Dating a new person can be a great experience as you get to know about their background and quirks and decide whether the two of you can be compatible. If it isn’t a match, it should be easy to break things off at the start, but sometimes that can be difficult to do.
This is what a young woman experienced when she went on a date with a man and found out that he was a single dad to two children. Since she didn’t want to become anyone’s stepmom so soon, she tried to let the man down easy, but he played the victim card instead.
More info: Reddit
Nobody should be forced to date anyone that they aren’t interested in, especially if their view for the future is incompatible
Image credits: peoplecreations / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The nineteen-year-old poster shared that she had been set up on a date with a man, and only after meeting him did she realize that he was a single dad with two kids
Image credits: Camandona / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Since the woman had always known that she didn’t want kids and wasn’t up for being a stepmom, she refused a second date with the man, but he started pestering her
Image credits: benzoix / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The man wasn’t taking no for an answer, and he tried to make himself out to be a victim of baby trapping, so as to convince the poster to keep dating him
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The young woman stopped replying to the man’s messages, but the friends who set her up with him called her out for being judgmental and expected her to apologize to him
The poster had been open to meeting a man that her friends had set her up with, but once she began getting to know him, she realized that he had two little children. Since she wasn’t really a fan of kids and wasn’t planning on having any either, she decided to let the man down easy instead of leading him on.
Although it can be tough to break things off with a potential partner just because they are a single parent, dating advisors explain that it is your right to do so. It is essential to understand that nobody is under any obligation to start a relationship with a parent unless they are fully open to the idea of raising kids or being a stepparent.
Since the woman was clear about not being comfortable with possibly having to be a stepmom to two children, she ended things with the man. Unfortunately, he didn’t take this well and accused her of being judgmental just because he was a single dad, and he kept trying to convince her to change her mind.
As most childfree people will explain, it is very important not to give in to outside pressure when it comes to the values that you hold dear. That’s because it can be tough to be in a relationship with someone who has kids, and although it is possible to work things out, it might just not be for everyone.
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The man kept pestering the OP to give him another chance, and he explained that she should take pity on him because he was a victim of babytrapping. He also made it seem like, since he was just a young kid when he had his kids, that things were quite tough for him, which is why she shouldn’t just give up on him.
It can be hard to set boundaries with people who keep playing the ‘victim card,’ but experts state that the best way to go about it is to simply validate their emotions. This doesn’t mean that you agree with everything they are saying, but by understanding how they are feeling, it can help reduce their pushiness.
After a while, the OP simply decided not to engage with the man anymore, and she stopped replying to him. The problem is that her friends got mad at her for rejecting the guy simply because he was a single dad, and they also felt that she was being judgmental about his lifestyle.
Even though the woman had tried her best to be upfront about her boundaries, her friends felt that she should actually apologize to the man for making him feel bad. Even though this might be an uncomfortable situation to be in, it’s probably good that the OP was able to stay true to her values.
Do you think the woman needs to apologize to her date for ending things with him? We’d love to hear your honest opinions on this story and what you would have done if you were in her shoes.
People sided with the woman and felt that it was good that she escaped the clutches of such a man-child
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