The people you’ll read about here are, as the Irish or the Scots would put it, eejits. To paraphrase Kirk Lazarus from Tropic Thunder, morons. Imbeciles. The dumbest folks that ever lived. Well, maybe not that harsh, but they have one thing in common: they all gave somebody else the impression that they’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
In a recent thread online, one netizen asked: “What’s your funniest ‘Oh god this person’s an idiot’ moment?” For some, it was a customer at a meat shop who thought that boneless chicken meant the bird didn’t have bones, too. Others experienced their moments with “an idiot” at work or even with extended family members.
Were these mmoments just brain farts or real representations of their brain capacity? We’ll never know, but for now, we can at least laugh at these funny moments and hope we don’t have to deal with something similar.
#1
My husband used to work at a meat shop. He had a lady come in and ask about chicken. He started the spiel well what kind of chicken is she looking for? Bone in or boneless? She gets a look of horror and asks if that is humane? Like, was it ethical to raise chickens without bones….
Image source: Ad_Vomitus, fabrikasimf
#2
My friend asked how she could be sure she was the mother of her baby because he cheated on her just as she got pregnant.
Image source: Western-Cicada-6195, New Africa
#3
I know a guy who teaches general science at the high school level. He told me he doesn’t wear a seatbelt because, in the event of an accident, he wants to be “thrown safely from the car”.
All these years later, I still can’t even parse that sentence. My brain flatly refuses to even try to make sense of it.
Image source: Rachel_Silver, freepik
#4
I severed off my thumb with a gas-powered log splitter and a coworker asked if it would grow back. I thought she was joking at first. She. Was. Not.
Image source: JeanneStJames, grnsl2
#5
When I was 18 I was chatting with the service desk person at my job at a grocery store and somehow whales were brought up, and she called them fish. I said no, whales are mammals. She said no, mammals are like rats and deer. I said no, people, whales, dolphins, rats and deer are all mammals. She then got SUPER offended that I said Humans were mammals. Apparently humans just defy categorization. We’re not mammals, cus mammals are animals, and people aren’t animals, we’re people.
The older lady listening just touched my shoulder and said “drop it kid, you can’t argue with… This”. I laughed and walked away.
Image source: Cespenar, DC Studio
#6
My sisters ex husband wasn’t a smart man but the day he started talking about how the sun goes in the earth at night to sleep got me. At first I thought he was trolling so I asked a couple of follow ups and he answered them as well as he could. “Where does it go in the earth” him “it’s in the ocean where nobody has gone yet”.
Image source: The_time_it_takes, wirestock
#7
When a parent was reluctant to feed her baby enough formula (baby was literally a mess all the time due to being hungry), because she was worried that the baby would get fat…. It’s a BABY, it’s SUPPOSED to be fat 😂
The things I see working in childcare.
Image source: Fabulous-Teaching889, freepik
#8
Overheard a conversation between a customer and their hairdresser. They were talking about sporting bets and horse racing. Suddenly the hairdresser went “wait a minute. Given the different time zones and how in the US it is only morning when it is afternoon in our area already: couldn’t we just call them and tell them the race results so they can place the bets for us?” I was very glad I was not the customer that had to explain how timeszones worked to her.
Image source: GrouchyMary9132, yurkovskat
#9
Religious coworker showed me a video of a baby with chicken wings attached to its back and he believed it was a real angel. So I pulled up a pic of Van Halens 1984 album, told me that angel smoking the cigarette was fake.
Image source: Sleepy_McSleepyhead, Yan Krukau
#10
Worked in a shoe store during college. One co-worker was an old military guy and I enjoyed having conversations with him about political theory and stuff I learned. Another co-worker was a very kind girl about my age who’d dropped out of high school.
One day I was having a conversation about the Chinese Communist Party with the old guy and she suddenly says, “They eat people in China?!”.
Image source: Background-Ad-8316, odua
#11
I was at a wedding reception, toward the end of it. Another person went over to an ice sculpture, touched it and said, “Wow, it’s still cold!”
Image source: graptemys, ice-agency
#12
Lady I knew marked the occasion of her son passing his driving test by posting a picture of his full license on FaceBook.
There were a few comments from relatives suggesting this might not be a good idea, and she was doubling down on “celebrating” her boy “growing up”.
Growing up into three or four different people who just stole the poor kid’s identity, more like.
Image source: catschimeras, Dom J
#13
I had a supervisor who asked me to take a look at one of the phone displays. She said she plugged it in but nothing is working. She plugged the power strip into itself.
Image source: Jenghrick, rikia
#14
High school band took a trip to Hawaii to March in a parade. Someone asked if we would take a bus to get there.
Image source: Several-Assistant-51, Karsten Winegeart
#15
My ex saw one of those joke memes on Facebook about saving time by boiling water in advance and then freezing it.
He asked me if it was legit.
Image source: ClaimedBeauty, Markus Winkler
#16
My mom lived in a mountain community known for brave wildlife that comes into the town. She sent me a picture once of a bear on her back porch. My coworker asked me if she went out to pet it.
No, my mom did not go pet the wild bear!!
Image source: KellyAnn3106
#17
I once had to explain to someone that zebras are not just horses with stripes, and that wild (not domesticated) horses do in fact exist. They were confused why more people didn’t ride them in shows/competitions because they’re the same thing “just prettier”.
Image source: mistaken-potato
#18
A worker in the company I used to work for asked me if I could fax a few documents for her. I said, “Sure,just leave them here, and I will fax them when I get a chance. Later, she came back, and I handed her the documents and said, “All done.
She looked at me and said, “You didn’t fax them, and I replied yes I did and I showed her the confirmation. She said, “Why do you still have the papers
I was baffled and said, “Do you actually think when you fax something the paper teleports into the destination. Let’s just build a huge fax machine, and I’ll fax myself to Europe for a nice vacation.
Image source: Lost-Meeting-9477
#19
Had a friend ask why I couldn’t eat ducks as a vegetarian. He thought they were fish, since they lived in the water. I informed him that even if that were anywhere close to the truth, fish are also animals.
I thought smoke was going to start coming out of his ears from how much that hurt his brain.
Image source: GrungeDuTerroir
#20
My former chiropractor had a plastic skeleton hanging in his exam room (full size). He said some fundamentalist people were looking at it, wondering if it was a male or female skeleton. One of them decided it was female, because otherwise “it would be missing one rib.”
Image source: No_Difficulty_9365
#21
Went on a cultural exchange trip to our city’s “sister city” in Russia. It was with a group of HS aged kids from my city, about 15 of us for 6 weeks. Our group had kids from several High Schools (public and private) aged 14-18. I was the youngest in the group having just turned 14. Our trip started with a stop in Moscow to tour the city before flying deep into central Russia to live with host families. This was back when you could view Vladimir Lenin’s entombed body at the Kremlin (very early in the post-Soviet Russia). As we were walking to see Lenin and our guide was talking I hear the three older girls from the (prestigious) private catholic school in our town say “I didn’t know the Beatles were Russian I totally thought they were from Europe or something….” The HS history teacher who was one of our chaperones almost keeled over when I told him what they said. Needless to say they were pretty confused when we finally saw Vladamir Lenin and not John Lennon. That’s expensive high quality private education for you.
Image source: Last_Voice_4478
#22
I had a coworker (a teacher) lamenting about how her two little girls were so difficult to get them to go to sleep. I asked her if she ever tried melatonin.
She said, “ No, they already have that because of their dad.”
Her husband is black. She thought melanin was the same thing as melatonin.
Image source: lugasamom
#23
My boss checked the Google satellite image of her house to see if her crazy boyfriend was there.
Image source: Scamalama
#24
Friend worked in a jail and was answering the phone at the front desk.
Friend: “Hello, (local jail), how can I help you?”
Caller: “Yeah, I gotta see if my baby daddy’s in there.”
Friend: “What’s his name?”
Caller: “T-Dawg.”
Friend: “…his legal name?”
The caller had no idea. Reproducing with this dude and didn’t even know what his actual name was.
Image source: ArtisticBee6176
#25
Had to interrupt a coworker who was telling another coworker that when a parachutist opens their chute they go up. Had to explain it was the camera still going down that makes it look that way. He looked at me like I had two heads.
Image source: Wstockton
#26
I was in tech school for the Air Force in 2002. We would go to the library to get online and see if we had assignments. My buddy went first, headed to AZ. I open mine and it says AK. He’s like oh sweet! Arkansas! I was like dude, AK is Alaska. He said oh, at least it’s warm there. I responded what you talking about and he seriously told me it’s over by Hawaii…
Image source: Hogchief
#27
I used to run an irrigation department of a landscaping company. The owner hired this dude, we will call him Chad. Chad was really dumb, I mean really an idiot. I had pulled pipe at a job and we were ready to dig up the pit to set in some valves. Knowing Chad as I did, I painted the ground with marker paint where I wanted him to dig. I showed him where to dig, I expressly told him to dig up the painted area and only the painted area. I left the job to take care of a service job and returned in about an hour. Chad had not dug up the painted area, in fact he was digging 10 feet away from the fully intact paint. I asked him what he is doing and he said he was digging up the pipe…there was no pipe where he was digging.
Image source: Gostaverling
#28
I have a friend who thought that vodka was mined. Like dug out of the ground.
Image source: Keasbyjones
#29
He claimed to be one of the 2 most intelligent men in the world.
Image source: Whoisanaughtyboy
#30
Several years ago, a new guy got hired, first day he parked beside me at work. He had 2 of those driving map devices like garmen mounted on his dash. Asked him why he had 2 of them, he said he uses one to get from his house to work and the other to get from work back to his house.
Image source: Old-Chocolate-5830
#31
I was at a high school graduation party, and the very attractive older brother of one of my classmates was hanging out. I had developed a massive crush on this guy when I was a sophomore and he was a senior-he drove an old El Camino and was just the right amount of disaffected.
Someone asked him how tall he was. He answered, “I don’t know, I’m about five twelve I guess.”
I still made out with him, but the victory was a little less sweet.
Image source: Admirable_Try_1209
#32
Watching the news roll in about the Boxing Day Tsunami with my best friend and his fiancé and she looks at him and says “Where is Tsunami?”. He called off the engagement like six months later and said he just couldn’t spend the rest of his life day in and day out with someone so dumb, because she was just really dense about every little thing, and he was consistently having to explain the most mundane things to her.
Image source: Alliekat1282
#33
Managed a small retail store circa 2006. We were hiring and advertised a liberal employee discount as an incentive. Old lady came in to yell at me for not offering the same discount to conservatives.
Image source: tarps_and-straps
#34
Heard a coworker scolding someone for eating a can of tuna because “you don’t know what’s in it”. I asked her what that meant and she said “tuna means a group of fish”. I asked her whether she meant a school of fish and she just stood there looking at me like her brain was rebooting.
Image source: GawnForGood
#35
Used to work for a pizza delivery company, had a lady call up in the middle of the day asking to order a pizza for delivery.
She was a new customer which means we didn’t have an address on file, so I asked for the address and her response was, “I’m not going to tell you.”
So I pause for a moment because this is certainly a first for me, so I ask her, “How are we supposed to deliver to you if you won’t tell us what your address is?”
She responds, “Well, I don’t know what the address is.”
So I pause again for a moment and repeat myself, “Ma’am, how are we supposed to bring you pizza if you don’t know where you are?”
She says, “So you won’t take my order?”
“Not without an address to deliver to, no.”
“Then I guess I’ll order from somewhere else!”
And I said bet, “I guess you will!” and hung up on her. She didn’t sound drunk, or senile, and didn’t seem like a prank call. But definitely never had a call quite like that one lol.
Image source: RebekkaKat1990
#36
I went on a date with a guy.
We order chicken wings, they came out and they were undercooked. I stopped immediately, “stop eating these, they’re raw.”
He looked at me, perplexed. “So?”
I look at him, perplexed, “you can’t eat chicken raw, it will make you sick.”
Him, “it’s just rare, you’re over reacting.”
I flag the server and kindly let them know. They see the chicken and profusely apologise making some more.
The guy, “you should have specified you wanted well done instead of rare then…”
That was the last date.
Image source: wanderlustcub
#37
A few years ago now, there was a relatively famous April Fools prank in the UK. Basically, someone made a film about the ‘annual pasta harvest in Switzerland’ and it ran on the main channels. Good harmless fun, right? Obviously fake, right??
Cut to me talking to the person I’ve been dating for a few weeks about what we should grab to eat, and them trotting out this ‘fun fact’, that pasta grows on trees.
I spent the rest of the relationship randomly asking which type of tree produced which shape, if different shapes came from different countries, etc.
Grown adult man. Brain smoother than George Clooney on a press junket…
Image source: hippogrifferential
#38
Girl that used to work with us was thoroughly and adamantly convinced that she could survive a tsunami by simply diving under the wave and that it was just that simple. She thought that all those people the tsunamis in Indonesia and Japan were idiots for not thinking of that.
Image source: KamikazeMizZ
#39
Recently got into it with someone who was a MAGA “obey authority” type. He said that in Texas they have always obeyed the law. When pointed out that Texas had not once but twice taken up arms against their own government, he didn’t know what I meant. That’s when I realized I was wasting my time.
Image source: a_sentient_cicada
#40
An episode where the idiot was actually me. I was buying some books on the flea market and it turned out this seller had some more books at home. We wanted to exchange numbers so i gave him my number and said to call me back so i would save his. Moment he called, i sad: just a sec, somebody’s calling me, i have to take it. The guys’ face…:)))
I explain it to myself it was a reflex.
Image source: gpilat
#41
I had a hairdresser tell me that she doesn’t microwave water for tea because it takes the oxygen out of the water.
Image source: silverlakekaren
#42
A colleague – teacher – asked if it was the earth that revolved around the sun or the sun around the earth. She couldn’t remember.
Image source: cielvanille
#43
Two of my coworkers were walking to their cars after a shift one afternoon, and one looks up at the moon and says “I wonder what planet that is.” Other coworker says “Really, don’t… say that to anyone else.”.
Image source: AnyLastWordsDoodle
#44
Waaaaay back when they were in high school, my husband and a friend of his decided it would be hilarious fun to paint a big statue that stood in front of the school.
After they finished their masterpiece, they wanted to make sure their friends knew they were the ones who’d done it……so they signed their names. They were SHOCKED at how quickly the school administration figured out who the artists were.
Image source: BellaDingDong
#45
Coworker at a bowling alley when I was 17- same ages:
“Do you butter the toast before or after you put it in the toaster?”.
Image source: KIDH2123
#46
I don’t remember how it came up, but a friend of mine was once asked “Where do you think milk comes from?” His response was “I don’t know… horses?”
This guy also constantly lost his wallet, phone, and keys in different places. He got himself locked out of his apartment and car on multiple occasions.
One time, he was in a building after everyone else had left. The building was locked and as he was trying to leave he set off all the alarms. He called one of our mutual friends in a panic (instead of the person who locks up that building, who we all also know). We joked that after having lost all of his important things at one time or another in that building, he finally graduated to losing himself there.
Image source: Redcole111
#47
My teenager just came to me two days ago and told me his iPhone wouldn’t charge. After much prying of information I find out that he tried to clean the lightning port out with a nail file. We will be scratching off rocket scientist and astronaut from the list of career options, probably some others as well.
Image source: ilikespicysoup
#48
Former McDs coworker from my high school days. The manager mentioned that our sidewalk was icy and needed to be salted, dumb coworker volunteered for the job and proceeded to grab a bunch of salt packets and asked “Do you think this will be enough?”.
Image source: Tia_Baggs
#49
I got a hysterectomy and my aunt asked me if I could still have children. My aunt who had also had a hysterectomy a few years before me.
Image source: Specialist_Air2158
#50
I’ve met two separate people in my little town who refuse to drink any type of water. One lady claims she’s never had a single cup her whole life and just drinks coffee or juice. It was no use telling her those have water in it. And a man who was every bit of unhealthy looking. He was super offended when I offered him a free water bottle. He literally yelled “HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT WATER DOES TO METAL?!?! IMAGINE WHAT ITS DOING TO YOUR INSIDES!” Okay well I’m sorry sir. I didn’t realize I was talking to a cyborg.
Image source: badAbabe
#51
I got t boned sitting in a turn lane. By a idiot going the same direction. It seems he planned to follow the car ahead of him though a yellow light. He sped up she didn’t she stopped he steered right into me at an estimated 45 to 50 mph. Moved me 5 feet sideways and bent the frame in fact the backseat got bent. As he was explaining this the cop looked at me and we both rolled our eyes.
Image source: brothercuriousrat2
#52
I was at a funeral when someone standing next to me started talking about Area 51 and what did I think about that. I ummed and hemmed and hawed and said I don’t really know, then moved away as quickly afterwards as I possibly could. They pursued, asking me about crisis actors and Qanon garbage and I had to say I think all of this stuff is a hoax/big bunch of nothing, now excuse me please I need to go pay my respects.
It was my husband’s cousin, so it was kind of hard to push back very hard in public like that—and it was the very first time I had ever met them. But, I think my eye raising and stunned looks and how I kept turning my back and walking away, might have clued their wife into how I really felt. We’ve not talked, since.
Image source: alwaysboopthesnoot
#53
I love my son and he wasn’t stupid at all, but he did say something really stupid when he was 16. He drove his car to school for the first time and he called my wife to ask a question about his car. It was an older car that you had to lock using the button on the door.
Son: how do I lock the car?
Wife: what do you mean? Just press the door lock button.
Son: but then how will I get out?
Image source: BaconReceptacle
#54
I saw a sovereign citizen license plate on the back of their vehicle.
Image source: Top_Willingness_8364
#55
My mother-in-law used to have a cat that hated children. Whenever the grandkids were around, she would shut the cat in the kitchen so they wouldn’t get scratched and hissed at.
One day my sister-in-law arrived with her son. He wanted to go into the kitchen, so she opened the door, let him waddle in, and closed it behind him. She was then shocked when he got scratched, because it completely flew over her head that the door was what had been separating him from the cat in the first place.
Image source: Legal_Farmer_8248
#56
He egged a teacher’s house and left the bag with the receipt in it in the driveway.
Image source: cyberjar88
#57
A coworker that no one particularly liked posted a story on her Facebook I didn’t believe until I saw it. She found a Tide bottle at a car wash. She thought it was free detergent that someone forgot and people also use Tide at car washes?
Posts a picture of her washer with oil all over the inside saying don’t trust Tide containers left at your local car wash.
Image source: 2_Spicy_2_Impeach
#58
I used to work in Yosemite and I think some of the guests genuinely thought the entire place was a man made theme park. People would ask when the rest of Half Dome would be built, or where the bear cages were so they could pet the bears. They were pointing at a map that had marked bear boxes – the ones for food storage while you hike. Someone else brought up a confirmation for his hotel and asked for directions. His hotel was in Yellowstone, about 20 hours away by car.
Image source: shrub-queen
#59
I overheard one colleague explain to another that if you’re being robbed, and they force you to take cash out of an ATM, just enter your pin backwards and the police will be alerted.
Image source: InTheFDN
#60
As a medical resident taking history and physical of patient in the emergency room, getting past medical history, and such, asked if they have had any surgeries, she said yes plenty of them. Ok…. What surgeries have you had? She replies “ I don’t know, they always put me to sleep before they do them”.
Image source: Solid_Service_5396
#61
Once had a patient who had to walk on a treadmill so I could get a gait analysis. I tried three times, explaining each time that when I said “go”, he would have to start walking. In the end I had to use a different measuring system, because he just could not understand how a treadmill works.
Image source: Wings_love
#62
I worked in a call center that took calls from all over the world. The 2 girls near me were good friends.
So one girl gets off a call and was like “he barely spoke English! I couldn’t understand him at all. I don’t know what he speaks but it’s not english”
Girl 2 – well where was he?
Girl 1 – looks at the profile “um, Spain”
Girl 2 – so Spanish then
Girl 1 – um no! I said Spain not Mexico DUH.
Image source: mistegirl
#63
I was bartending in Scottsdale AZ and had a woman and her bf ordering. She asked me to explain the difference between chicken wings, chicken strips and chicken wing pizza
Well… Chicken wings are bone in friend chicken, chicken strips are boneless battered fried chicken breasts and chicken wing pizza is pizza with chicken, wing sauce and ranch on it.
“Are there bones in the pizza?”
Uh..no… It’s just pizza
The bf laughs so I laughed. Go back and make it he tells my coworker he wants to fight me for embarrassing his gf.
Image source: ASULurker
#64
I used to work in my dad’s restaurant’s kitchen. My dad was of the belief that any one can cook, it just takes time to get the timing down. I was constantly teaching new people how to cook. There was one time however that I proved him wrong. The woman was trying to cut a bad of cabbage in half but couldn’t do it. She had the knife upside down.
Image source: Steelysam2
#65
Was over at a friend’s house and we were watching TV with his sister and the Blue Angels were doing an airshow. They came flying by the crowd low to the ground and inverted and she blurted out “Nuh uh, that’s fake!” We looked at her and asked what she meant. She said planes can’t fly upside down. She had somehow managed to make it to 26 years old without seeing a plane flying inverted anywhere. We assured her that planes can, in fact, fly upside down and tried to explain aerodynamic lift, but she wasn’t grasping the concept. She accepted that we were right and then thought about it some more and said “Well, if they fly upside down how do they keep from spilling the ashtray?”.
Image source: SunBelly
#66
I was a restaurant manager and this person was a server.
We got our tax documents in late January. She owed something like 2k, and was freaking out. Turned out she had overheard somebody else talking about filling out their W-2 and what they were claiming (because they had multiple children and qualified for things people without kids don’t qualify for) and decided to fill her form out the same way .
At this point I was sure she was an idiot.
Then she asked me what she should do. I told her I couldn’t tell her what to put on the form, but I advised her to withhold something for next year so this didn’t happen again .
She looked concerned, thought for a second, and then suddenly looked happy
She said: “oh well, at least I don’t have to worry until April 15th. Taxes don’t start until tax day”.
That was probably the dumbest person I have ever met. There was also a time she didn’t realize that a restaurant customer that obviously had no eyes (injuries, scars, open sockets, not even wearing sunglasses) was blind.
Image source: Mudslingshot
#67
One time I was in line at the store. One of the women in line had a service dog with her. Another woman waiting with us was asking these questions about the dog. I don’t remember exactly what they were, but it was obvious she thought it was a pet. Finally woman #1 said that it was a service dog. To which woman #2 responded: “Which branch of service? Army? Navy?”
The looks all of us were giving each other overhearing this.
Image source: Whatasaurus_Rex
#68
I’m the techie guy at work so I had a coworker come see me about his laptop. He said he accidentally installed a virus/keylogger. He’s afraid they may gain access to his banking info and etc… I told him I could perform a full wipe of his laptop to ensure its virus free but if he’s concerned about his banking info he may want to change the passwords on his accounts.
He says “Yeah I was doing that before I brought the laptop to you”
I said “On this laptop?” gesturing to his infected computer.
He said “Yeah”
…
Image source: gimurr
#69
The head of marketing asked me to make a graphic for a print brochure he was working on.
I showed him the graphic; he wanted to know if I could animate it. For a print brochure.
Image source: PyroTek1080p
#70
She was on her third glass of wine at an open bar before asking if wine has grapes. She’s allergic.
Image source: maybe2daysatan
#71
The guy training me at a previous job asked me once “Are there male cats?”.
Image source: GoliathBoneSnake
#72
Not my story but a friend’s. They worked at a book store and a teenager walks up to him and asks him to help find a book that he needs for school.
Asks if they know the title. –Nope.
Ask if they know the author. –Nope.
Do you know I’d it is fiction or non fiction. –What’s that mean? 🥴
Kid thinks really hard to remember something… anything….and says..I think it’s a sports book.
Okay do you k iw what sport it’s about? — Baseball…I think.
…..is it Catcher in the Rye?… –Yeah that sounds familiar.
Come this way. It’s neither a sports book nor about baseball.
The education system, his parents, SOMEONE has failed this poor young man.
Image source: animalcrackermafia
#73
Went to a flea market comics/cards booth and asked if they had any Magic The Gathering cards. Guy asked, “Singles, packs, or boxes?” I said anything. He replied, “The only thing I got right now is Pokemon.” My mom was with me and held it together until we just got out the entryway and almost cried laughing.
Image source: ArrakeenSun
#74
When my son was in Boy Scouts, they went to a weekend camp, and being older they needed to make their own meals. At 12+ years old, some of the kids in the group didn’t know how to tell if water was boiling or not (in order to put the pasta in the pot).
Image source: LuvCilantro
#75
I had a coworker insist that the Alamo in San Antonio was a reproduction because the Battle of the Alamo didn’t take place in the middle of a city.
Image source: Greengiant304
#76
I used to work as a liftee on a ski hill. One extremely busy day as I was uploading people a guy came barging through the queue demanding we make both sides go up instead of one up one down to speed up the on-boarding as the one coming down was empty and a waste of space.
Image source: Public-Permit696
#77
When I worked at a supermarket as a teen I pulled out my keychain which happened to have a spherical compass on it. Several of the adults who worked there were mesmerized by it and asked how it worked.
Image source: skintigh
#78
My buddy Colby, his dad and I were talking at a high school track meet with a girl Colby was dating who went to a rival high school.
Colby’s dad to Colby’s girlfriend: “Classes are 90 minutes at your high school, aren’t they?”
Colby’s girlfriend, dead serious: “No, they’re an hour and a half.”
Colby and I, looking at each other: “…”
Colby’s dad to the girlfriend: “Close enough “
We had a good chuckle after she left. She also wrote him a few letters the next year when we were in college, and never spelled his name the same way twice.
Image source: brett_j1
#79
A coworker of mine told another coworker that she was Wiccan and practiced witchcraft. The response:
“So, you can levitate?” It was said with complete honesty.
Image source: BitchWidget
#80
As a nurse, I was explaining to a med tech that I wanted them to administer 4 mg of hydromorphone to a patient. She said, “I can’t! I only have 2 mg tablets!” Cue a 20 minute conversation where I had to spell out that 2+2=4 and at the end, I’m still not totally sure she got it.
Image source: kaypancake
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