Well, describing this as ‘something else to think about’ is about as spot-on as it gets, but then you really have to sit and think about this one. The biggest thought I can come up with at the moment is that ‘there was a first movie?’. Someone actually found funding to make Killer Raccoons 2: Dark Christmas in the Dark, and at this point, it feels elitist to say that someone actually paid to have this made, while it feels ridiculous to say that anyone can make a movie these days. If your brain is short-circuiting at the moment don’t worry too much about it, changing gears in this manner is like shifting without popping the clutch first. For any of you that don’t get it, well, look it up. In any case, killer raccoons on a train don’t sound any crazier than sharks caught in a tornado, but hopefully, we won’t see this turn into a franchise that starts bringing back actors that kind of needed the shot since they’re not that great, to begin with. But the whole idea of it is as kooky as it can get and the premise is something that might not challenge a third-grader all that much. But people apparently want to watch it so oh well.
The premise of a man getting out of prison after being sent up for underage drinking makes a person wonder just what kind of intoxicant was responsible for the making of this movie and how much of it the writers had to take in order to crank out this material. The fact that it’s a Christmas movie set in July makes it feel as though the doses were a little high at one point and might have influenced the writers a bit more than they’d expected. But seriously, people fighting raccoons, raccoons fighting with machine guns, and just…raccoons. Somehow I feel itchy just watching the trailer with these little furry bandits making their way around. But did anyone happen to notice the space station that was mentioned and then kind of forgotten? Or did anyone notice that an ex-con is hitching a ride to DC on a train that’s being hijacked by terrorists and RACCOONS? Maybe it’s just me that wants to see more sense in this, but people might be enthused to see this movie simply because it looks like it does. Or maybe there’s something more to it than what the trailer is showing. Keep a straight face, keep a straight face.
It feels as though every now and then a movie has to come out that defies pretty much everything and will go for broke since according to their budget they are broke and are looking for extra money to make another movie. This time isn’t much different since the movie looks like something that might be embraced by people who need something other than the pandemic to focus on, or our politics, or race relations, or just about anything else. It’s almost guaranteed that this movie would do just that since trying to pay attention to anything serious while raccoons are shooting machine guns and handling dynamite is going to seem rather impossible since human eyes will be drawn to the spectacle and the idea that the little masked bandits are truly a threat to the world and to everyone in it. Who knows, if enough people watch this movie maybe they can fund another one, and another, and heck, we might eventually see someone else’s version of how Rocket Racoon came to be. Okay that’ a bit melodramatic, but you likely get the point. The fact is that there are people that will buy this and either claim to enjoy or genuinely enjoy it, especially if it becomes trendy and sticks around as something that people want to share with the world at large.
Maybe this is just the start of something, or maybe it’s just an amusing attempt to get peoples’ minds off of everything for a while. That alone is worth watching something like this since the depressing days that have been going on and on lately have been dragging on and giving everyone a serious case of the doldrums as we wait each day to see if things are going to get better and the people in charge will say that everything is okay. A lot of people are optimistic, but some are pretty set on the idea that we’re not getting out of the pandemic that quickly or that easily, and that things are bound to get much worse before they even hint at getting better. That’s pretty grim really, but it’s how a lot of people feel. But if this movie does its job and distracts folks for just long enough, then it will have been worth it.
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