Long hours, measly pay, unpredictable shifts and difficult people are all par for the course when it comes to working in retail or the service industry. And while you can be trained to deal with, and somewhat mentally prepare for those things, there’s something else that can be a little harder to stomach: stupid customers.
As someone put it, “You never know how stupid the public is unless you’ve worked in retail/fast food.” They then went on to ask workers to share examples of their most bizarre interactions with daft customers. What followed seemed like dozens of auditions for the lead role of Dumb and Dumber.
Bored Panda has braved the depths of the thread, tried not to drown in the stupidity, and put together some of the most ridiculous responses. Among the top contenders: The person who asked what ice is, the guy who failed to put a battery into power tool then threw a fit because it didn’t work, and the woman who demanded a refund on her her color that fell out because “everyone knows your hair grows from the bottom.”
#1
I worked in the café of Barnes & Noble many years ago. Had a customer request an iced upside down caramel macchiato. She was watching me finish the drink, got super pissed and said “That ice needs to be at the bottom. It’s supposed to be upside down”. Told her I couldn’t do that and when she asked why I said “Physics” and offered to walk her over to the science section for a book. My manager was less than pleased.
Image source: the_wild_witch, Brooke Cagle
Ask stupid questions and you’ll get stupid answers. But it’s not as straight-cut as that when it comes to working with customers. Retail and fast food workers are expected to be professional, even when faced with the least sharpest tools in the shed. While some encounters may want to leave them rolling their eyes, staff often need to blink twice… and smile.
Some experts believe that stupid questions are actually good for business. They often hold a remarkably deep source of wisdom, says communicator and copywriter Scott Flood. He explains that what might seem stupid to you, is not as dumb to the next person.
#2
Our sons first job was in a grocery store bakery. Woman bought a Black Forest Cake out of the case, he boxed it up. She brought it back, half eaten, 2 days later. Yelled at my son that it wasn’t “sugar free” and almost caused her to have a diabetic coma when she ate half of it. He asked her what made her think it was sugar free and she said it was because it had cherries in it, cherries are fruit and fruit cakes are “sugar free”. He couldn’t even begin to explain……he was baffled.
Image source: thetwistedstitcher, Umesh Soni
#3
Worked in a produce dept ages ago. Lady comes in – mind you, it was winter – and asks for fresh MI grown corn on the cob.
Me: I’m sorry, we don’t have that right now. MI sweet corn is out of season.
Her: But I want it. Now.
Me: Ma’am, it’s winter. We can’t get it right now.
Her: When can you get it? I can come back.
Me: Let’s see. Planting is at the end of May, add time to grow & stuff, first picking should be in mid August. Come back then.
For some reason she was not amused….
Image source: momsyrbs, engin akyurt
Flood explains that because you know a lot about your product or service, it’s easy to forget your prospects and customers know a lot less about it.
“They probably care a lot less about it, too,” he writes. “When marketers become consumed by the details, they often lose sight of the basics – and those basics tend to be what matters most to your audience.”
According to the expert, paying attention to stupid questions can help you see what really matters. “So don’t brush them off as the playground of the ignorant,” Flood advises. “Listen closely, especially when you hear the same question again and again. Then weave the answers into your marketing messages.”
#4
I had a lady walk into my store after we closed, meaning she had to physically pry the doors open, start shouting “HELLO???” and had the audacity to be angry when I told her we weren’t open.
Image source: skycampanale, the blowup
#5
I work at a garden store and just the other day some lady came in and was like, “is this a bird bath?” And i said, “its a bird feeder.”
“So what do i do with it?”
“put bird seed in it.”
“oh, will it attract butterflies?”
“No. It will attract birds.”
Image source: nellie_1290, Cphotos
#6
A candidate for a job where I work abruptly stood up and left the interview when she learned that 911 is, in fact, open 24/7/365 and everyone could potentially work nights, weekends and holidays. What did she think we do on Christmas, let it go to the machine?
Image source: vegandispatcher12, Albert Stoynov
Ian Heller is the co-founder and chief strategy officer for Distribution Strategy Group. He believes that some people have double-standards when dealing with dumb questions.
“We are all customers in some situations and service providers in others. Sometimes, as customers, we ask dumb questions, too,” Heller says. “The problem is we are very understanding and generous with our own flaws, but can be unforgiving when other people make mistakes.”
He likens it to road rage, saying that we sometimes accidentally cut off other drivers sometimes, but when someone does it to us, we assume it’s intentional. And completely lose the plot.
#7
I love hearing customers ask me ” What do you mean Insufficient Funds”?
Dude it’s not my job to monitor your banking and spending activities.
Image source: warmannd, RDNE Stock project
#8
When I worked at Disney I asked someone if they wanted ice in their drink and they asked what ice was.
Image source: pensandpembrokes, Ron Lach
#9
I live in Canada. I was working at Walmart on July 4. I got a phone call:
“Oh, you’re open today!”
“Yes we are.”
“But today is a holiday!”
“Not in Canada.”
Image source: ryanpetrynka, Getty Images
Heller advises workers to have more grace and compassion, as hard as it may sometimes be. He also suggests that managers train their staff on how to deal with less-than-smart customers.
“If someone tells a dumb customer story, tell them they need to come up with a smart customer story to match it,” he explains. “Make sure they know that getting the same question from multiple customers probably means something is wrong with your website, marketing materials or policies.”
#10
I had a doordash driver who didn’t understand what to do after the order was paid for. As in did not understand that he needed to drop it off at the customer’s house. Part of me wondered how he managed to dress himself in the morning.
Image source: kaijaschmauss, RDNE Stock project
#11
Manager: Customer wants a new salad.
Me: ok. why?
Manager: they said the blue cheese was moldy.
Me: ………………..
Image source: deaf.cambodian, Towfiqu barbhuiya
#12
The most recent one: our store’s transformer was directly struck by lightning, meaning it had to be fully replaced. We were without power for about 18 hours. One guy snuck in with the workers, gathered a bunch of stuff, then complained when he was told he couldn’t buy anything. Sir, the lights are off. We have no power. We cannot capitalism right now.
Image source: skibrym, Corneliu Stefan Esanu
Then there are those who are vehemently against stupid questions, saying they waste time, money and energy. As Cy Wakeman puts it, “A single stupid’ question can commission hours of resources in the form of meetings, research, analysis and discussions that are a total waste of time, talent, and focus.”
Wakeman, a Drama Researcher and author of No Ego: How Leaders Can Cut the Cost of Workplace Drama, End Entitlement and Deliver Big Results, says her own research shows that almost 2.5 hours per day per employee are wasted seeking an answer that “doesn’t exist, doesn’t matter, or reinforces the erroneous belief that others are the source of our problems.”
#13
I work at a very well known chain coffe shop, not important, the other day a customer came in and his total was $7.01. He gave my cashier $7 in cash and proceeded to pull a penny out of our TIP JAR. I get it’s just a penny, but like I don’t understand how someone could actually take from the tip jar with a straight face unless they’re just actually dumb or a complete jerk.
Image source: stressed.zoe, Kirsten Frank
#14
I work in a shoe store. There’s a sale on SHOES.
Lady: are the hats part of the sale?
Me: no, just shoes.
Lady: so no hats?
Me: no, just shoes.
Lady: so no hats?
Me, stone faced now: no.
Image source: beach_girl_73, Andy Quezada
#15
Woman ordered a feta omelette. I clarified. “An omelette with just feta cheese?” She affirmed. “Yes. A feta omelette.” Ok.
Her food comes.
“Wheres everything else in the omelette? Olives, tomato?”
“Did you want a Greek omelette?”
“Yes! Who would order an omelette with just feta cheese?!”
Ma’am I’m not here to judge I’m just here to get you your food! But you have to tell me the food you want accurately!!!
Image source: snickerdoodlepunch
Wakeman says you can avoid asking stupid questions by changing the way you ask them… The expert suggests changing every “Why,” Who” or “When” to either a “How” or “What.” Then follow with the words “can I.” End the question with some action word such as “do” or “help,” she adds.
“Why do things keep changing?” becomes “What can I do to get skilled up for change so I am unfazed by it?” or, “How can I help drive the change?” or even, “How can I quickly align with the change?” the researcher told Quartz.
Wakeman says questions worded this way are a lot more helpful and accountable.
#16
On the paint mixing machine recently:
Customer: can you match the colour to my neighbours caravan
Me: I don’t know, what colour is your neighbour’s caravan?
Customer: (indignantly) I don’t know-you’re the so called paint expert!
Me: (thinking to myself) how can I meet so many stupid people in one section of the store?!
Image source: stevieboy310360
#17
Had a regular at the coffee shop who came in every morning for her extra micro foam cappuccino. Every single day she would see us pour half the drink in the cup and she would say “That’s not enough” and every single day we replied “that’s because I have to steam two pitchers of milk to make enough foam for your drink.” Every. Single. Day.
Image source: stephstreibs
#18
Customer (on phone): What does the Blue Moon ice cream taste like?
Me: It’s very sweet, like frosting.
Her: But what does it taste like?
Me: Sugar.
Her: Are you dumb? Can’t you describe it as a fruit??
Me: … (it did not taste like a fruit at all).
#19
I’m a tattoo artist, and I had a woman lose her tattoo. Her skin was covered in freckles, and she had me fix up a custom shade of ink to match the color of her freckles, and give her an artificial freckle in the shape of a heart. Then she lost track of where it was, so she gave me a one-star review.
Image source: joelangleytattoomaker
#20
Card reader: *consistent beeping* Customer who currently has their card in the reader: “iT sAyS pLeAsE rEmOvE cArD” I had that exact interaction with SO MANY people and it never failed to send me up the wall.
Image source: mss_nthng13
#21
I had a girl ask for an iced venti white mocha light ice whip on the top and bottom. I told her I couldn’t do that and she said shocked why?! W/o missing a beat I said “science! Aka buoyancy. The whip is lighter than the milk so it’s going to float up. Thanks Bill Nye”
She was less than amused.
Image source: tjenkins85
#22
I was pulling a pallet of beer through the shop with a pallet truck someone asked me do you work here i said no.
Image source: kieron8528
#23
Hairstylist here: a woman in her 60s once demanded a refund bc the color “fell out” of her gray roots after 8 weeks when I explained that her hair just grew she said I was stupid & didn’t deserve my license because “everyone knows your hair grows from the bottom”.
Image source: _thepaintedpixie
#24
I would get the early morning, ” your doors arent working!”.
Yes, we’re closed, please leave.
Image source: haleysname
#25
I worked at a big green shed here in Australia. I had a guy come in SCREAMING at the poor 15 year old cashier who was covering a break on the service desk about a power garden tool not working. When I came up he started screaming he wanted a MAN who knew what they were doing.
I told him no and finally got him to show me the problem.
He hadn’t put the battery in.
Image source: e.mcintosh.author
#26
My register at work doesn’t tell why cards are declined unless it’s invalid PIN number. Conversation often go: “Your card was declined.” “Why? I have money on it.” “IDK, you might want to call it.” “This is bull, you stole my money. And are charging me double.” Like dude this is Dollar Tree, chill.
Image source: a.court.of.dragons
#27
I drive a cab, asked a lady how the food was on her holiday, she said “it was ok, we had pasta every day except for one day when we had spaghetti”. This was the same lady who confidently told me she’d been to Florida but had never been to USA.
Image source: mike.nichols10
#28
we had to blacklist a grown man from a salon i worked at because he’d basically pee everywhere BUT in the toilet. like explain to me how you get piss on trash can lid. was dude just using it like a firehose in there?!
Image source: severallargemangoss
#29
I’ve had to work Thanksgiving and Christmas before in retail and I’d always have customers come in and say, “I think it’s terrible they make you work on (insert holiday here).”
Well, if you didn’t come in…one year of no sales and I guarantee they’d give us the next one off, out of the “goodness of their hearts”.
Image source: michaelcook406
#30
I worked at Wendy’s. A lady came in on a hot day (30°C) and ordered 4 large frosties. She returned 30 minutes later, absolutely LIVID because they melted in her car on her drive home. She yelled at me for a solid 20 minutes, calling me every name imagineable, saying how I was going to be stuck at that dead end job for the rest of my life. I said, “so you’re mad at me because your ice cream melted when it’s 30 degrees outside?”
She demanded to speak to my manager because I “gave her attitude”
1/2.
Image source: jenjen1923
#31
I worked at a chain coffee shop at an airport for two years and in that time three different people asked me “do you do coffee here?”
Image source: lizzieeden
#32
After I told one customer, “no i don’t work for (store), I work for Pepsi”. She looked me dead in the eye and says “Well you should wear something that tells people that”.
As I’m standing there in my blue Pepsi shirt that has the Pepsi logo across my back and says PEPSI CO in a smaller logo on the front, and tan shorts, pulling a cart of Pepsi 12pks. In a store where all the employees wear black smocks & black pants.
Image source: goombaw
#33
1. Worked at a fruit company. Someone put their phone in the microwave because they saw online you can charge your phone that way.
2. People would come in asking me for their password to their email or account expecting me to know it. That kind of defeats the purpose?
3. Easily 10 people a day saying their phones don’t ring anymore. Turns out their phone was just on silent or the volume was turned down.
Image source: nicksouza
#34
I work in hospitality. Been working at the front desk of a hotel on and off in my hospitaliy career. Checked a guest into a water view room at a hotel in Seattle at about 9pm in the winter. They called down and asked where the water is and were upset. I had to explain that it’s dark outside that’s why you can’t see it right now. Sigh.
Image source: aprzybor
#35
I like the quote from the park ranger who said that designing a trash bin that kept out bears but allowed human access was difficult, because the intelligence of the smartest bear and dumbest human overlapped.
Image source: bharper1888
#36
I was working retail pharmacy and had a customer at the drive thru. This man belted out instructions through the intercom that he didn’t want us to call him when his rx for Viagra was ready for pickup. Because he didn’t get it for his wife, he got it for his gf. Don’t worry dude, just me and the 10 customers on line inside will know about it. It’ll be our little secret.
Image source: allirich3
#37
Restaurant that made fresh fruit lemonade. Included a photo and detailed description of fresh muddled fruit and house made fruit puree for the drinks. Lady orders a raspberry. I comment that’s my favorite lemonade flavor. I bring it back, it CLEARLY has chunks of muddled raspberry floating in the lemonade and is raspberry colored. I’m taking orders from the table and she suddenly gasps and says “this has ACTUAL raspberries in it??!?! I’m allergic to raspberries! Why didn’t you tell me?!”
Image source: chookiebeebee
#38
We have a bright white sticker on our door reading our business name. It’s right at eye level and one of the words is cabinets. More than one person has walked up to the door, stopped, read the door, and went ahead and came inside to confused ask “is this the day spa?” The day spa is 2 doors down and their entire door says “day spa.”
Image source: soonergirrl
#39
I work at an animal shelter. There is a sign that says “I am Adopted” when a dog gets adopted so people know that dog isn’t available. People STILL say stuff like “What does that sign mean?”
Image source: gothgirlnene
#40
Had a person at the Grand Canyon ask me how long it takes the bus to get to the bottom. I tried so hard not to say “It depends on where it drives off” and my continued employment after the fact is the only evidence I have that I succeeded in giving a factual answer (there are no roads into the Canyon, none).
Image source: lbrygk
#41
I worked at a mom and pop cheese steak place once. We walked in that morning and smelled natural gas, so we shut our gas line down, and called the gas company. The line to our 6 foot flat top was leaking. So we put a giant sign on our front window that we were closed. We kept the lights shut off to the lobby. We put another sign by the door that was propped open. So why the hell did we keep having people walk in, go to the counter and loudly call for someone to come take their order. Idiots.
Image source: lisa.g.yeah.you.know.me
#42
Been in retail over 35 years I have so many stories but here’s a goody. Kraft just came out with their fat free cream cheese. So it says FREE in big font on the front of the box. This woman walks up and grabs like 8 of them and says I can’t believe you’re giving away this cream cheese. I said we’re not. She’s like but it says it’s free, I said read the word fat above the free. She was so mad. Got a manager and tried to get them all for free. She did NOT. SMDH.
Image source: elfman57
#43
A woman wanted me (the receptionist of the vet clinic) to give her dog a prescription over the phone for a dog we hadn’t seen at our clinic in two years. When I tried to explain the myriad of reasons why I couldn’t do that, SHE MADE A THREAT AGAINST OUR BUILDING. I hung up on her and alerted my coworkers and then filed an online police report. F that.
Image source: osujillybean
#44
One time I had a guest do a shot, throw up on the floor after taking it, then ask for another. When I told him he was cutoff, his response was “But I’m friends with Brett Michaels ”.
Image source: mm0rguee
#45
A man yelled at me until I cried because he waited over 45 minutes for a pizza that never came out. Oh by the way, he refused to order in the first place when I told him the wait was 45 minutes.
Image source: diamond_armstrong13
#46
Worked at Petco before it was Petco (late 80s). A middle-aged lady came in to return a bag of kitty litter.
“My cat won’t eat it. She just paws at it.”
“Um, this is kitty litter.”
“AND MY CAT WON’T EAT IT!”
Image source: angrygoosescoop
#47
A very long time ago I worked for Waldenbooks. One day a woman came into the store, looked around and asked “Where are the books?”
Our assistant manager was trying so hard not to laugh he had to go into the stockroom. And we could hear him laughing loudly. I had to hide behind the counter because I was trying not to laugh.
Image source: baseballbabe_26
#48
Had a man approach me, looking at my name tag. He called me Mitchell. I said it’s Michael. No attitude just matter of fact. His response?
“Well, see if I ever shop here again!”
Dude, why are YOU getting an attitude? It’s MY name.
Image source: jaggermalone
#49
Them: whats the difference between a 4 pc and 6 pc nugget?
Me: The price?
Them: no…
Me:…one has 4 and one has 6.
Image source: eroshighandbi
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