Someone very wise said many years ago that the best way to lose even your best friend is to lend them money. And then constantly remind them to pay it back. In fact, money has ruined more than one friendship, even the strongest and most long-standing ones. Here’s another one for the books.
What could be better for a birthday than a nice, friendly surprise? That’s what this group of friends thought when they organized a joint vacation for their friend’s upcoming jubilee. But when it came to money, only one person paid upfront, and the rest promised to pay them back. Spoiler: that upfront payer was pretty naive!
More info: Reddit
Many people, alas, often forget that true friendship is in fact a two-way street and tend to overuse friends’ kindness and generosity, so here’s more proof
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post is a member of a little friendly group, and recently they were planning a group vacation for a friend’s upcoming 30th birthday
Image credits: karlyukav / Freepik (not the actual photo)
They found a nice rental home, and the author offered to pay upfront, as long as everyone paid them back soon
Image credits: drobotdean / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, no one actually paid them back, neither that week, nor even that month
Image credits: hibscus_petalzqt
So the author simply requested a refund, and canceled the whole vacation – and took heat from the outraged friends almost immediately
So, the original poster (OP) and four of their friends were planning a weekend getaway together to celebrate the 30th birthday of one of the group members. They planned everything, found a really nice rental house, and agreed to split the costs equally. The total cost was around $1.2K, or $240 per person. The only thing was that they had to pay upfront.
The OP offered to cover the whole thing on their credit card – on the condition everyone paid them back in a couple of days. Everyone promised to pay up that week. And, surprise, surprise, everyone totally forgot. Even a month later, when the OP reminded them in the group chat, all they got were lame excuses.
As the trip got closer, the OP sent Venmo requests, but no luck. They messaged the group again, saying they’d cancel the booking if the money didn’t come by the next day, and only one out of four friends actually paid up. So the original poster simply demanded a refund and got their money back.
Guess how the group reacted? Yes, they called the original poster mean and selfish, saying they ruined a great gift for their close friend. And now the author has decided to ask netizens for advice – did they actually handle this situation correctly?
Image credits: user18526052 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“Money is generally a rather sensitive issue when it comes to friendship,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment on this situation. “Many people see this as borrowing someone else’s money, and when it’s time to pay it back, they consider it their own. It’s just a kind of mind game.”
According to the expert, people generally don’t like being reminded of anything, and especially not when it involves almost 250 dollars. In any case, many people tend to take good things for granted and bad things as a personal insult, even if that bad thing is a reasonable reaction to their actions.
“The best thing, of course, would’ve been not to pay for everyone at once, but since this happened, at least now this person knows who they’re dealing with. And for themselves, this will probably be two personal lessons. First, don’t count on friends’ promises of paying back, and second, always assert your personal boundaries,” Irina Matveeva sums up.
People in the comments also noted that the original poster did the right thing and should’ve canceled the reservation well in advance, without waiting for the deadline to come. “Honestly, the only reason they’re mad is because they assumed you’d just keep covering for them,” one of the responders wisely added. So do you, our dear readers, also agree with this point of view?
Most commenters claimed that the author was 100% right, and urged them to reconsider their friendship with such entitled persons
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