Whenever someone wrongs us, we’re told the admirable thing to do is be the bigger person. Turn the other cheek. Forgive, forget, and let the universe restore balance on its own. But while that may be the morally righteous path, let’s be honest—it doesn’t feel nearly as good as serving up a perfectly crafted dose of payback.
One Redditor asked users to share the most satisfying acts of revenge they’d ever experienced, and they had no shortage of stories to tell. From brilliantly petty to deliciously sweet, scroll down to read the best ones and upvote your favorites.
#1
I couldn’t stand this one kid who I went to high-school with, who lived a few blocks away in the neighbourhood. One night, he sent cops to my parents house where I was still living, telling them I had done something I didn’t do. Luckily I had a receipt in my pocket from the restaurant I was at, in suburb 10 miles away that was time stamped half an hour later than when he said the incident occurred.
Regardless, my parents were woken up, etc etc. I was pissed.
Well, a few days later, my mom bought some plants that she left in the kitchen window. Our family cat was a nutball to begin with, but all of a sudden he was constantly jumping on the counters, eating these plants. When I’d try and shoo him down, he would actually take a defensive stance and hiss and scratch. 10 minutes later, he would be back, chewing on the leaves.
I asked my mom what the plants were, and she said, “Oh, they are catnip. They have a really pretty flower. I’m going to plant them in the backyard when the weather warms up.”
I was like, “Not a chance you’re planting these in our backyard. Look what you’re doing to the cat! He’s aggressive! You’ll bring every cat in the neighbourhood, and they will all fight, all night long!!!”
Suddenly, at that exact moment, a revenge plot was born. The following night, I snuck into his backyard and planted the catnip everywhere. My friend who lived across the street from him told me it worked perfectly, and that he was always complaining about cats fighting in his backyard after that.
Revenge. No physical confrontation, no property damage, just cats.
Felt a little like some sort of super villain, sending out my cat minions to do my dirty work.
Image source: iamkokonutz, Oscar Fickel/unsplash
#2
For years and years in late elementary school and most of middle school, this one kid would just bully me constantly. Towards the end of 8th grade it had gotten pretty bad, and I really just wanted it to end. Let’s call him Chris.
When looking for a lost parrot on my property, I found the bottom half of some animal (may have been a muskrat, groundhog, or something similar, but I couldn’t be sure exactly what) under a tree and brought it back to the house. I then called my mom, who was out of town travelling at the time, how I’d go about making it stop stinking (this was before I could really just google it). She wouldn’t really help me because I wouldn’t tell her why I wanted to disinfect a deceased rodent, but I let it sit out in the sun (this was late May) for a few days, and that ended most of the bugs and whatnot.
I then wrapped it up in butcher paper, and put it in a paper bag. I then wrote “Dear Chris, you forgot your lunch this morning. Love, Mom” on it. Chris always brought a bagged lunch in to school every single day. In the morning after the first class period started, I went to his locker (no one locked theirs) and put it in his locker. After first period you could hear the screech from the floor below. Along with everyone else, I ran towards the sound and saw Chris walking down the hallway sobbing.
I didn’t do much to hide the fact that I did it, and was given a day of in-school suspension. The principal didn’t find the humor in negotiating for a half-day since it was only half a rodent.
Chris never really messed with me after that.
Image source: jarkyttaa, Andrej Lišakov/unsplash
#3
My senior year of college, I lived in a 4 BR on campus apartment with campus assigned roommates. The other 3 girls were all friends, and I just was randomly assigned to fill the 4th spot. They decided to basically make my life hell so I would move out and they could use the extra space. They were horrible human beings, ridiculously cruel, and to this day I hope they get kidnapped.
I did end up moving out. I had reached that point people get to in horror movies where they abandon their things and just leave. I left a bunch of my stuff there and moved in with my boyfriend before we were really ready for that.
SO… My revenge… All the bedroom doors in our apartment locked, but the two bathrooms did not. So any stuff left in the bathroom was open to anyone. I put Nair in their shampoo. All three roommates. They all showered before they realized what was happening. They all had sad, pathetic, patchy hair on top of being mostly bald. I saw them on campus once or twice after (It was my student teaching semester, so I was off campus a lot.) and I was so happy, it was almost sick.
TL;DR: Nair in shampoo bottles.
Image source: tubernonster, Aggravating_Sugar611/reddit
#4
Worked in an office with this jerk that used to make noises on conference calls with his headset mike. Extremely annoying. So one day I borrowed it and used the mike to clean the bottom of the urinal in the mens room. From then on when he sucked on it to make his annoying sounds, several of us on the call were amused rather than annoyed.
Image source: UBERELLIOTT, Oleg Ivanov/unsplash
#5
I grew up with a step brother the same age as me. When we were about 15, I had to start shaving because my beard came in pretty early. I walked into the bathroom one day and caught him shaving his [privates] with my brand new Gilette 4 blade razor.
So I took his toothbrush, scrubbed the toilet with it, wiped off the residue and put it back. I also put blue food coloring in his Listerine mouthwash. I don’t think he ever found out. He was, however, thoroughly confused as to why the mouthwash turned his entire mouth blue.
Image source: Jmcothran, Kristina Shvedenko/unsplash
#6
I clearly remember when I was 5 and in kindergarten (and that’s a long time ago), I loved building towers with blocks. One day, a boy comes over and kicks down my tower.
The next day, I build it with little blocks inside the base, so it’s not hollow. He comes back and kicks it down. It took him two kicks.
The next day, I took one of those big blocks, like 12″ by 12″, and hide it in the base by surrounding it with little blocks. Looks just like before. He comes back and kicks it…and nearly breaks his stupid toe. Yeah, he was crying, then had to tell the teacher how he hurt his toe.
He never bothered me again.
Image source: Callmedory, Getty Images/unsplash
#7
I moved to a new town just in time to start 7th grade in a junior hi. This jerk behind me in one of my classes kept punching me really hard in the back of the shoulder from the desk behind me. One day I taped a bunch of tacks to my shoulder under my shirt. Should have been obvious, but the sucker walloped me anyway. We both got in trouble, but it was worth it.
Image source: shibarib, Getty Images/unsplash
#8
I was married to an aggressive bully for 15 years, i put up with the frequent hits and put me downs for the sake of the 2 children, his favourite thing to do was to leave me short of money so i had to clean peoples houses just to get by so when [he] left me for another woman i was of course over the moon, i kept in contact with his mother and on a Friday went round to see her, did a bit of shopping and cleaning just to help out, 7 years later she left me £65,000 in her will and her son got £5,000, money does bring happiness :).
Image source: mich66, Getty Images/unsplash
#9
Company hired me as a contractor, then refused to pay. The next company I worked for, did some business with them, for quite a lot of money. A few weeks in, I went to have drinks with the COO and talked about how that company had stiffed me.
Turns out to be the last straw for the company to switch suppliers. The company that refused to pay me took a very big hit, got in trouble and had to sell itself to a competitor 2 years later.
All I did was tell the COO exactly what happened, so it wasn’t actually revenge. But man it felt good!
Image source: tauntology, Getty Images/unsplash
#10
Jerk ex moved out of my house after not lifting a finger for months, never once trying to do anything to make me happy, AND owing me money. Kept promising to pay me but never did – that’s what pissed me off most of all.
I thought, you want to be a slob, you got it. I knew from a friend who raised reptiles that you could order insects online, so I ordered a box of cockroaches (all age stages). I went to his house that night and put them all through a couple of windows that I knew would be partially open.
I never found out about the reaction, but I was only too happy to cause him at least a little of the trouble he’d caused me.
Image source: obviouslythrownhere, Sharon Waldron/unsplash
#11
I don’t know, I guess I was picked on a lot by older kids before high school and when I was in high school I started boxing and won a few fights, so these “tough guys” that picked on me when I was younger approached me trying to start a friendship and I turned them down. That felt pretty good.
Image source: anon, Chris Kendall/unsplash
#12
My parents told me when I was 4 years old, my older sister had thrown my new toy truck over the fence intentionally. My dad said he then watched me go into the fridge, grab my sisters cup of juice and mix it with ketchup, mayonnaise, salt, some banana that I had chewed up already, and a whole lot of spit.
After that my dad told me I walked into her room and handed her the cup and said (with the lisp i once had) “I forgive you sissy”.
Image source: jaffshmeh, City Church Christchurch/unsplash
#13
I’d been dating a guy for a little over a year when he decided to leave me for this girl he’d been passing off as his “best friend.” I was always suspicious that there was something between them but they both assured me there wasn’t. I was heartbroken. I’ve never quite been the same after that. Anyway, I slept with his best friend. That was the first time I’d had a smile on my face in months because I knew it would hurt him. And it did.
Image source: goobifer, Fellipe Ditadi/unsplash
#14
(Now Ex)Wife was cheating on me, threw me and the kids out. We had to move 6 hours away, when I drove back to get mine and the kids stuff, I caught her and her new b/f…well…you know. She had SWORN there was no one else (Yeah…right), I told her that when they left for work I was taking everything in the house, and I did, right down to the broom and vacuum cleaner, which made it hard to clean the cigarette ash stains out of the carpet and all the broken glasses off of the linoleum. Also…urinated in the milk.
Image source: infectiousloser, Dylan Ferreira/unsplash
#15
Thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of my ex-wife’s expensive shoes, clothing, and purses may or may not have mysteriously vanished. I may or may not have also kept quite a few of her belongings (kitchen stuff, etc) that may or may not have been hers.
This may or may not have had to do with the fact that she cheated on me for my entire marriage and I found out about it right before our court hearing. The above may or may not have been in my garage for storage while she was moving into her new house (with the boyfriend).
Some of her other belongings may or may not have been damaged in some small way. Or disappeared.
Image source: Hosni__Mubarak, Ahmed/unsplash
#16
One kid, Zach, in my high school spread a lot of lies about how I was jealous of him, his life, and his girlfriend, Emily. I wasn’t. He was overweight, broke, and his girlfriend was a plank. Still, it pissed me off. He didn’t know that I knew that he said all this stuff. I started convincing him that a girl named Brittany liked him. Brittany was the “go to” girl for every guy to like in my high school. Every guy wanted Brittany. After about 2 weeks of convincing him, he posts a bulletin on myspace (this was a long time ago) about how he is unsure of his feelings with Emily and wants to move on. Emily saw this and didn’t appreciate it very much. The next day, she confronted him, he told her that he loved her, she said no, they break up. Zach wasn’t sad, he still had Brittany. That night, I tell him that I messed with him this entire time because of what he did to me. He didn’t believe me, asked Brittany out, and got rejected. He cried. He went from having 2 girls to 0 in hours. I won.
Image source: ithinkyourmomlikesme, Yosi Prihantoro/unsplash
#17
Well this guy was able to convince my 16 year old sister to start a family and that her entire family is against her and how them two would end up in a story book ending. All the while he was messing around with any chick who would even want to get with him.
Well I waited until the end of the school year, which at the time was my senior year, to strike. I already knew a pretty bad security hole which granted anyone access to everyones network drives and I then proceeded to permanently delete all of his finals work just before finals week. I figured it would work since he was stupid enough to not ever have backups of anything.
Oh that sweet hit of revenge happened when I heard from some people that he ended up getting 0’s on all of his finals and the IT guys had no recovery.
TLDR: Jerk wrongs my sister, wiped all his finals work just before finals, profited.
Image source: macleod2486, Curated Lifestyle/unsplash
#18
Got my degree and wasn’t able to get a promotion at my current company. Let my boss know I was looking for a new job and handled the move professionally. Left on good terms.
Started my new job, at a significant bump in pay, and quickly discovered it was nothing like the DBA job I had interviewed for. Instead of managing databases I was expected to learn a proprietary coding language created by my new boss. There was no documentation and he treated everyone like an idiot if they asked questions while trying to learn. After 3 months I had a review. I was told I was doing great and given a raise.
I continued learning and persevering through my bosses mistreatment. 3 months later I was pulled into another meeting with my boss and his boss. I was told I wasn’t meeting expectations, although they wouldn’t explain how, and told to sign a document putting me into a lesser position at a significant cut in pay. If I didn’t sign I was told I would be fired. I signed and immediately started looking for another job.
I called up my old boss and asked for a reference. She told me she would do so happily, but I should know she had just submitted a job requisition for a new position that I would be perfect for. We discussed it and I agreed it would be a fit.
I went through the interview process and got the job at a higher salary than my new company had started me at. The only problem was that they couldn’t bring me on until January 1st (it was Oct). I said that was fine.
For the next three months I made sure to use all my vacation and did next to nothing while at work.
I scheduled vacation for the last week of the year. On the last business day of the year I came into the office handed in my laptop and a letter of resignation that was effective immediately. They were actually surprised that I was quitting.
Image source: dameon5, Sebastian Herrmann/unsplash
#19
I was the “victim” and I deserved it.
In high school, I learned that putting small amounts of phenolthalein into an acidic beverage, such as cola is undetectable, and will make the recipient’s urine bright red. I pulled this prank many times. It got to the point that my friends would shout “God dang it, Midzokacuda!” From the toilet.
I pulled the prank on my neighbor, a chemistry major at the University. He never said a word, but a week later, I urinated blue.
Good one.
Image source: midzokacuda, Janesca/unsplash
#20
I was in high school (using this as my disclaimer) and had a good friend with cystic fibrosis. I had grown up with him, and he was not supposed to live past 14 (he is 26 now :-)). A jerk at school got mad at him and told him to “just [pass away] already”. One of my best friends lived in her subdivision, so we knew where her house was. We went to a “sandwich shop chain” where the best friend worked and had them put together the nastiest concoction we could think of in a salad container (tuna, olives, roast beef juice, pickles, you know, the works) and went and threw it on her car. We also put a pro-choice bumper sticker on it (she was definitely pro-life). I can’t say it was my proudest moment, but it was hilarious at the time.
Image source: Magenethequeen, Jimmy Jiménez/unsplash
#21
My mother told me not to bother going back to college after dropping out at 20yo. I’m now a PhD and a tenure-track assistant professor at a major U.S. research university. Dunno if that’s exactly revenge, but it feels like it, and it feels great.
Image source: anon
#22
A “friend” of mine once had 9 yards worth of pea gravel delivered in front of an enemy’s driveway door. If you’ve ever shoveled gravel, you can begin to imagine what a pain this was.
Image source: uvaspina1
#23
Kid in my welding class takes my booth. I’m working on a project that I HAVE to have done at the end of the class period, and he took my booth. While he was off cooling his plate, I cranked the machine up to about 220 amps from 115. He got Arc Burn, ruined a plate and had to redo his assignment. I never felt bad, because he caused me to have to redo my assignment.
Image source: Penguin90125
#24
This one time, when I was about 15-16, I was about to walk inside my building, had just placed the keys in the lock, when, reflected in the door, I see two girls walking by behind me.
I can actually hear one of them say, as she points at me:
“Let’s talk to this guy.”
But then her friend goes:
“No, not him, he’s ugly. Let’s go.”
The girl that actually wanted to talk to me was cute and everything, man. So, not only did her friend [ruined it for me], but she also called me ugly. And that hurt.
I walk upstairs, walk into my place and then walk over to the balcony to see if I can spot the girls. They’re right across the street, talking to each other, and the [mean one] is being a bit loud and obnoxious. That did it for me.
I walk back into the kitchen, grab a slice of ham and *swoosh*, threw it at the girl. Direct hit. She had a total “WTH” look on her face which made me smile.
Of course, in retrospect, that was a stupid thing to do and I wouldn’t do it again.
**TL;DR – Ham her time.**
Image source: Coveiro
#25
It was actually against me… If that gives you any clue as to how justified and perfect it was.
When I was 4 and my brother was 6 we were on our way to my great-grandfather’s funeral. My parents stop at McDonalds and out of my brother’s small fry bag (the 4.5″ tall white bag of fries) he pulls an 11″ fry. Impossible right? We’re in the back seat. I see it. He yells to my parents to witness this awesome fry but before they can turn around I snatch it and eat it. He is upset. Whatever.
Cut to 12 years later.
Home after school. No parents. Friends hanging out in the kitchen. Everyone is scurrying around for an afterschool snack. My brother and I are at the table and our friends are in the other part of the kitchen. Out of this bag of Wavy Lays I pull a potato chip that is literally the size of my skull. No idea how this thing didn’t break in transit. I’m like, Oh my God! Guys, look at this chip! Before anyone can even turn their heads, my brother reaches across with his right hand and crushes the chip to crumbs. I have WTH eyes baring down on him and he simply says, “That’s for the fry.” 12 years had passed and we had never spoken about it but it took less than a second to remember everything and just nod in agreement that the score was settled. One enormous potato product for another.
True story.
Image source: imstillnotfunny
#26
When I was about 13/14, there was this kid on the school bus who was about a year older than me and used to pick on me a lot. He was a total arrogant jerk. One time he came and sat next to me and tried to pull the old “Hey, did you know if your hand is bigger than your face you have cancer?” (basically the idea is you get the person to then hold their hand right against their face, and then you hit their hand causing them to hit themselves in the face)
I wasn’t falling for it, so he puts his hand against his own face in order to try and show me what to do. What do I do? Turn his own prank against him and smack his hand into his face. His nose starts bleeding quite badly. God that felt good.
Image source: I_Am_The_Slime
#27
At my school we had a jerk who liked to stand next to his locker talking to one of his friends, and when someone got to close to it he’d slam it open into their face. As there were no cameras near this hallway, it was always dismissed as an accident.
Anyways, one day he felt the need to open it into my best friend’s face. Gave him a bloody nose and almost broke it. Now, as i’m sure you all would be, I was pissed off.
So the day my friend got back, the jerk felt the need to approach him to “apologize” about hitting my friend. Luckily, my locker was located between my friend and the other kid. When I saw I could do it, I casually unlocked my locker, waited for him to get close to it, and slammed it into him.
Broke his nose and dented the locker. Revenge is sweet.
Image source: LordWartusk
#28
I guess it’s not really revenge because I didn’t inflict this fate on this person, but this ex-popular girl who bullied me in middle and high school for having a scoliosis brace/being a fugly lesbian came into the credit union I work for to get help for her debts that she couldn’t afford to pay back. She was overweight, dressed [trashy], and financially [messed up].
I straightened my suit, took her into my office, and helped her with consolidation loans. I could tell she wanted me to say something about our past but I didn’t. Sometimes the best vengeance really is living better, and showing those people who hurt you that they are just a passing blow.
Image source: TheSixofSwords
#29
This kid picked on me since 1st grade. Then one day in 4th grade, the teacher had her back turned so he climbed under my table and started pulling faces at me (not sure why, he was kinda weird). It must have been a knee jerk reaction but his face was there and my foot was here so I kicked him. In the face.
Kid falls to ground shrieking while clutching his head. Teacher turns around and sees him out of his desk. Gives him detention.
Later that day, his face had swollen to the size of a volleyball and he had stopped crying long enough to tell the teacher what had happened. My teacher asked me if it was true and I said I felt something tugging on my shoe so I kicked, thinking it was caught on something. The teacher gave me a lollipop, saying be aware of my surroundings next time. The kid never bothered me again.
BEST DAY EVER.
Image source: neitherbecauseboth
#30
Lived in a rented house for 7 years next to a psychotic lawn worshiping lady. Hated us for renting, hated us for not having as much money as her. Made our lives hell. The night before we moved, loaded uhaul waiting patiently at the curb… I emptied 100$ worth of round up in nice [manhood] shaped patterns on her perfectly groomed lawn. Haven’t been back, never saw it, but I take comfort from her pain, as I perceive it.
Image source: cyb3rat
#31
My boss had a falling out with her boss and he (boss’ boss) decided he would destroy her and everything she cared about. This meant he was going to destroy me too, since my boss had done a lot to get me where I was. I didn’t get fired or officially demoted, but I was moved a few layers deeper on an organization chart and put into a job I used to do four years earlier.
I got angry for two days, then polished my resume and cast it across my large company. A month after it happened, I was flying to across the country to interview for the most prestigious R&D organization in my industry and three months after that I was watching someone load my stuff into a moving van. The evil-doer was fired two weeks after I started my new job (in the same company, very different division).
I never had to file a grievance, my silent determination to get out from under him was the loudest scream, and losing a very promising person made the company really look into him.
Image source: anon
#32
Not me, but my sister. My sister and I grew up in Kentucky, and after 20+ years of living here, she decided she was ready for something new in life, so she made plans to move to Washington state.
She made all the arrangements to move, packed all her things, etc. The only things she didn’t want to take were her two cats (She was just going to be staying in someones house until she could get a little money saved after the move), so she left them with one of her co-workers, that she had known/worked with for several years, until she could come back and get them.
Fast forward six months, my sister is living happily on the west coast. A mutual friend of all of ours(mine, my sister, her co-worker) sees said co-worker where my sister worked with him. Friend asks how everything is going, and asks how the cats are. While refusing to make eye contact, he tells our friend “One got out about a month ago, the other a week ago. Please don’t tell (insert my sisters name here)” So naturally the first thing our friend does is call my sister to tell her (obviously her co-worker hadn’t said anything to my sister). My sister calls me, super upset, because she (like a lot of Reddit) loves her cats, and begs me to try and find them. The only option was to try the Humane Society, so I called another friend of ours to take me. We go to the Humane Society, search the entire lost&found section, to no avail, so we search the adoption center. It seemed completely hopeless, but by some strange and awesome universal force, I approach THE LAST cage, to find one of her cats. Curious as to how he found his way here, I ask the people working there, and they politely inform me he was an “owner give up”. When I asked the date he was taken in, they tell me, and I figure out it was only one month after my sister had moved. So, I re-adopt her cat, call her to tell her, she breaks down in tears of joy, and I ask if she wants me to “do anything about it” (the kind of thing a brother does when someone [messes] with their sister), to which she tells me “No. Everything will work itself out”.
Fast forward another few months, and my sister has returned to Kentucky to pick up her cat. While in town, my sister, dad, and myself all go out to eat a family breakfast. Half way through our meal, I look over and see her old co-worker sitting in a booth across from an attractive young lady. I tell my sister, and she instantly becomes furious. My dad tells her not to do anything, but I tell her she has to. So, we give our dad a minute to leave, and as soon as he does, my sister grabs a plastic ketchup bottle, stands up, walks to his table, flips the cap open, and sprays him up and down his face and shirt, giving him only time for his voice to crack “OH MY GOD”. The entire restaurant had stopped what they were doing to watch all this go down, and everyone was completely silent, except the one guy in the back that couldn’t stop laughing. My sister finishes spraying the ketchup, throws the bottle in his face and just says “I know what you did.”
Now she is happily re-united with (one of) her cats.
Image source: cokamindtricks
#33
On a plane, guy in the seat in front of me–who I’d never met before–starts up a conversation that goes on for too long: at a certain point, he is standing up in the aisle to get closer, continuing to jabber on, while I am trying to be polite and listen. He continues for so long, that the flight attendant asks him to sit down, since he is blocking her cart and drinks service. He refuses–saying he is talking to his “friend” (i.e., me). At the end of the flight, he asks the flight attendant for her name, which she provides; he then says he’s going to report her to airline management, and file a complaint about her being “rude” to customers (i.e., him).
Shocked flight attendant asks him if she can get his name, saying it’s only fair, because he has hers. She asks him one or two times, then drops it, when the jerk refuses to identify himself. At the end of the flight, as passengers get off the plane, I fumble with my luggage, so as not to have to follow the jerk immediately off the plane. I find the aggrieved flight attendant–and hand her the jerk’s business card, which he had tried to give me earlier. She seemed relieved; I felt profound satisfaction.
Image source: Station51
#34
Ten gallons of cow feces right on their car. Not saying it was mature. But it felt nice.
Image source: drumfill
#35
I let the guy my girlfriend of two years was cheating with have her. She then went on to make his life miserable for two years. Then he stalked her for at least a year after she broke up with him.
So, by letting go of a cheater, both their lives were hell for at least three years….I think I won. :).
Image source: photoguy423
#36
In high school a friend of mine saws couple kids egg her car. One of them was the child of a school board member and one of the only doctors in town so he was a prominent person in town. We were trying to come up with some good revenge, slash his tires, key his car, but he was a spoiled so we knew his parents would pay for all of it. I came up with the idea to just straight up tattle on him to his mom. I went with her when she did, his mom called him out to the front door started screaming at him, he cried the mom gave her 100 dollars and made him wash her car while we watched.
Image source: radj06
#37
My girlfriend, at the time, had a boss who was always hitting on her. He would buy her things, flirt with her, etc. We hit a rough patch in our relationship, and he did everything in his power to win her from me. He was a VP at the company, so he had the money, and probably the smooth talking skills. She would bring him up in fights as a comparison. I got sick of it. Me and her ended our 3 year relationship and sure enough, they’re dating about a month later.
However…
He knew that the company was making her work overtime and not paying her, (and said “there’s nothing I could do about it” when she asked him), and he knew that she was having to take work home (which was a no-no since she was a lingerie designer), AND was helping her start her own line, which was a conflict of interest to his company.
Flashback to a few months earlier. Her company has a Christmas party, and I meet the CEO. I won’t say his name, but it was a name that I remembered for some reason.
Now, I was pissed. This jerk basically took my girlfriend from me. I know it was probably for the best because any girl that would fall for that shouldn’t be with me anyway. But I’m not thinking that way at the time. I have no ethical hangups about revenge, and it was time to get some.
I realized that her company e-mail address had a template. [First name].[last name]@[company].com. So I figured that the CEO’s e-mail address probably had the same format. With all the knowledge I had, it would be a shame *not* to blindly e-mail the CEO of his company with detailed information about how his VP was putting his company at risk by dating his employees, knowingly breaking employment laws, allowing sensitive materials out into the public, and start a rival company.
So that’s what I did.
I never got a response from the CEO, however, a couple years later I ran into my ex and had a couple of drinks with her. She told me about how bad of a boyfriend he was, how they fought all the time, and how she went off and *hit* him one night. (She got really close to hitting me a couple of times, but I calmly told her that if she laid a hand on me, I would hit her back harder than she could ever imagine, and would be happy to go to jail for it).
She also told me that the problems really started when he *lost his job*. I asked how that happened, and she told me that it was abrupt, but even he didn’t really know the reason. It was one of those HR-driven “we’re letting you go” type firings.
I told her what I did.
She was shocked and angry and left the bar without saying another word, but I didn’t [care]. Even the remote possibility that I was the reason why that jerk got fired, AND he got my girlfriend who hit him, made me feel like a million bucks. And I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Image source: CalvinDehaze
#38
I had an jerk of a boss. He was demoralizing and condescending. I worked in inventory control and my boss would hide discrepancies in a bogus location. I knew all about it and he would have me use it to adjust inventory.
Our client owned the inventory and one month they had corporate auditors grilling us. I stepped into the office they were working in and closed the door behind me. I then proceeded to tell them everything. I have them the bin location name and where it should physically exist. They continued the audit for a couple days and then nonchalantly asked my boss to verify that location. He turned to me and asked me to go verify. They interrupted and insisted he do the verification.
A month later he left the company to pursue other opportunities and I was promoted into his position. It was later said to me that the auditors were so impressed with my integrity that they insisted I manage the inventory.
Image source: sUpErLiGhT_
#39
One time a girl broke my brothers heart, she was a jerk (still is) and cheated on him. My brother broke it off but she still wanted to be with him, but that didn’t happen. So she then started dating the one other kid she hooked up with while with my brother. We all went to high school together, and at our school they do these valentines grams. So I bought one for her and wrote “Drop that zero and go with a hero” And I signed it from my brother. My brother then tells me she walks up to him all excited and hugs him and thanks him for the gram my brother being an jerk starts laughing and starts telling his friends who are also jerks. They all are laughing at her, she then walks away humiliated. Turns out that she had dumped the guy she was with to be with my brother again, ha that never happened. I regret nothing!
tl;dr No one messes with my brother.
Image source: anon
#40
I was working at a pizza joint. My mom’s former boss came in and ordered. I spat in the pizza because she was such a jerk to my mom.
Image source: heiberdee
#41
A friend of mine bragged all day and every day about how he had a teacher wrapped around his finger. He could do whatever he wanted.
He skipped one day. The teacher asked me privately where he was, because she assumed I may know, seeing as we were friends and all. I just shrugged and said, “He was here earlier, I don’t know why he isn’t here.” I didn’t rat him out, however, I knew this teacher would read between the lines.
She called his house on a Saturday morning. His parents ran into his room, woke him up, yelled at him, grounded him, and took his car for two weeks.
He still doesn’t know it was me, but he personally thanked me for not ratting him out and swore to exact revenge on whoever did.
Image source: HowlingMermaid
#42
Apparently when I was a kid my dad told me off for something trivial and my mum caught me sneaking 2 bananas that were going off and sneaking them in his workboots on a Friday evening.
He didn’t touch them again til the Monday right before he went work, when he stuck his feet in and rammed weekend matured banana deep into his boots, he nearly hit the roof and had to borrow a friend’s whilst I was already at school and was told this by mum a few years later.
Image source: GourangaPlusPlus
#43
This middle aged Spanish woman I worked with at a fast food was a complete jerk to me for no reason, and got the other women to join in. She would basically shove me, throw stuff at me, and was like an adult bully. Not to mention calling me a stupid American girl. I came home crying constantly. It might have been because guys in the kitchen harassed me to the point where they got fired two weeks after I got hired. They were all fired ASAP before I could complain and sue them, not for me. Now their “man candy” was gone.
Anyway months later of being the bigger person pissed me off. That lady had a stupid scarf she kept in her locker, so I stole it. Then I dumped it in the dirty water in the mop bucket that STUNK because of the vomit and men’s bathroom it just cleaned up.
I put on gloves and dunked that like an Oreo in milk, rang it out, and put it back in her locker. She wore it, and tears of glory were shed by me. I quit and flipped people off as I left shortly after.
Image source: lil-praying-mantis
#44
Once upon a time i had a fat 250 lb 6ft jamican female roommate. she would wake up at 3-4 am to cook food, which was fine but she would always set off the smoke alarm. she would also wear her winter boots and shoes in the house causing a disgusting mess never once cleaning it.
after asking her nicely several times she promptly told me to go [get lost]. In response i threw out all of her shoes and removed the microwave from the kitchen. It was satisfying.
Fun factor im 5.2 and was 117lb at that time.
Image source: anon
#45
Created an account just to answer this.
My ex broke up with me about a month after we signed a lease together. He stopped paying rent, or really for anything. Ate all the food, ran up the electricity bill, jerk moves like that. This continued for a few months. As I was getting ready to go out of town for a long weekend I finally found a way to get back a little. I ate all the food in the house (there wasn’t much). Changed the password on my computer so he couldn’t use it. Took the cables connecting the tv to the dvd player with me. Took my Wii system with me. Took my stereo with me. And, finally, took the toilet paper with me leaving only one little square left on the roll. He called about five minutes after I had left asking where everything was and why I would do that. I, gently, let him know if he had not been such a jerk and had contributed somewhat I wouldn’t have had to do this.
He moved out a week later.
Image source: EskiBean
#46
A few months ago I was at work, in a bakery. My supervisor totally messed me over, leaving me tons of work to get done and lots of cleanup with very limited time. He did things like this on the regular and would always say, “I’m sorry buddy, don’t get mad.”
Well on this day, it was no exception, he piled on the work and did his stupid “Don’t get mad” to which I replied “Don’t worry, I don’t get mad, I get even.”
Not but five minutes later I pulled a giant rack of muffins out of the oven too early and sank the middles. He just stared at me, I kinda laughed about it, played the stupid card and he couldn’t do anything about it.
Image source: anon
#47
Once, in first grade, I took off my shoe because I had a rock in it. Fo no reason other than this kid was a huge jerk, the class jerk stole it and took of running. I chase after him and he eventually throws my shoe down a hill into a field of tall grass and just looks at me with a huge grin.
In a stonecold firstgrade timbre I say: “Go find it”
and shove him down the hill into the grass after it.
He starts crying and we run to the teacher. After explaining what happened she made him go into the field and find my shoe. He crawled through the grass for about an hour before it finaly turned up.
Image source: Taln_Noro
#48
Bullied in elementary school, punched in the stomach in the locker room so no visible bruises, oh this bully had it down pat. One day after soccer when he hit me so hard in the head that I saw stars and the coach did nothing (“part of the game”), I snapped. The field was next to a rolling grassy hill sloping down to the parking lot. So I grabbed the bully’s wrist and leaped off the field. As we rolled down the hill I could feel little satisfying snaps from his arm and hear his little kid screams.
SO Satisfying.
Well since I wasn’t as smart in my revenge as the bully was in his mistreatment (did this in front of a team of witnesses), I got dragged to the principal’s office where I was told “only animals behave like that.” The bully had to wear a cast and sling, and since he was popular he got plenty of sympathizers to sign it and all that.
Doesn’t matter. Got Revenge. And best of all, he left me alone (although he could now openly call me out as “the spaz”) and my folks decided it was a good idea for me to switch schools after that year.
Tl:Dr- broke bully’s arm. Much joy.
Image source: anon
#49
Had a girlfriend for almost 2 years (pretty long relationship for 8-9th graders) she took me away from all of my friends and family making me only focus on her by convincing me that everyone hated me. I grew out my hair for her, wore ridiculous clothes, at one point wore eye liner because she thought it was “hot”. Got made fun of by everyone at school and was super depressed. weighed 100 pounds because I never ate and dropped out of all the sports that I loved. She cheated on me 3 times with the same guy and eventually I realized what she was doing and dumped her.
She told me she was pregnant and I instantly proved her a liar because of how she said she got the abortion and whatnot. She confessed. I told her I never wanted to talk to her again. I moved schools and ditched that part of my life
fast forward to last year. (I was 19 last year) She some how finds me on facebook and messages me. in the 8th grade she was skinny and pretty. Now? 200+ pounds, Ugly, done nothing with her life. Me? gained a bunch of weight (mostly muscle) from getting back into sports and now am a coach for a sport I love, kicked the depression and am as happy as can be. I did’t get “revenge” exactly, but I’d say karma got my revenge for me.
Image source: nanananana-batman
#50
My first serious boyfriend decided it would be a great idea to fool around with my then best friend. I played it cool and broke up with him and stopped talking to her. Lost basically all my supposed friends that year and ended up extremely depressed and bitter of course.
Ex-boyfriend’s mom called me over to their house and basically gave me everything and anything that I ever brought over there or gave him. Including a few pretty expensive decorative blades that were a gift. She said to me that her son was a total jerk and didn’t deserve to be on the same continent as me.
Almost 6 months later a coworker and I had a joy ride and egged former friend’s brand new car and put nasty balogna all over it. Her parents assumed it was me but couldn’t prove it.
Image source: nanaham_1
#51
Bf at the time cheated on me with best friend at the time and they began a relationship together after I dumped him and they moved in together in our hometown. I came home for the summer and got each of them to cheat on the other with me on separate occasions with minimal effort. I’m not sure if either of them knows about the other one cheating with me because I was satisfied without bragging.
I know people say two wrongs don’t make a right and now that I am older I probly wouldn’t do the same thing but at the time it felt like I won. They were miserable with eachother.
Image source: CUM_DUMPLING
#52
My former employers owe me $1,300 USD. (Their business failed due to their own incompetence)
Afterwards they had to get jobs of their own. They just dissolved their business and decided not to pay anyone for their final two weeks.
So I reported them to the department of labor and industries. Their paychecks are being garnished by 25% until all of us are paid.
It will take a while, but it feels good.
Image source: tokesie
#53
Not me but my father. He was working for an IT company developing software, but ended up being asked to help out in sales for a few weeks as their department was short staffed for some reason. He turned up and found that his new colleagues really didn’t like him, for no apparent reason (though he suspected it might be racism).
Within the first few days, he’d scored a few sales and his manager had actually offered him a job in sales, but he turned it down as he preferred having a set salary, rather than commission. The reason for his relative success was down to two factors:
1. Networking;
2. Several subscriptions to professional IT journals and magazines.
He had started by calling people he knew and then he started calling people he’d read about in magazines, while the rest of the department were apparently relying on cold calling. Furthermore, having helped write the software he was selling, he could actually explain what it did, while the rest of the department … well … they couldn’t.
At the beginning of his second week in the department, he took a long lunch break as he had to visit a dentist and got back to find a woman was being congratulated on her success making a big sale to a company he had planned on calling that very day. When he got to his desk, he noticed things weren’t as he’d left them and noticed a list of people and phone numbers he’d planned on calling had vanished. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what had happened while he was away. Rather than let it slide, he decided to get his revenge …
The next day, he made up an excuse to be out of the office in the late morning and early afternoon, spending his time back in the software department. When he returned this time, however, things were a lot more sour.
As before, he had left a list of potential customers on his desk and, as before, the woman had taken it off his desk while he was away and started making calls. The problem is that one of the phone numbers wasn’t for a company, but for the wife of her boss, who her boss was currently in the process of divorcing. And the name he had listed next to the number was the mistress of said boss, the reason they were getting divorced.
The boss wasn’t happy at all to get a phone call from his soon to be ex-wife’s lawyer, accusing him of getting his staff to harass her. She got fired, didn’t get any commission for the big sale she’d made the previous day and my dad ended up finalizing that sale in the end as he explained that, by shear coincidence, he had gone to university with the guy the woman was dealing with.
A few weeks later, she accused my dad of plotting and setting up the whole thing, but, by this time, he was back in his old position and the guy in charge of the sales department had no power over him.
Image source: anon
#54
When I was 15, my father and I had a fight about cleaning my room, and what was “acceptable levels of clean”… after hours of arguing, i decided to make brunch, as sort of a peace treaty (or so he thought)… i made eggs, toast and two sets of bacon… the perfect combination of chewy and crunchy for myself, and then the second batch. This batch was dry, crumbly and crunchy. of course, i served it to him with a smile,and ate mine across the table from him… the best part was the look on his face when he saw me sitting there eating the what he thought was horrible bacon with a huge smile on my face.
Image source: squnato21
#55
Well my ex was supportive, just in a horribly negative way. Always saying I couldn’t lose weight to fit into this red shirt I bought. She said my shoulders and chest were just too big, which admittedly, since the shirt barely buttoned, sure.
We break up and finally see her a year later at a burrito place. I’m wearing the shirt and it’s too big on me. That was 30 pounds ago.
Image source: christiandb
#56
I work retail.
This woman comes in to return a cellphone. She says she’s been to the news, they did a show on her, and she was told by head office that she can come in for a complete refund.
She is months past our 14 day return period. I let her know I’m sorry, but because we are a franchise location, we provide cannot warranty support. The return period is 14 days. The closest warranty is on this card I’m handing you.
She FREAKS OUT, calling me every 4 letter word she can think of.
I tell her I’m sorry and I move on to the next customer. She is honking and flapping at the customers in my store, going on about how her kid is in the hospital with cancer, etc.
She finally leaves. 10 minutes later her daughter comes in, I repeat the 14 day/warranty centre speech. She [swears] and leaves.
Fast forward a month, my boss calls me and says a woman will be in this afternoon by the name of XXXXXXX. Return it and give her full refund. I say ok.
4 days later she comes in and throws the phone on the counter with the receipt and says nothing at all. I do the refund. and I make the call to customer care to cancel the line.
Whelp. She decided it was time to leave because she has her money and I’m an inferior sack of skin wasting her time.
Customer care finally picks up and asks to verify the account and ask the customer a few questions. Because the customer has left, and cannot verify the account, the phone line cannot be cancelled.
I say thank you and hang up.
She’s gonna receive a letter in a couple months from collections because we cannot contact her any more :)
Image source: boostedjoose
#57
In high school, when I was about 15, I took horticulture as one of my electives. I teamed up with two other girls, and we worked really hard all year on making this amazing garden. When we were out there one day, planting some flowers, this group of guys turned up. They started trampling on the plants, and ripping them out of the ground. One of the girls started crying, but they just laughed and kept on being destructive.
Anyway, I got pissed off and told them, “Stop or I will hit you over the head with this spade.” Needless to say, they just laughed it off and continued to ruin our hard work.
When I walloped the first guy over the head, the others just stared in shock. So, with my second swing, I got two of them in one go. At this point the others just ran off to get a teacher.
When the teacher arrived, I explained how the guys had been tearing up the garden. And when the guys complained that I had attacked them with a spade, the teacher turned to me quizzically. I responded by smiling sweetly and shrugging my shoulders. The teacher turned to the group of guys and said, “I know you are lying. There is no way that this girl would do something like that.” the guys then got into trouble for destroying the garden AND making up ridiculous lies.
I enjoyed that moment, and had a hearty chuckle about it once the teacher left.
Image source: Yeisha
#58
When I turned 5 or 6, I got this really awesome Barbie set as a gift. It was like 4 dolls, they had sleeping bags that rolled into backpacks and had glow in the dark stars on them, there was a plastic fire with a log and a stump for sitting around said fire, a little tent, it was AWESOME, I was pumped. My little sister, for whatever reason, ripped the earrings out of my brand new Barbie. I think I cried. When I told my mom, she told me to pick one of my sister’s Barbies and do the same. So I picked her FAVORITE doll, who had little plastic dangly crystal shaped earrings that matched the crystal thing on her swimsuit, and I snapped them off. She was devastated, but she never did that again.
Image source: mamapanda13
#59
I have a sister that’s 5 years older than me, and I used to follow her around everywhere. One day she made me cry because she wouldn’t let me hang out with her and her friends.
My little 5 year old self decided to blow my nose in her pillow.
She cried.
Image source: purpleychick
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