaving.
Image source: mariasphodel
#46
I can’t have kids and my husband doesn’t want to adopt or foster or anything like that. He wants to move on with a childless life. I now feel like I have no purpose in life. I don’t want to be the “career woman”. I work for a living… I don’t live to work. I’ve sort of dived into taking care of stray cats, but I don’t feel like that’s satisfying enough for me. I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life. What will the next 30 years of my life look like? Working aimlessly, occasionally traveling, maybe retiring somewhat early if I can afford it… big whoop. I’ve debated divorcing my husband and fostering on my own, but I don’t think I have it in me anymore. Plus I can’t afford to live alone in this economy.
Image source: MyRandomUsername100
#47
I’m so incredibly bored with life. I’m married, she has a kid from first marriage. I have two careers. I am just so incredibly bored by everything. I feel like sometimes I have nothing to look forward to at all. I’ll book a vacation a year in advance because I’ll count down the days to that, but it’s not very much. My main career is super, incredibly boring and my second makes almost no money.
Image source: mrwriter1701
#48
How truly mentally drained and exhausted I am. I keep going like I’m okay and rarely let the mask slip the tiniest bit but make it seem like thats the worst of it. We are broke af and the bills just keep coming i was a sahm but am working now and its still not enough, we have cut out so much from the budget idk what else we could cut. At home there’s always something to be done/cleaned and one of us is always sick (2yrold in daycare). Its so stressful I just want to escape it all for a while.
Image source: messy_fishy
#49
My sister in law sold her mom’s wedding ring after coming across money then blowing it all. .
Image source: Different-Phone-7654
#50
I am off my medications and haven’t had electricity in 2 weeks. I’m struggling really hard and the only person who knows is my boyfriend, who is letting me stay with him. It’s embarrassing.
Image source: livingdeaddrina
#51
I’m 8 months pregnant and just broke up with my partner. I’ll be moving out soon into my own apartment. We were together 4 years…
The worse part is, he’s such a great guy and everyone loves him and I together. He will be a great father but he’s neglectful as a partner and has poor boundaries with other women.
Baby shower is in a couple of weeks and everyone is so excited for us. And I don’t know how to tell my family. I’m just done.
Image source: CatEye619
#52
My secret is that i feel mostly nothing emotionally. Im not saying this to be edgy i literally need to see a psychiatrist i feel really hollow inside and whenever i say this to someone they just walk away from my life.
Image source: Conscious_Hat_1295
#53
My wife and I recently separated. We have two young kids. We’ve remained on good terms as we still get along and enjoy each other’s company and family time with the kids. What I haven’t told people is that the reason we separated was that she had a long-distance affair, convinced me to give polyamory a go, and then three months later decided that no that wasn’t what she wanted and she wanted to separate instead and commit to her affair partner. I then spent about six more months trying to fight all of this before accepting reality.
Now she’s in a relationship with the long-distance affair partner. He came to visit last month but no one except myself knows (I had to know for co-parenting logistics) as she wants to avoid scandal and to ensure that it looks like there’s adequate distance between the separation and the new relationship. I’ve talked about it with my therapist and close friends from way back who live in a completely different city but that’s it.
I think I’m over all the initial pain now, though that’s not to say there aren’t days when sadness and grief hits. I spent so long reeling from the initial discovery, trying to adapt to the situation, and then fighting a losing battle that much of the initial grief and pain is gone, and I’m just trying to focus on what’s good in my life — kids, my friends, hobbies I enjoy. I even met the new partner for a beer when he was in town, and we got on well…
Image source: Aethelwulf17
#54
That I won’t do chemo again.
Image source: Commission-Mission
#55
I‘m still not over my wife cheating on me. I‘m here playing along on a surface level to keep the divorce away from the kids, but my plan is to keep going until they are into adulthood and can take care of themselves. If I can even last that long. .
Image source: Gruselbaer
#56
I put on a mask everyday, pretend I’m happy as I go day to day wondering why I’m still going. I’m in highschool right now, going into my senior year, and I should be excited for college right? No, I just want everything to stop. Who cares that my CGPA is 97 when I can’t see why I should wake up tomorrow? I’ve been to therapists and counselors, but nothing helps because apparently I’m “not in a depressed life state” so I can be put on medications.
Image source: fateoftheforge
#57
I got a wheelchair prescribed at the hospital. I already used the prescription. Just waiting for insurance to approve and the manufacturer to deliver. I can walk some at home at least, so told nobody.
Image source: Aggravating_Return49
#58
I’ve had hallucinations of seeing a double of myself, and I’ve started having much worse anxiety and panic attacks.
I have a trusted group of friends that I’ll be talking to about this later this week. I hope they can help me figure out if this is Charles bonnet syndrome hallucination, or if this is something more serious.
Image source: singwhatyoucantsay
#59
My anxiety is peaking bc a guy broke my heart.
Image source: WhatTheAVRA
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