When it comes to our loved ones, we want to do everything possible to celebrate their birthday and make them feel special. However, this definition of “special” is different for everyone, as some prefer a slow day, while others love to go all out and party hard.
This man belonged to the former category as he wanted a simple birthday, but his wife loved to socialize and went against his wishes. When he didn’t praise the big party that she threw, she was angry, which just escalated their argument. Read on to find out about the drama that followed!
More info: Reddit
Some people don’t realize that not everyone is into partying hard on their birthday, as they prefer the quiet life
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the poster’s wife asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he clearly told her that he just wanted a relaxed day
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
However, she went against his wishes and invited a few friends and family for a party, which the poster didn’t really appreciate
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She got upset that he didn’t praise her and burst into tears, but he stressed that he had told her he didn’t want this
Image credits: vinfox
She got extremely emotional because he didn’t appreciate her efforts, so she ended up accusing him of “ruining” his birthday
In today’s story, the original poster (OP) tells us about his wife, who can tend to be extremely emotional. On his birthday, she asked him what he wanted to do, and he clearly told her that he just wanted a quiet, slow day to chill and relax. Unlike him, she was someone who preferred parties, so she didn’t really understand the things that he wanted.
In the morning, she told him that she had invited people over, and when he sounded disappointed, she tried to justify it by claiming that it was “just a few people.” A couple of their friends and family showed up at noon. While it was a nice event, it just wasn’t what the birthday guy would have preferred, as it was pretty draining for him to be the center of attention.
Well, his wife was on edge while they were cleaning up that night, and asked him how his birthday was. Our guy just replied that it was nice and shrugged. Lo and behold, the woman burst into tears and accused him of not appreciating all the effort that she had taken to organize it. OP retorted that it was not such a big deal that she had to cry about it.
He even told her that he had been clear about what he wanted, but she was the one who went against his wishes and pulled something completely different. Well, this just made her more upset that he made her cry instead of appreciating her efforts. Ridiculously, their argument ended with her accusing him of “ruining” his birthday, but he didn’t want to apologize.
Image credits: TriangleProd / Freepik (not the actual photo)
To get deeper insight into the couple’s argument, Bored Panda got in touch with Eden Lobo, a counselor and psychology professor. She claimed that when a partner ignores a stated preference, especially for something as personal as a birthday, it creates a psychological ripple effect. Even when done with good intentions, it can be deeply destabilizing to the relationship, she added.
Our expert explained, “In a healthy relationship, a partner is supposed to be the one person who truly ‘gets’ you. However, when someone (like the husband in the story) is dismissed, they begin to feel unseen. Over time, they may stop sharing their true desires because they assume those desires will be ignored or corrected to fit the other person’s vision.”
Prof. Lobo also elaborated that while one instance is a mistake, a pattern of this behavior leads to resentment. The dismissed partner begins to tally every time their voice didn’t matter. Moreover, she claimed that resentment acts like acid on intimacy. It’s hard to feel romantic toward someone who you feel doesn’t respect your basic autonomy, she noted.
Lastly, Prof. Lobo advised, “To de-escalate the argument, the husband could acknowledge her intent without sacrificing his boundary. Validating her labor will lower her defenses, but he should stay firm that she trusts his requests over her own impulses. By separating her ‘good heart’ from her ‘bad execution,’ he can move the conversation from blame to future teamwork.”
Looks like the couple has a lot of talking that they need to do. What would you do in such a situation? Let us know in the comments below!
Netizens were dumbfounded by her tears and claimed that the self-centered lady completely made his day about herself
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