Let’s be real: even the best couples can short-circuit over the simplest things. Nobody nails communication 24/7, and misunderstandings pop up no matter how much you love each other. What counts is how you recover and get back to facing life as a team.
One lady turned to an online community to share how she’d cooked two roasts, hoping to stretch them over a few days so she could take a break from kitchen duty. Wiped out, she took a nap, only to discover everything had gone off the rails when she woke up.
More info: Reddit
Despite what romantic comedies tell us, even the closest of couples sometimes get their wires crossed
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One woman who wanted to take a break from cooking big meals carefully prepared two full roasts with the hope of using them over a few days
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Exhausted after all the meal prep, she decided to take a nap while her husband watched their kids
Image credits: photoroyalty / Freepik (not the actual photo)
While she was asleep, her husband and the kids ate part of the roasts, then gave what was left to the woman’s sister and her family
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Waking up to discover all the food gone, the woman made sure her husband knew he’d messed up, but asked an online community if being mad at him made her a jerk
After hours of chopping, seasoning, and babysitting two giant roasts, the original poster (OP,) an exhausted parent, finally had a plan: cook once, eat for days, and take a well-earned break from constant meal prep. With over $50 in ingredients and a night of effort invested, the goal was simple: stock the fridge and reclaim a little peace.
Worn out the next day, OP gratefully accepted her husband’s offer to handle the kids so she could nap. But while she slept, things quietly went off the rails. Her husband served some roast to the kids… then handed the entire remaining batch to her sister’s family, leaving nothing but an empty pot and a baffling explanation.
OP woke up hungry, expecting leftovers, only to find the meal completely gone. Her husband insisted it wasn’t a big deal, claiming there wasn’t space in the fridge, despite the stack of zip-top bags sitting right there. Since OP doesn’t eat meat, she hadn’t even tasted the roast before discovering she now had to cook dinner all over again.
She wasn’t angry, just stunned into silence. Sure, she could have spelled out that the roasts were meant to last several days, but who gives away $50 worth of food someone spent all night making? In an update to her original post, though, OP says her husband has since realized he made a stupid mistake and will check with her first going forward.
To be honest, OP’s story is way too common, like, painfully common. Experts have a name for it: the invisible mental load. But just how big of a problem is this really? And what can actually be done to change it? We went searching for answers.
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The pros over at SpacesTherapy break it down perfectly: the invisible mental load refers to all the unseen but heavily felt labor involved in managing a household and family – work that almost always falls squarely on women’s shoulders. This dynamic includes three distinct categories: cognitive labor, emotional labor, and mental labor.
Cognitive labor covers all the practical tasks required to keep a household running, basically all the logistics. Emotional labor involves the emotional workload of maintaining a healthy family, like worrying about how the kids are handling school or whether your partner is stressed. Lastly, there’s mental labor, which is essentially the combo of cognitive and emotional labor.
The good folks at Hearth explain that this unequal split can have serious implications for women, impacting their mental health, career opportunities, and even their sense of self-worth. It reinforces outdated gender norms and breeds resentment and frustration within relationships that could otherwise be healthy.
So, what can overloaded moms actually do to shift things? Start by making a list of every task and responsibility you manage. Sharing concrete examples can help your partner truly grasp the extent of the load you’re carrying, and that can go a long way towards making the division of labor more equal.
It’s probably time for OP to have a chat with her hubby about everything she takes on, right? That’s how the invisible becomes visible, after all. Would you agree? Should OP have just let her husband’s mistake slide, or was she right to be upset? Share your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers seemed to agree that the woman was not a jerk for being annoyed and that her husband was the only one at fault
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