One of the strangest things about being a grown up is how convincingly adult everyone looks from a distance.
Someone gets a job promotion, regularly goes to the gym early in the morning, and we think, “Wow, they’ve really got it together.”
A friend buys new house and we imagine them walking around with a full blueprint of life.
But if you zoom in closely enough, you’ll find that most adults are simply winging it just like the rest of us, and failure is much more common than it might seem at first.
People online were recently asked to share the moments they realized an adult in front of them had absolutely no idea what they were doing — some of their answers are painfully relatable while others might just scare the bejesus out of you.
#1
My last boss opened a restaurant and then admitted she had never worked in one a day in her life. She lost basically all of her kitchen staff a year later.
Image source: dragonborne123, Getty Images
#2
I work in a blood center reference lab. One of my coworkers called patient results to a local hospital. The patient had an antibody called anti-Jka or Kidd A. This is one of what blood bankers call the common antigens. It is on every antibody identification panel and is absolutely covered in school and on the certification exam.
The hospital tech could not understand what she was saying, claimed to have no idea what she was talking about and said he had never heard of that antibody. Sometimes we get lab assistants on the phone when we call so she tried asking for the blood banker and he confirmed he was the only blood banker on duty. This man was in charge of transfusion for an entire 170 bed hospital. Absolutely terrifying. It’s so easy to end someone by giving them the wrong blood.
Image source: Zukazuk, Getty Images
#3
When I was a child, I hopped into the car with my grandma as we were supposed to go to a theme park. I didn’t realize I had never seen my grandma drive until we were on the road… I genuinely was scared for my life. The engine failed multiple times to her not being able to shift correctly. We stood in front of a green light for ages with cars honking behind us and her swearing and telling me she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t put her blinker on – or put it on too long – confusing other drivers. There was a lot of swearing. I remember I kept asking if we were close to the theme park already. I get sweaty writing this, tbh. We did arrive at the destination but it was difficult to have fun there, since I kept thinking about that we were going to have to get back some way. She wasn’t even that old, just a really really bad driver.
Image source: 40421, Rodrigo Araya
Growing up, we assume adults are intelligent because they do things with such confidence.
Parents give instructions like they have decades of certainty, while teachers hand out punishments with no hesitation — and that’s when we start to assume that confidence means knowledge.
But then we gradually might start to notice the little cracks — an uncle who confidently gives financial advice but is always borrowing money and never paying it back, or a neighbor who hands out health tips while constantly falling sick themselves.
The truth is most adults are no experts, they’re just humans doing their best with the information they have.
#4
I was working the drive thru at McDonald’s when a father asked what on the menu was suitable for newborns.
Image source: noggerthefriendo, Mike Mozart
#5
Doctor was removing pins from my wrist. He gave me a local which I was dubious about, but he was like, “No problem. You won’t feel a thing.” It was agonising because he had to force my tendons aside to get at the pins. AND as he fumblingly tried to get a grip on the pins (there were two) he kept muttering, “All it takes is a little bit of luck!”
If I had been a couple of years older I think I probably would’ve punched him out, but I was a kid and I trusted my doctor to do the right thing. That was over 50 years ago, and when I think back on it I still think, “That jerk!”.
Image source: Imightbeafanofthis, Vitaly Gariev
#6
I work as a cleaner in a nursing home. the nurses and care assistants were going to do a fire drill where they had to find the source of the “fire”, and clear out every room on one corridor. it was timed. i was asked by the director of nursing to act as one of the residents who doesn’t want to leave their room, and was specifically instructed to go into the bathroom of one of the bedrooms and close the door.
i waited for 20 minutes. i heard people come in and out of the room several times. i even shook the door handle to try to get their attention. not a single person checked the bathroom. the director of nursing later told me she herself stood behind the curtains in another room and it took them ages to notice her.
i dread the day there’s actually a fire here.
Image source: PigeonDoveRose, Patrick von der Wehd
A recent survey of UK adults found that a lot of people struggle with everyday adulting tasks like filing taxes, cooking from scratch, and fixing simple things around the home.
About 30% say they don’t know where to start when it comes to filing taxes and 23% don’t have a clue about basic life admin like understanding contracts.
“There’s a lot of uncertainty when it comes to adulthood and taking on ‘adult’ tasks for the first time can feel overwhelming, especially with the pressures of today’s modern society,” says money expert Charlie Evans.
#7
When I was 24 and working with children I had to write up a safeguarding report, the manager pulled me in the office and told me that I cant invent words on the form, i assured her that i had done no such thing and asked her to elaborate.
She pointed to the word “pensive” and told me she couldnt even pronounce it, had never seen it or heard of it before ergo I must have made it up.
I told her the definition. She wasnt having any of it
A little frustrated at this point I leaned over to the office PC to bring the word up on Google for her
She blocked me and ordered me to rewrite the whole thing.
I literally found another job and left within the month
She was English so no language barrier there apart from utter stupidity and willful ignorance.
Image source: anywineismywine, Valeriia Miller
#8
Broadly? Working any customer service/retail job. Having to deal with fully grown adults, both coworkers and customers alike, who couldn’t grasp the concept of “play stupid games, win stupid prizes” or “mess around and find out” made me scared for future generations.
Image source: wert989, Wonderlane
#9
My dad putting outlets into my neighbours kitchen when I was a kid. I suggested we turn the power off for the whole house, was told to shut up and not interfere. So I left him to it and went home. He came over half an hour later claiming he got an electric shock. He did not learn from that mistake.
Don’t mess with electrics. Get a professional…
Image source: Buttery_-_Balls, Karolina Grabowska
It’s been years since I graduated from high school, but from time to time I still wish they could have taught us actual life skills — such as filing taxes, how and where to invest money, or how to handle everyday crises without losing my mind.
That’s probably why “adulting” classes exist now.
Several universities including Michigan State University and the University of California, Riverside are trying to help equip young people with essential life skills.
JCI Santa Clarita, a non-profit organisation in California, literally lets people simulate adult life — they give you a fake salary, fake bills, and let you practice life without panicking.
#10
I remember watching a video where a firearms instructor was “teaching” a group of people while he had his finger on the trigger of his pistol. He fired the gun negligently but fortunately it was pointed toward the ceiling. Someone asked him “Did you mean to do that?” and the guy sheepishly said “yeah.”.
Image source: futanari_kaisa, René Ranisch
#11
When I worked at the Massachusetts State House as a nonprofit advocate.
We’d talk to politicians about really good initiatives, get their buy in for the good of their constituents, and then, when it came time to vote, they’d go vote the other way. When we came back to follow up why this vote was not what we discussed, they told us they forgot about the talking points/why they should support this Oral Health effort, or whatever.
Image source: fugensnot, tsyhun
#12
I saw the mom of my daughter’s friend spray Repel bug spray in her daughter’s hair because she had head lice. I freaked out by calmy told the woman that it could have a negative impact on her daughter’s health and that she should get proper anti lice shampoo from a pharmacy. The woman listened to me and washed the Repel out of her daughter’s hair so fortunately she didn’t become ill.
Image source: Pormorpor, freepik
A spokesperson for Michigan State University’s Adulting 101 programs says their main goal is to give teens and young adults simple and practical information to help them handle everyday adult responsibilities in a better way.
“We try to focus on practical life skills often not taught in traditional classes. We have found some of the most popular classes relate to financial literacy: credit, investing, banking, and budgeting.”
“Since this program started in 2019, we have had an amazing attendance overall ranging from 50 to 1000 attendees each session,” he adds.
#13
Watching my dentist pause mid procedure, stare at my X-ray for a solid 30 seconds, then mutter “huh, that’s… interesting” before picking up the drill again. I asked what was interesting. He goes “oh don’t worry about it” with the LEAST reassuring smile I’ve ever seen. Anyway, I have a new dentist now.
Image source: Popular_Giraffe_4579, DC Studio
#14
A mechanical engineer who didn’t know how to restart a computer.
Image source: RedShirtDecoy, Yuriy Vertikov
#15
I mean.. *Gestures around broadly.
Image source: nomelonnolemon, asier_relampagoestudio
At Canada’s University of Waterloo, they’ve launched “Adulting 101,” a free online resource that teaches students budgeting, grocery shopping, career prep — in general they learn how to do life.
“The campaign encourages students to prioritize their mental and physical health, take on new responsibilities, and explore opportunities for personal growth. It serves as a creative and engaging way to connect students with existing campus supports and resources,” a spokesperson for the University of Waterloo tells Newsweek.
#16
I was working at a gas station. This guy comes in and says his pump isn’t working. I glance at the screen and see the pump is active, so I say “it says you’re pumping. I don’t know what’s wrong. Maybe try hanging it up and try again?” He comes back a minute later and says it’s still not working. I go out, and he has the Diesel nozzle in his car, and he’s trying to pump regular unleaded. Without saying a word, I switch the nozzles, slap the 87 and just walk away shaking my head
Yes, I know he shouldn’t have been able to fit the diesel nozzle in his car. He did. Don’t ask me how. Yes, I know the diesel and unleaded are different color nozzles and buttons. He had the diesel in his car and was pushing the 87 going “see? It’s now working”. Like, the little light on the diesel button was flashing, but he was just too stupid. He probably should have never been given a license with how stupid he was acting.
And no, he wasn’t drunk. Just unbelievably stupid.
Image source: Osmo250, Getty Images
#17
Not to me, but to my sister.
Someone at her work ended up digitally stalking her. To the point where he knew all the last names she ever went by. He would tell her he “had connections” and would brag about the information he collected about her without her knowledge. She was trying to tell me about it at work before going to management. During that time, a coworker who knew this stalker personally overheard the conversation and went **directly to him** and told him my sister was about to go to management over his cyber stalking. And then she was so blindsidedly confused as to why it was bothering my sister, claiming he does this type of thing when he likes someone.
Image source: tacoslave420, Jonas Leupe
#18
Me after my first was born.
The hospital did everything and walked you through everything the day or two you are there. Super careful, security on the maternity ward, everything.
Then you check out, they walk you out the door, and ate like “ok, bye”.
I mean, I knew everything we needed to do, but there was a moment there that I was just stunned, like, Dude, you’re trusting me with a baby?
Image source: A_Filthy_Mind, Wesley Tingey
Many of us grow up thinking that once we’re a certain age, we’ll magically have it all figured out — but the truth is, being an adult is a lot harder than it looks, and nobody really teaches you how.
Research shows that there is something called as “invisible load” that makes daily life harder than it looks.
Some of the examples of mental invisible load include organizing tasks, household responsibilities, childcare and scheduling appointments — these can increase everyday stress and fatigue for a lot of people.
#19
The first time I realized this, I was in my 20s. I had kept convincing myself that I was still young enough to be reasonably stupid.
At some point, it sorta clicked. I can’t give a specific example. It was like slowly understanding the Santa Thing, but with real people.
Now, when younger people bring that kind of topic up to me, I am honest. Nobody can be sure about anything. Don’t get discouraged, all we can do is try.
Image source: littlewing2733, Milles Studio
#20
I’m going to to get hate for this. But I work in mental health with families, which means I regularly have to have meetings with social workers in child protection, health visitors, midwives etc…Seeing how they behave and the things they do in their professions has made me think this many a time. Downright negligence like 80% of the time, but there’s an arrogance that often goes with it. If people really knew how these professionals behaved behind the scenes there would be public outrage. They have a huge responsibility for the lives of so many people and for many of them, I have to wonder how they even managed to get the qualifications or the job.
Image source: Smokingtheherb, Vitaly Gariev
#21
I walked into this random barbershop and the guy there says “yeah the barber isn’t here yet but I can also cut your hair.”
Me: “do you know how to cut hair?”
Him: “yeah totally!”
I sit down, he starts working on my hair and it’s super obvious he has no idea what he’s doing.
Never been so scared in my life! Thought I’d leave there half bald and have to wear a beanie for the next six weeks.
I was giving him instructions like we’re trying to disarm a explosive together. Worst thing was I needed to catch a train in less than 30 minutes. But somehow, I left the barbershop looking only slightly worse than when I entered.
Image source: SummerTeaLeaves, Getty Images
Adulting doesn’t have to be a solo struggle.
There are many ways you can ask for help — guidance from mentors, sharing responsibilities, and learning from peers can make you feel more confident managing everyday life.
Even informal communities, like online forums, local workshops, or social groups, give adults a safe space to ask questions and pick up practical skills.
If you don’t know how to cook, simply join a cooking class. If you don’t know how to tread the emotional challenges of life, consider going to therapy or counselling sessions.
In many ways, adulting is less about having all the answers and more about trying to learn new things and becoming a better human.
#22
I was in the hospital for an MRI. I had an anaphylactic reaction to ct scan dye the previous week, so I was terrified of this new test. I was quietly panicking but trying not to show it.
The nurse struggled to put in the IV. I asked for another nurse and when she came she said, “Oh, you have a PITA” and, I think deliberately, jabbed me painfully as she worked over my arm.
That was the moment I realized I shouldn’t expect anything from someone because of their profession. Just because they were a nurse or doctor it didn’t automatically provide them with compassion. Just because they were a policeman didn’t guarantee that they were calm and cool in a crisis, just because they were a politician didn’t mean they were working for the public good or even their own best interests.
Image source: darkest_irish_lass, National Cancer Institute
#23
Friday January 20th 2017.
Image source: Greygor, Brandon Mowinkel
#24
I remember the exact moment and it changed everything for me.
I was probably 5 or 6 and I was playing with a few other kids away from our parents while my brother’s soccer practice was going on.
All the sudden my nose started bleeding! Like a lot! It had never happened to me before…so I just went back to where my parents were. I think my dad saw me coming with blood running down my face so he came jogging up, alarmed. I said my nose started bleeding! He said, “Who hit you?” I was like…uh nobody it just started bleeding. Then he said, “Don’t lie to me. Tell me who hit you.”
I knew I wasn’t lying. I also knew we got spankings for telling lies. And I knew I couldn’t prove anything. I felt totally trapped and powerless. I don’t remember the rest of what happened.
But I do remember realizing I couldn’t trust my dad with my problems or I wouldn’t be believed. I had periodic heavy nosebleeds for years—a couple times a year—clear through to middle school. I never told anyone or asked for help. Eventually they went away.
Image source: SoManyShades, Getty Images
#25
In 1999 my high school health teacher said you could get AIDS from bobbing for apples.
Even then, at 17, I was like ‘there is a lot you can catch from saliva…but HIV isn’t one of them.’.
Image source: Umlautless, Dark Dwarf
#26
In high school, riding the bus home we had a substitute driver apologize saying “sorry if the ride is a little bumpy, but I can’t quite reach the pedals”.
It’s one thing to stumble into a situation where you’re entirely unprepared, but it’s a rare breed who openly admits to a bus full of kids that they’re putting their safety at risk.
Image source: timtucker_com
#27
I asked my doctor a question. He googled it – which is fine, he normally pulls up a paper or a credible official source to show me – and he mindlessly started reading the AI summary aloud.
Image source: anonbcwork
#28
Working in a university and interacting with some of the admin staff… there’s no depth of comprehension beyond following steps they learned by rote.
Image source: ntermation
#29
Surely you have been watching the news, yeah?
Image source: Crapola_9
#30
Had a roommate one summer at college from India. He had just gotten his drivers license and a car, and said “let’s go see XYZ!” Another roommate and I said “sure”… How the hell he passed his drivers exam we’ll never know. How the hell we got there and back without damage we’ll never know. One thing we did know was that we were never going to get in that car again.
Image source: TriumphDaWonderPooch
#31
When my doctor Googled my symptoms right in front of me. I mean I appreciate the honesty but also…yikes.
Image source: Proud_yoyojuly_7788
#32
Not quite adults, maybe. But when I attended my brother’s Navy Nuclear school graduation, I was a bit concerned. Especially realizing that the same kind of idiots were probably in every major Navy in the world.
Image source: PuzzleheadedPitch420
#33
Everyday since i turned around 18.
Image source: -quortex
#34
Not really ‘scared’ in the normal sense, but…
I coach kids soccer. When I was young, I played at a relatively high level, but I’m buy no means anything special in that regard. Well, there was this other coach who was always harsh with the kids, pushing them to drive harder, move faster, think more strategically. Keep in mind, these are young kids. The advice is generally sound… when dealing with higher tier players or adults, but that’s not what this was.
His methods were intense, and he chastised kids when they didn’t play like he wanted. More than once he got into shouting matches with other coaches. He’d use all the right words to explain things, and so people would defer to him occasionally… maybe just because of his aggressive personality, or bravado. Unsure.
Anyways, one day I’m dropping my son off at his practice and he’s there. We know each other as acquaintances, and by name, but don’t really chat much outside of that, but we strike up a conversation, mostly about soccer and how some of the teams are doing, the world cup. That sort of thing.
He has a soccer ball and asks if I want to kick around while we wait for the practice to end. I say sure, and head to three other side.
On his first kick I knew. I knew this man, who was so intense, who was adamant on the kids playing a certain style, with odd formations, who knew all the names for all the fancy tricks… this guy had never in his life kicked a ball in a competitive game.
I’m not talking high level. I’m talking… he would not have made the cut to his own kid’s team using his own standards.
I wasn’t that far away, but his passes never made it to me once. I ended up closing the gap and feeding him easy balls while he returned trash.
You always hear about this, but this was the first time it was so plainly clear that someone who talked so much about the sport really hasn’t played it much.
A lesson, I suppose.
Image source: xzieus
#35
I worked with a guy who was homeschooled a few years ago, for religious reasons. He was completely clueless. The weird thing was that he didn’t even know everything in the Bible, totally unaware of “the juicy stuff” and the parts that contradict the others.
Image source: stateofyou
#36
When I was about 9 my previously atheist parents decided to try going to church, and dragged me and my brother along.
I have a clear memory of sitting in a pew and listening to the minister talking about Jesus walking in water, and it slowly dawning on me that all the adults in the room believed this and I was in a room full of crazy people. Really unnerved me.
Image source: maybenomaybe
#37
People in positions of authority who would rather be the winner than be correct. So going all in on an argument.
Image source: Suitable_cataclysm
#38
Seeing the parenting skills of my parents.
Image source: whaazoo-maiyozi
#39
As a child, watching my parents transform into someone else while convincing another adult that they know what the hell they are talking about.
Image source: beer-glorious-beer
#40
I really don’t think anyone knows what they’re doing. All the world’s a stage.
Image source: swheat7
#41
Seriously – not just parents.
Every.
Single.
Person.
Image source: Key-Philosopher-8050
#42
This morning when I woke up.
Image source: CopingAdult
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