We can’t all be witty when put on the spot. No matter how clever you sound in your own head, when faced with confrontation, it can feel impossible to get the words out without stuttering and stumbling. But one of the great things about social media is that it allows us time to formulate our replies before posting them. And as you’ll see from this list, some people just have a skill for crafting comebacks akin to Shakespeare.
We took a trip to the Rare Insults subreddit and gathered some of their funniest posts below. Now, we certainly don’t condone offending people for no reason. But if someone throws the first stone, they’re fair game. Enjoy reading through these brutal burns, and be sure to upvote the ones that you find particularly brilliant!
#1 The Ratio On This Tweet Is Good, But The Replies Hidden By The Op Were Even Better
Image source: h_unt
#2 This Is So Beautiful. So Creative
Image source: kevinowdziej
#3 He Was Pretty Hard On Them
Image source: iamnumair
Hopefully, you don’t have to insult people in your life very often. If you do, you might want to rethink the people that you’re surrounding yourself with. Or you may need to try some anger management exercises… But because insulting others doesn’t come naturally to the majority of us, it’s extremely impressive when someone’s tongue (or keyboard) can cut like a knife without any effort.
That’s why the Rare Insults subreddit is so fascinating. This community receives over 700K visitors each week, and it’s an absolute treasure trove of clever and unique comebacks. We don’t condone bullying, pandas. But if you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to defend yourself, it might be wise to have some of these comebacks up your sleeve.
#4 Spat Out My Drink
Image source: xSaami
#5 Not A Fan Of British Cuisine
Image source: KozureOkami
#6 Harsh But True
Image source: [deleted]
While they have certainly developed over time, insults have likely been around for as long as humans have been on this planet. The New York Times published a piece breaking down the history of insults where they noted that they even appear in the Bible. For example, 1 Samuel 20:30 says, “Thou son of the perverse rebellious woman!” Apparently, even back then, moms were targeted in insults.
The Bible also warned people not to use their words as weapons. 1 Peter 3:9 states, “Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.”
#7 Grandma Is This True?
Image source: empressoflight72
#8 On A Video Of Someone Pretending To Fall Over
Image source: hambugrer
#9 Medium Rare Burn
Image source: itssamix
Unsurprisingly, insults also appear in Ancient Roman texts. Philosophers of the time did not hesitate to throw jabs at one another’s writing. In fact, Catullus’ poem “Carmen 16” was essentially a diss track. It was a response to two men who had been calling his poetry soft, which was apparently quite the insult in that era. So to clap back, he began “Carmen 16” with a filthy, crude, and scathing insult. We’ll warn you right now, the text is not family-friendly at all.
#10 Dude Looks Bigger Than The Other Pic
Image source: [deleted]
#11 The Level Of Accuracy
Image source: w_wavvi
#12 She Really Does
Image source: [deleted]
We would be remiss if we didn’t show some appreciation for Shakespeare, as he was a king of writing in general, but particularly of writing insults. From the simple ones like “Villain, I have done thy mother,” to the more complex “More of your conversation would infect my brain,” Shakespeare certainly knew how to cut to the bone. As for his style, many of his digs included combining words, such as “puke-stocking” or “beetle-headed.”
#13 Whatever Happened To Brexit?
Image source: kajraray
#14 What A Rollercoaster
Image source: Boring_Advice
#15 Idk, Is This An Insult?
Image source: radovanovaponozka
Shakespeare also often crafted his jabs to signify a character’s social class. For example, a royal would spew more eloquent insults than a commoner, who might speak more directly and vulgarly. And while the verbiage might sound outdated, the messages of many of his insults would still be effective today.
Calling someone a “poisonous bunch-backed toad” definitely does not sound like a compliment. And saying that a person has “more hair than wit” (especially if they don’t have much hair) makes perfect sense. Many of these modern rare insults come straight out of Shakespeare’s playbook, even if the writers don’t realize it.
#16 Mrs. Two Red Chevrons
Image source: folk_anarchist
#17 Mark Wahlberg Got Roasted
Image source: MyHeroFan2004
#18 What A Timely And Accurate Response
Image source: Nyxel_
Language is constantly evolving over time, so it’s no surprise that you probably use different insults than what your grandparents would have said to their enemies. But if you’re curious about what the younger generations are saying nowadays when they really want to get under someone’s skin, The Week published a piece breaking down some of the most popular Gen Z slang.
If you’ve just done something cringey or embarrassing, especially if you’ve posted it on social media, you might receive comments saying “big yikes.” And if you’re a Millennial trying way too hard to fit in with Gen Z, you might be labeled “cheugy.”
#19 One That Would Get Turned Off After A While
Image source: Pyrgopolyrhythm
#20 Imagine Being Intellectual On Reddit
Image source: Sapotis
#21 This Is Hard
Image source: Nikdraws11
Gen Z has even created a derogatory term for AI bots: “clankers.” And if the younger generation finds you basic and boring, they might say your behavior is “coworker core.” Meanwhile, if the younger generation notices a woman who seems to be trying too hard to appeal to the male gaze or put down other women to prove that she’s “not like other girls,” she might be labeled a “pick-me.” And if Gen Z wants to simply insult someone’s appearance, they might call them “chopped,” meaning that they’re simply unattractive.
#22 Ouch That Outa Hurt
Image source: coolboylure
#23 I Walk The Line
Image source: OscarBars
#24 Mediocre Roast From My Friend
Image source: YoungTurtle43
Are you feeling inspired to start crafting your own brilliant insults after reading through these posts, pandas? Keep upvoting the ones that you find particularly clever, and let us know in the comments below if you have any other useful rare insults hidden up your sleeve. Then, if you’re looking for another Bored Panda article featuring witty comebacks, check out this list next!
#25 This Is A Fair Point
Image source: FilthyRascals
#26 The Duality Of Man
Image source: LadybugSheep
#27 Even Facebook Can’t Delete That
Image source: RANDOM_CitiZen23
#28 Does Insulting A Dog Still Count?
Image source: DeKameraad27
#29 Idioth Sandbith
Image source: __Dawn__Amber__
#30 Monolinguals Are Miserable Now I Guess
Image source: [deleted]
#31 Pachysephalasaurs Is A Big Word
Image source: [deleted]
#32 Kids Can Be So Brutal
Image source: [deleted]
#33 The Power Of Imagination
Image source: __Dawn__Amber__
#34 Big Oof Moment
Image source: akfm_amo
#35 Sometimes The Comments On Ig Ads Are Gold
Image source: [deleted]
#36 On An Influencer Who Has Trained His Jaw
Image source: theonewhowasbeing
#37 I Died Laughing At This Specifically Accurate Comment
Image source: eatockbo
#38 I Mean Who Makes These Types Of “Memes”
Image source: AstroyashSenpai69
#39 Can’t Unsee It Now :(
Image source: literallynoone5545
#40 Papa’s On Ot Again
Image source: Beginning-Trash-6048
#41 A “H.p. Birdbath” If You Will
Image source: [deleted]
#42 She Just Got Flamed Bro
Image source: PewdsForPresidnt
#43 This Was Blunt Indeed
Image source: sodj-
#44 Couldn’t Pass Up On Opportunity; Had To Put It Here
Image source: [deleted]
#45 Savage Dad Strikes Again
Image source: sodj-
#46 Connor, The Human Equivalent Of A Honda Accord
Image source: AgentKitteh
#47 Absolute Belter That Just Appeared On My Facebook
Image source: Cpt_Broon
#48 He Does Look Like One
Image source: colonelCSA
#49 Man Just Insulted A Whole State
Image source: lexa8070
#50 This Is Probably The First Time I’ve Seen Someone Take A Shot At A Letter
Image source: krxzy_wxrlxck
#51 Comcast Needs To Get It Together Tbh
Image source: ShubhamG77
#52 It Really Do Tho
Image source: asschemist0
#53 A Lot To Unpack Here
Image source: save_the_andrews
#54 Stand Up Straight, Friend
Image source: frozen_llama
#55 She Did Him Bad
Image source: Previous_Reporter_63
#56 A Grade Self-Burn
Image source: praaany
#57 Old Man Logan
Image source: Scaulbylausis
#58 She Asked For It Tho
Image source: AnkitNemivant
#59 This Made Me Laugh Out Loud
Image source: Button-go-click
#60 Worst Loaf Of Bread Ever Baked
Image source: Nicox37
#61 “Ea, Please Do Better”
Image source: -Deadlocked-
#62 This Took Me Out
Image source: ColdCornSparkles
#63 360 Chat Was Wild
Image source: [deleted]
#64 A Nice Little Science Lesson
Image source: Ghettoblaster96
#65 “It’s Not A Phase Mom”
Image source: Arbi-ES
#66 Ltt Tweets Are A Gold Mine
Image source: [deleted]
#67 Do Burns On Houses Count
Image source: The_Gart
#68 Classic Scrubs For The Rarest Insults
Image source: osces
#69 I Mean Am I Wrong?
Image source: ragreon
#70 Hes A Chiken Mcnögget
Image source: geNeraL_jaY32
#71 Dreams New Video Lookin Great
Image source: anwa-gows-uwu
#72 Its Hard Prince-Thug Life
Image source: ItsOriginalUsername
#73 2021s Best ‘Yo Momma’ Insult
Image source: vulpes_tail
#74 More Room For Breast Milk In The Fridge That Way
Image source: [deleted]
#75 It Comes With A Side Of Sweet Baby Ray’s
Image source: MrBluebeef
#76 “Who Is The Cringiest Celebrity?”
Image source: gooodkush
#77 Ouch, This Was Perfect
Image source: wesreadit
#78 That Man’s Scary Af!
Image source: patrickksstarrr
#79 Oof, That One Was Creative
Image source: [deleted]
#80 Finally, A Worthy Excuse For Poor Aim
Image source: AyBawss
#81 How Much Of Your Life?
Image source: illuminativeee
#82 10/10 For The Burn
Image source: Jackhammer_YOUTUBE
#83 She Has Officially Disintegrated Into Pieces
Image source: RealRaging_Fire
#84 Titles Mostly Spoil The Roast
Image source: [deleted]
#85 That One Took Me Back To “The Good Old Days” LOL
Image source: thatoneslugees
#86 That Guy Needs Agrave Now,
Image source: ImaCompletCyclePath
#87 Hot Dog Water
Image source: [deleted]
#88 A True Fantasy
Image source: seasonaltoothreport
#89
Image source: ad2022
#90 Op Renews His License
Image source: Clayman2198
#91 For Me That’s A Legitimate Insult
Image source: MedonSirius
#92 Damn Is He Gonna Use Them As A Wet Wipe
Image source: Astronomylover999999
#93 That’s Quite An Accurate Description
Image source: bouchandre
#94 Flextape Cant Fix
Image source: JENKIDAMA44
#95 It Do Be Looking Like That
Image source: fauxpasgrapher
#96 Ah, Paris. The City Of Love
Image source: CthulhuMadness
#97 Probably One Of The Best I’ve Seen
Image source: mutuallyPlank62
#98 A Very Specific Insult
Image source: Ehrenlauch3000
#99 That’s A Lot Of Worlds
Image source: Freezinio
#100 Two Insults For The Price Of One
Image source: lotusflower1995
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