Friendship—real friendship, not the superficial, fair-weather kind—requires a give-and-take dynamic that’s based on mutual respect and healthy boundaries. It needs to be a two-way street. Otherwise, all you’re left with is a bunch of people who take advantage of your generosity and support. But when you need their help, they’re nowhere to be found.
Some people behave so shamelessly that it’s frustrating to read. Internet user u/Capable_Candy6712 opened up to the AITA community about how her and her husband’s pal stayed at their place when he had nowhere else to crash. But instead of being grateful for the help, the man ate “literally everything” in their home. And that’s not an exaggeration, by the way. Scroll down to see how bizarre things got.
Ungrateful, entitled, toxic ‘friends’ are the worst. They take advantage of your kindness and leave you feeling powerless
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
A woman shared how a temporary houseguest crossed all boundaries and disrespected the household
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Image credits: Capable_Candy6712
Freeloaders often have a victim mentality and believe that they can’t solve their own problems. They’re also very unresourceful
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It’s very likely that someone you know is a freeloader. It might be a relative, friend, coworker, or a distant acquaintance. What unites freeloaders is that they feel entitled to take more than they give.
Some of them might be maliciously taking advantage of other people’s goodness. Meanwhile, others might have such low self-awareness and barely any emotional intelligence. And so, they might have no clue how their actions impact those around them.
According to Good Morning America, some of the main signs that a person is a freeloader include the following:
If you don’t enforce healthy boundaries, then you’ll have your fake friends walking all over you. You have to prioritize your needs, too
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“When you’re dealing with someone where it’s a repeat situation…you’ve got to say no. It’s very, very difficult, but you need to say no,” says GMA financial contributor Mellody Hobson.
As per Hobson, you have to help your friends understand that they have the power to take responsibility for their lives. “You’ve got to put the ball in their court and have them take control of their life.”
Dealing with freeloaders can be tough, but you have to try; otherwise, they’ll continue harming your finances and emotional health. For one, you must set very clear boundaries.
“Tell whoever you’re helping exactly how you’re going to help them. The person who you are helping should be able to say exactly why they need the assistance and what they’re going to do with whatever help they get,” GMA explains.
And though being charitable and supportive are wonderful things, you should not jeopardize your financial security for other people’s sake. Do not go into debt trying to save your friends.
Meanwhile, you don’t necessarily need to give your pals financial help. You can support them in other ways, like helping them with their resume or hunting for a new job.
But if you feel like you have no choice but to lend someone cash, make sure to make things as formal and legally binding as you can. “If you are going to give [someone] money, put it in the form of a loan. That will help the situation and help them take responsibility and accountability for what is going on,” Hobson says.
Fake, false, and fair-weather friends are fundamentally selfish. They don’t respect you or your time
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You also have to consider whether the relationship you’re so heavily investing in is actually worth it. Is the freeloader who’s mooching off you a genuine friend, or are they fake, only there when the times are good?
As Verywell Mind points out, fake friends disappear “when you really need them,” ignore your needs, and only ever want to talk about themselves. In short, they’re selfish and don’t actually respect you, your wants, or your needs.
Fake friends are:
How would you deal with a friend who ate literally everything while crashing at your place? Have you ever had to call out any freeloaders in your life before? What did you do and how did they react? Who is the worst ‘friend’ you’ve ever had the displeasure of having? Share your thoughts in the comments. We’d love to hear them.
Later, the woman shared some more details with her avid readers
Here’s how the net reacted when people read all about the guest’s bizarre behavior
Some folks thought the woman was in the wrong, but only because she didn’t tackle the problem head-on
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