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Long story, pardon me for that.
I am one of 5 siblings, 3 girls and 2 boys. My parents were well educated, but my father was an industrial worker. I was very good in school up to middle school. The fall in grades occurred due to physical abuse by both parents.
My father would beat me in sessions that would last for up to an hour, with a leather strap he kept for the purpose. He often threatened to burn me with lit cigarettes
Image credits: Hill Country Camera (not the actual photo)
I got married 20 years ago, and the abuse increased. Once, I was locked out of the family home for a silly reason
Image credits: StockSnap (not the actual photo)
My wife was verbally abused for no reason — a long list of aggressive behaviours. I moved across the country, a 10-hour drive away, to escape the toxic situation.
Then, whenever I went to meet the family, I was treated like a stranger they must put up with — not included in family news or activities. My siblings were a part of this behaviour.
My wife underwent major invasive surgery; no one came to visit her in the hospital. She was alone at home in bed post-surgery as I had to travel for work. The family refused to come and stay with her, so I had to ask a friend’s mother-in-law to come over for two weeks. Practical strangers helped, while the family refused.
My entire salary was given to the family for 7 years, and 20% of my salary for 10 years thereafter to support them, yet I was still treated like an outcast
Image credits: juno1412 (not the actual photo)
I would still get demands to pay for medical expenses, which I paid — until I decided to break contact 6 months ago when things went too far.
My niece got engaged, but I was not invited to the celebrations, even though I was in town. She got married, but I wasn’t invited. I wasn’t shown pictures of the events, though I asked — they said they “forgot” to take pictures. Nothing was done to make us feel included.
They have planned a wedding party next month, but no personal invitation was given, even though there was plenty of physical contact. I just got an SMS saying we should try to buy nice clothes for an upcoming party — so that is like an indirect invitation, probably because many other people questioned our lack of attendance for previous engagements.
I have decided to break all contact with the family, as the disrespect crossed a red line. The family now complains to my wife that I haven’t called in 6 months, while no one called me to ask why I don’t call.
Certainly, we won’t attend the wedding party.
AITA for the estrangement? My family says I’m the A.
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