Nobody treats everyone the same. The people in our lives occupy different places in our hearts—coworkers, friends, partners, and family members all have their own history and levels of trust.
Still, just because you’re related to someone or have known them for years doesn’t automatically mean they’re a good person.
To remind you to keep your guard up, we present a thread we found on Reddit where users have been sharing the moments they realized the people closest to them weren’t who they thought they were. And once they saw it, they couldn’t unsee it.
#1
She gave away her cat that she had for 15 years because it was old. It passed away at some kind stranger’s house 3 months later.
Image source: BatzNeedFriendsToo, Helena Lopes
#2
The week he left me, when I was 26 weeks pregnant with our second baby. Knowing my incredibly traumatic childhood. Knowing the abandonment issues and why I have them. Never a word about working on us to keep our family. Never a word of counselling. Just..one day he was with me. The next day he was gone.
I mourn the man I fell in love with. This April it will have been two years, and I’m still not over the pain.
Image source: UnicornKitt3n, The Yuri Arcurs Collection
#3
He kept adopting animals and then getting rid of them after a few months.
That didn’t quite click, I guess, but then we got a puppy together. After a couple years, he gave me 24 hours to find the dog a new home. So I did.
The dog and I are doing just fine at our new home.
We moved from the suburbs to a very rural area where my pupper delighted in making new friends. He adores baby birds and all the small things. That one was a fledgling and did not need any help. It was fine.
Image source: NeedsMoreTuba, zinkevych
You might feel dumb for not seeing the signs for a while, but you don’t want to ignore them forever either. In general, though, many people have been growing increasingly wary of those around them.
Americans, for example, trust each other less than they did a few decades ago. The share of adults who said “most people can be trusted” declined from 46% in 1972 to 34% in 2018, according to the General Social Survey.
In a 2023–24 Pew Research Center poll, an identical 34% said most people can be trusted.
#4
After not drinking for over a year, my husband said “Just have one drink, I won’t tell anybody.” I did not drink but it was a defining moment.
He is a narcissist and he was afraid of the clarity sobriety gave me. I was easy to manipulate when I was drinking. We’re getting divorced. I still don’t drink.
Image source: Large_Street_8608, jet-po
#5
The moment I realized my dad was cheating on my [terminally ill] mother.
Image source: scout1982
#6
I saw one of my cousins hit his wife. She is deaf and doesn’t have hearing aids. He had stood behind her while she was on her phone, verbally asked her something a few times without getting her attention first, then smacked her hand really hard and yelled at her in front of everyone at the table that she needed to do what she was told.
It was a two-for-one, because when I told my mom this when giving her the reasons why I wouldn’t be attending his gatherings anymore, she at first said that she didn’t see it, and wasn’t going to take someone else’s word for it. Then defended him after hearing the story by saying, “Well, if she wasn’t listening….” I’m sorry, but no. Even if she could’ve heard him, that’s not okay. It gave me a new perspective on how she treated me growing up, and my teenage sister now. It wasn’t okay, and it was not just a circumstantial thing.
Image source: adrearynightinnov, freepik
Part of social trust is rooted in personal experience. People learn to trust others based on how they themselves have been treated.
But scarring events that reduce trust—including many from this list—may lead to viewing others with greater suspicion.
Also, some groups tend to trust others less than others.
For example, Americans with lower levels of education or income are less likely to say that most people can be trusted. But many other personal characteristics are associated with trust levels, including age and gender.
#7
When they tried to isolate me from my family and friends because they want my life to only revolve around them.
Image source: IceSeeker, freepik
#8
My brother struggled with mental health and spent time in a couple facilities. I was surprised by family members who did not go see him when he was at his worst.
Wunktacular:
I was in the hospital last year and the people who DID show up shocked me.
My parents were “too far”. My sister “had plans”.
All of my regular coworkers went out of their way to see me. I had a couple customers from work come to see me. My own fucking parents couldn’t make it but a client contact flew in from the next state over to bring me flowers.
Really put things into perspective.
Image source: Slawth_x, mego-studio
#9
My baby brother, who I love very dearly and always have thought the world of, started dating a 16 year old. At 26. Supposedly it’s okay, because he has her mom’s permission…I think that just means she has a bad mom.
She’s 18 now, and he’s 28. My mom seems to think I should just get over it, since she’s 18 now. I strongly disagree. If some 26-year-old man thought he was gonna just hang around my niece until she turned 18, my entire family would have a huge problem with it. That dude would be seen as a [freaking] creep.
But because it’s my baby brother, we’re just supposed to turn a blind eye. Because he’s “not like that” – except he is, because he literally groomed a child. And I just can’t ever see him the same.
Image source: MeesaMadeMeDoIt, freepik
Reading these stories, you might wonder if it’s better to just remain a skeptic and doubt the people around you. After all, common sense tells us that if people are too trusting, they might create problems for themselves, such as falling prey to scams. And distrust can be a rational response to a life full of hardship.
But on the other hand, trust lubricates the frictions of daily life. It makes working together easier, whether we’re talking about a relationship or a project at work. And if we take an even broader look, society needs confidence that people will respect contracts, repay loans, and behave honestly—higher trust is also associated with better-functioning democratic institutions.
So perhaps, as in many things, the golden mean is the best approach: staying open to others while still keeping your eyes open for warning signs.
#10
When I realised my fiancé had been cheating on me for our entire 5 year relationship. I confronted him with messages of him [texting] other women and he admitted it, telling me he never loved me, I wasn’t special, he was just using me for convenience. He said it with this horrible smirk on his face and blank pitiless eyes that said “oh, you figured it out did you?”
In that moment I felt my love and affection for him snuff out like a candle flame.
Image source: LordDessik, Drazen Zigic
#11
When my dad told me he was in support of “getting rid of the illegals”. I knew deep down my dad was definitely conservative, but with the way I was raised I just never thought I would hear him say those words. He raised me to be kind and loving to all, that we stood up for our rights, that we do the right thing even when it’s hard. And now its opened my eyes to seeing him do the opposite more than I had noticed before. As my dad, I will always love him, but I’m very disappointed in him.
Image source: Megnuggets, namii9
#12
My sister when she revoked her offer to stay with me after a critical surgery, 24 hours before the surgery. I had to cancel it and I’m in agony every day. I can never look at her the same way again.
Image source: Izzysmiles2114, lifestock
#13
When my boyfriend who I loved dearly looked me in the face and said he was going to accept an offer of 20K to marry a co-worker to help her get a green card.
Image source: LaCroixWeekend, freepic.diller
#14
My sister dated a guy for years who seemed perfect. Polite, good job, everyone loved him. One night we were all at dinner and a homeless guy came up asking for change. My sister quietly gave him a couple dollars. After the guy left, her boyfriend leaned over and said, dead serious, “You shouldn’t feed animals. They come back.” Everyone kind of laughed awkwardly but I remember feeling my stomach drop. The way he said it wasn’t a joke. She married him anyway. Divorced three years later after he treated her the exact same way.
Image source: According_Recipe_464, freepik
#15
He told me that he doesn’t mind making me cry because it’s when I’m the most beautiful.
Image source: juniperavery
#16
My dad. I invited my best friend to spend the night. She got to my house and my dad realized she was mexican. He went on a rant about how she was going to steal from us, while she was in the room.
Image source: justmitzie, prostooleh
#17
My parents belittled me a lot. I tried hard for years to make them proud of me. When I graduated from college with good grades while working and volunteering we were sitting at the dining table. My mom told me, “ you’re not like your sister you’re not naturally smart.” I made better choices and better grades because they talked trash about her behind her back for years. And she told me that. The woman who dropped out of high school. I mentally checked out.
Image source: neverlookatagain4949
#18
My mom. I was around 15 and picked up the landline and heard her talking to a man who wasn’t my dad. They were laughing about us wondering who the flowers were from if he sent them and she put them on the kitchen table.
Another time, she got into my email and saw a message from my best friend (we were like 17?) Saying that my mom didn’t have my best interest in mind (she was trying to stop me from going to college). My mom confronted me about it and said, “I just have no use for her anymore. ” I will never forget those words. That’s when I knew she wasn’t normal.
She had always been mean, but never hit me other than a few slaps. I had food, all the material things. But I spent my whole childhood and into my 20s thinking I was bad. Just inherently rotten because I was always in trouble or being yelled at. She always made me feel like I was problematic. I didn’t understand it because I didn’t really do anything. I got good grades. I never smoked, drank, etc until I was an adult. I didn’t sneak out. It was always my “attitude” that would get me grounded for literal weeks. I had to marry and have my own child before I started to realize that it wasn’t me, even though I knew she wasn’t normal. But those words she said that day about my friend are what I always go back to when I start second guessing my memory.
Image source: Zealousideal-Dark620
#19
My ex just gradually got a really big but fragile ego. He’s doing ok in his first job? Everyone else is an idiot. He’s not getting promoted? Everyone else is playing management. He finds loopholes that let him save money in increasingly shady ways? He’s smart. Other people do the same thing? They scam the system. One of the final straws was when he kept bragging about how smart he was because of the uni he went to. I also went there. It was where we met. For some reason, it didn’t count in my favour, only his. Then I realised that kind of thinking permeated everything he did and said. Also, he never did the dishes, or cooked, or did the groceries or meal prepping, or exercised, or let me see my friends. By the end, it was clear he only prioritised himself.
Image source: deaddaddonotopen
#20
Someone that worked for my family told me she no longer wished to work for us bc my dad was harassing her. Shook me to the core. Impossible. Didn’t say anything. She said if you don’t believe me come by the door when I serve food. I didn’t hear anything he said but can hear her saying I am leaving and you know why.
Then my dad opened the door and I stood there frozen.
I love him to this day but it shattered my soul. One good man in my life. Not so good actually.
I was 15 :).
Image source: TopReflection7470
#21
When she had the affair it hurt. Who sleeps with the guy that got her fired with him for harrasment?
When she lied to my daughter and said we split up because I was drinking double hurt, as some one who’s been sober for a long time takes that pretty seriously.
But it wasn’t until the moment that I had to sit down with my 13 year old daughter because she was afraid of me and explain that I wasn’t drinking, and would never drink because I wouldn’t choose that over my family kind of [crushed] me. Because I had to explain why I left, what her mother had did and watch my little girl crumble because for the past year her mother had been lying to her. I think thats when any love I had burned away.
Image source: throwaway1986iii
#22
Someone in my life who I loved more than anyone else had a bad habit of intentionally humiliating me in front of other people for their entertainment. I was very young, maybe 6 – 7 years old when this first started happening, and it was very confusing to me. I didn’t understand how devastating this was to me emotionally was until I was older.
Over time as this happened again and again, I realized I couldn’t trust her. It was something she seldom did, and otherwise she was very supportive. But when she did it the last time, in front of all the people I supervised at work, that was it.
I couldn’t believe she would do that, as usually it was something silly but still embarrassing for me. This time it was way over the top and I finally understood she would never stop. I could finally see that this made her feel powerful; people laughed, I blushed and got tongue-tied and looked foolish, everything she wanted. Ultimately I stopped getting sucked into being friendly with her and just walked away. She said she missed me, but I’ll never trust her again.
Image source: Xylorgos
#23
My ex hid his alcoholism from me for a long time, but it eventually progressed to where he didn’t want to hide it anymore. Sometimes, when he drank and became angry or upset, his eyes would turn black. I saw it a couple times and decided I never wanted to see that again.
Image source: tcarrot0813
#24
My husband. He had moments of cruelty for years. I thought it was me, and he just couldn’t deal with me. Me and our kids were in our yard and I was trying to save some baby birds from a snake that was climbing into their birdhouse. There were a few things in the yard I used as a makeshift ladder to get to the nest and I guess it pissed him off because of the “mess”. I tried to show him the baby bird in my hand and he looked at me with HATRED. Like I was a piece of [trash] under his shoe. Everything just sort of clicked all at once, and I realized how awful our marriage was.
Image source: nrs9516
#25
Everyone called my sister selfish and egocentric. I knew she liked to be in the spotlight but never thought it too much of a problem. Until the night our mum [passed away].
She turned to me and cried “32 is no age to lose a mother! I can’t do this! You don’t understand!”.
I was 21.
This and many other things led me to reconsider and realise why even my friends who barely know her didn’t like her.
Image source: SorryIAmNew2002
#26
When I got the call from my OB/GYN 2 weeks postpartum letting me know he had given me a (treatable and temporary) STI during the second half of my pregnancy. When I was in labor, I had to have an emergency c-section and was kept in the hospital for nearly 5 days afterward because I had a “mystery infection” causing a fever that they couldn’t figure out.
Image source: mypancreashatesme
#27
My grandfather.
After my grandmother [passed] in 2018, my mom basically took care of him. She’d shop for him, make his doctor’s appointments, fill out paperwork, read things for him, everything. My wife and I helped too because he can’t read and depends on other people.
Last January my mom was diagnosed with ILD and given six months to live. She [passed away] five months later.
About three months before she passed, during a hospital visit she told my wife and me, “Don’t worry about helping him anymore. You guys do so much for him but it isn’t your responsibility. He’s not the person I thought he was, and I see that now.”
At the time it shocked us because they had always been extremely close.
A few months ago I was helping him call his doctor and saw the last texts between him and my mom.
“Dad are you okay?”
No reply.
“I know I’m in the hospital and you might not want to come see me, but could you at least text?”
No reply.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Are you mad at me?”
“Please answer.”
She spent the last months of her life begging him to talk to her and blaming herself for why he wouldn’t respond.
The truth is he stopped talking to her once she got sick because she wasn’t useful to him anymore.
edit: Sorry , i realized that his inability to read may cause some confusion. not being able to read was maybe abit too broad, my grandmother when they were married tried to teach him, so he has roughly a 2nd grade reading level, and yes he has the accessibility option turned on to have it read to him, before she got sick they would text routinely afterwards he ghosted her completely, didn’t even visit when they intubated her or any of the other hospital stays she had.
Image source: Newb1017
#28
I found out all the things I’d been lied to about, and it made me question everything else they had told me.
Image source: Imaginary-Tip-6535
#29
My best friend was stranded in a train station with nowhere to sleep or go other than the station itself. This station was on the same train line that reached his town, where I was staying, which could be reached by car in 1h30, if taking the train would not have been to his liking.
Unfortunately we were in the countryside and I didn’t have a driving license, so I was dependent on him. When I learned about my friend’s situation I asked him to drive me to the nearest train station or the one my friend was at. He refused, saying we had a date planned. I told him we could go to a different restaurant after he drove me to rescue my friend, I could give her my house keys and she would have a place to stay. He said he didn’t want to do that.
I told him let’s get in the car, she can get here with the train, I give her my keys and she goes to my place (different small town along the same train line). We get in the car then so I think he’s ok with this plan, but he drives to the restaurant. I was about to call my friend but I instead have to text her he won’t take me.
By then he’s basically kidnapping me, I protest and he shouts that I will be quiet and that we will go on a date. I was afraid for my life, my friend’s. I tried to think of how I could still get to the station but by then it was too late, trains were going to stop running soon. I tried to say something to the waiter but he managed to shut me up and make it look natural. He was 30 and I was 24 at the time.
It was surreal.
It still took me a few months to leave him, but this definitely was the turning point. We had been together seven years and he had been controlling but not as much as in this instance. Not surprising for someone who got with a teenager when they were an adult (I was 16 and 8 months when we got together, he was 22 and a bit, I’m from end of Sep, he’s from early January). You live, you learn, I guess.
When I left him, he blew up my phone for days, then wouldn’t give me my car back for two months and lastly wrote me a letter attributing every bad thing that ever happened to him, to me. Including the level of grief he felt for the passing of his father which happened six years before we met.
Image source: QuantumPlankAbbestia
#30
When my father left for another woman and tried to turn us against our mom.
Image source: faerie99
#31
I had a distinct realization with my ex that I could never have children with him, because I would not tolerate him treating our children the way he treated me.
It was the complete lack of concern for my well-being. It was part of a larger and very consistent pattern, but it hit me when I was up all night violently ill, and when I woke him up and told him I needed help because I was in so much pain I couldn’t tell if it was an emergency, he literally just sighed and said “well what do you want me to do about it.”
It was the beginning of the end. Sadly took another 9 months or so to fully give up on him. The pattern got worse by the end.
Image source: happy_camper_5252
#32
When he was intentionally avoiding higher paying jobs so he wouldn’t have to pay more child support.
Image source: Noneverdid
#33
When my grandad was in the middle of an alcoholic bender and manic episode. I had just seen him the day before and spent hours trying to calm him down/convince him to see a medical professional/go to rehab. He had finished that conversation reluctantly agreeing that he needed help and that we’d talk the next day.
Then he called me, not to discuss any of that, but pretending that he was stranded with his broken down car and asking for money ($3K) to get it repaired so he could get himself home safely. It was the most obvious lie for various reasons. What was actually going on was that he’d taken a woman he was trying to impress to a casino and run out of money.
He did eventually go to rehab, relapsed the next day and crashed his car getting a dui. He has never apologised for trying to trick me into giving him money, I don’t know if he even remembers it.
Intellectually I know that he wasn’t in control of his actions, but I never thought he’d do any of that and I really can’t look at him the same. I still try to help, but the relationship isn’t ever going to be the same.
Image source: gneissboulder
#34
I didn’t realize it right away. At first, everything seemed right: she laughed at my jokes, held my hand a little tighter than necessary, and told me I was “the best.” I believed her because I wanted to believe her.
The first warning sign was quiet. She had an argument with her friend and said things about her that made something inside me turn cold. But then she smiled, hugged me, and I convinced myself it was just emotions talking.
Over time, I started noticing how she twisted my words. If I didn’t like something, she said I was “too sensitive.” If I was proud of my achievements, she hinted that it was just luck. I constantly felt like I had to prove I was worthy of her.
I finally understood it that evening when she laughed at a guy in our group because of his old jacket. Everyone stayed silent. So did I. And she seemed to enjoy having power over someone else’s embarrassment.
That was the first time I saw her without illusions. And I realized: if someone easily humiliates others, one day they will humiliate you too.
Image source: Direct_Reality7434
#35
They seemed like they cared about their friends and they used to go above and beyond for them but a friend of theirs had a miscarriage and they spent the entire time complaining to me about how their friend is too sad to hang out, how they need to get over it so they can hang out again, how they are having a bad week too (as if that could compare) etc. I was shocked, I remember one time I asked how their friend was doing and they went “everyone always asks how she’s doing but no one ever asks how I’m doing, I’m also doing bad”.
Image source: 030117
#36
“SPCA asked for 50$ for me to get my stupid dog back, next time she runs away they can keep her and put her down far all I care ” – my dad, in the parking lot after brunch where i introduced my baby to his family extended family. I knew he was bad but that day my husband agreed we didn’t want him around our kids.
Image source: thouee2
#37
Old college friend. We were out at a bar and he started berating the waitress over something tiny, like the wrong garnish on his drink. She was clearly about to cry and he just kept going. I looked around at our group and everyone was laughing along with him. Walked out, never hung out with any of them again.
Image source: ruibranco
#38
When her father [took his own life] and when she called me to talk about it, she went on for hours about how she could use it to get an old boyfriend back. We had been friends for over a decade, and that opened my eyes to how manipulative she had always been. As I started to back out of the friendship, I found out she was sending the Ex over 100 texts a day at times, and everything about her started to come out. When I said we’re done, she literally sent me a 5 page threatening e-mail that I had to come over to her apartment and apologize in person or she would make me pay.
Image source: SolitaireRose
#39
When my friend said he was on the fence about abortions. Turns out he was on the fence about a lot of things in that vein.
“We should respect pro-lifers opinions”, sounds good in a vacuum, if it wasn’t for the fact that all of that nonsense stands on a false virtue, and he’s just too dumb to see those people for what they really are.
Image source: ohnoequinox
#40
When he cheated on me with his teenaged cousin after 25 years together, then tossed me and his three children to the side like we didn’t matter. Then he told his entire family it was my fault, and tried to have my kids and I thrown out of our home. I found out two months after my father had passed, when his coworker’s husband sent me their private messages. He had been tearing me down for weeks at this point, berating me every day and telling me how horrible I was for suspecting him.
Image source: HeyChu
#41
Several… but here are three and a pattern in my husband’s family:
1) Sister-in-Law #1 (husband’s sister A)- told me to never contact her or her family again if I didn’t disown my trans sister (who came out in her late 30s and is someone SIL would never meet). Two sweet nephews I have no relationship with anymore and it breaks my heart.
2) Sister-in-Law #2 (husband’s sister B)- thought we were good friends, vacationed together, talked on the phone every 2 weeks…was trying to make plans for an upcoming visit and she didn’t respond for 5 days, so I asked her what was up, and then got blasted with multiple texts and emails that she was stressed, didn’t like me, and proceeded to tell me all the things in great detail that she didn’t like about me, and didn’t speak to me for over a year after that. Things are weird now to say the least. We are not friends and I don’t trust her.
3) Sister-in-Law #3 (husband’s brothers wife)- had a heartfelt conversation this past summer and opened up to her about how I really can’t abide family ghosting and cutting people off for reasons that can be worked out (see above). We got into a minor disagreement a few weeks later (over scheduling a phone call) and she immediately ghosted me for months. Haven’t met my new niece (her 3rd baby) who is 5 months old now and they live 30 min away. “I’m not good with conflict.” Really.
I have more examples, but they are mostly contained to my husband’s family!! There are a lot of them- he’s the second oldest of 11 kids and most are married with kids. The parents are terrible so I guess it tracks that most of their kids and their kids’ partners kind of went the same route. Would rather permanently damage relationships rather than have one difficult, adult conversation. My husband is supportive of me and knows his family is insane and we have slowly limited contact with most of them over the 24 years we’ve been married as we’ve realized one by one in examples like the ones above that they are…sigh…not good people.
Image source: BabySlothDrivingFast
#42
2016 was a tough year and the beginning of an huge political separation in my circles. It was a time where everyone around me was constantly shocking me with how they felt about other people. I couldn’t believe I had these people in my life. It wasn’t just a difference in opinions, it was morals and valuing human life. I still can’t see some people I have been friends with for 20+ years in the same light. It really is that deep.
Image source: Shawnfriendez
#43
It was during a video call right at the end of our relationship. His mask came off. I was actually saying to him that I felt like I was going insane… that I didn’t recognise him, I didn’t know who he was.
It was like he had been acting with me the whole time, and he wasn’t doing it anymore. His face was empty, devoid of emotion or any characteristics that I recognised.
It was chilling, confusing, disturbing, unsettling. A lot more has come out since then. I don’t know which version of the man I thought knew was real.
Image source: crackerlackers
#44
He wrote a facebook status ridiculing a senior student’s lower math skills in a very pathetic attempt to hurt their credibility, all because he couldn’t stand being outperformed by them when they wrote a better film analysis. It backfired massively and everyone from school distanced themselves from him.
He had a really fragile ego, and unfortunately it took its toll on most of his friendships and romantic relationships.
Image source: beansofproducktion
#45
When I broke up with my ex fiancé I felt like I was being more than fair to him. I moved into the spare room, but left the good blanket in the main bedroom because it was just the best blanket and I didn’t want him to have to use a [worse] blanket on top of getting dumped. Back story, the blanket was also extremely sentimental to me, which he knew. When I was 12 my house burned down and I lost absolutely everything. My best friend had this incredible blanket that I always told her I loved it. After the fire, she gifted it to me. At 28, I had that blanket in near perfect condition still, it was still the best blanket ever. I absolutely cherished it. He let his dog tear it up, and relieve itself all over the blanket. I came downstairs one morning and found it torn and soiled in the living room.
Before that I was open to remaining friends or at least be on friendly terms. He stole, lied, and was [toxic] so I was giving quite the olive branch. Until I saw my blanket. I went scorched earth on him and told him exactly how terrible I saw him to be and told him he had a week to get out after giving him two months previously. I am still furious and upset about it to this day. That was too meaningful for someone who lost everything to also lose the blanket of hope a friend had shared with them.
Image source: ImmaMamaBee
#46
When I was dating my ex husband Columbine happened. I was talking about how horrible it was and how sad the situation was and he said. “what are you upset about it didn’t happen to you.” That’s when I realized he had no empathy for other people and I still married him. Then divorced him.
Image source: notyouroffred
#47
Not loved, but a college professor I deeply respected. He took me under his wing and I spent a lot of time with him helping him with tasks for 4 years of college and I remember my 2nd semester of Senior year really starting to dislike him and realizing he wasn’t a good person. A few months after I graduated he was fired for #metoo.
Image source: OboEH
#48
Said that he “didn’t have the time nor the energy” for our friendship anymore. We had been friends for over a decade. He then blocked me on everything and didn’t give me a chance to ask why.
Image source: inspired_artist
#49
When I heard the experience I had brushed off with my ex mirrored back to me by a friend who’d had the same experience with him and I realised it was mistreatment.
Image source: wontoofree123
#50
When my grandmother laid hands on me in “self defense” bc I “hit her first” over me asking her to not reorganize my mom’s craft room…. she was just temporarily living with us…
The only one needing self defense in that house was me. Shoving her off of me when her hands went to my neck.
And yes, everyone is OK, and no need for any authority to help. Its a one time incident, and won’t happen again.
Image source: pleco_parent
#51
I moved my family in with my mother and dad so they wouldn’t lose the family home.
I paid the relevant bills.
One day, I walked through the kitchen and she FLEW at me and started beating me and calling me money-hungry.
Thats when I knew.
She now lives with my cousin (she lived with my sister awhile and got herself evicted).
She doubled down on the bad human bit when she hit my puppy with her car (I’m not convinced she didn’t swerve) and left him laying near the road, still alive. We had to rush him to the ER vet…and put him down.
When confronted and asked if she hit anything, she said “yeah I hit her dog. I didn’t tell anyone because I needed to get home and sleep.”
Image source: sparksgirl1223
#52
An ex. We had to park in a parking garage for a short bit, and the first 30 minutes was free, and then it would be $1. We pulled up in line with less than a minute to spare, and by the time the old woman got through with the car in front of us, our 30 minutes was up. She was an elderly woman, really soft spoken and everything. My ex told her it was her fault that we were longer than 30 minutes, because she was too slow and bad at her job, and he wasn’t going to pay. I tried to hand him a dollar bill and he started screaming about how no, it wasn’t the dollar, it was the point. She needed to be better at her job and we shouldn’t have to pay. Him and I argued while the poor woman looked terrified. He called her a b-word at one point too. I ended up getting the dollar to her and she opened the gate.
It wasn’t long after that he screamed at my mom like that too, but by that point, I knew I was done and working on an exit strategy (we lived together and he had control of all our finances). But yeah, I dodged that bullet.
Image source: Secretlysidhe
#53
My dad.
He went to prison for running a ponzi scheme when I was a kid. Before that, I vaguely remember times where family dropped off our groceries, or the power was cut, or I only had one pair of pants that fit, or other instances of having very little money.
It wasn’t until recently that it really hit: the man is terrible with money. He filed for bankruptcy years ago. His house was foreclosed on. He makes over $100k, but can’t pay his bills. He inherited $50k+ between 2019 and 2022 (even after the feds took their cut for restitution), and still wound up houseless.
My guess is it has something to do with all those young, Asian mistresses (excuse me – “friends”).
He’s gross and I hate that I still care.
Image source: Cattywampus81
#54
I didn’t love him, he was my ex-husband’s best friend. My ex, him and I went to Atlantic City. He was in line at an ATM. The guy in front of him got his money and walked away. He left his card in the machine. The friend saw him put in his PIN so he knew what it was. He took the card and took the PIN to a different ATM and hit the guy for like $200 and then did it a couple days later, then threw the card away. I always side-eyed him after that.
Image source: Kinser9
#55
When I turned 16, and realized I was my mom’s age when she met my dad (who was 28)….and how messed up that was.
Image source: Cesa-BUTTERFLY12
#56
He told me he thought he had a 4 year old that lived within 30 minutes of us… and proceeded to show me pics of a kid who looked just like him that he had literally no connection with because he wasn’t sure if it was his kid or someone else’s.
Image source: gailthesnail2
#57
I saw his old facebook and it was all weird misogynistic posts and posting pictures of larger women with laughing emojis.
Turns out he did some domestic violence as well.
Not a good guy.
Image source: InformalAmphibian285
#58
I was in high school when someone I was pretty good friends with—we went to prom together, platonically—started talking about how people need to look out for their “own kind”. That was the end of that friendship. When I heard some other kids in our drama club laughing about videos of racial verbal harassment, I realized I wasn’t the least bit sad about leaving my hometown.
Image source: Geeneelee
#59
When the daughter she had secretly given up for adoption reached out asking questions about who she was and told me that she was asking me because her mother told her to never contact her or anyone in her family ever again because she wanted nothing to do with her and that if she did reach out again she would get a restraining order.
Image source: sugarplumbuttfluck
#60
Ok… It was my cat.
Got him as a super tiny kitten weeks old. Abandoned in the trash. Had to Hand fed it every few hours and it was touch and go there for a while… But he made it, I loved that cat. He grew into a huge boy. Massive. He loved me and no one else.
In front of me, he was unfriendly towards other people, but he just stood his ground and would slap your hand away if you dare try to pet him. Not ideal but what are am I going to do.
Then I got a GF and I went to work and she stayed home…and he would actively hunt her and attack her. I didn’t believe he would do such a thing.
That was the first day. The second day she took video. She would be sitting on the couch watching TV and he would sneak up from behind, bite her on the shoulder, hard enough to draw blood and run away. Hide from her and attack her.
After seeing that I had to accept he was a savage… Gf broke up with me because I wouldn’t get rid of him… But how could I? He literally hates everyone but me. He attacked many people when I forgot to lock him in a room, or if someone accidentally let him out. Total menace.
He passed young of cancer. I’ll always miss him and think of him but he was not a good person/cat.
Image source: iwilltalkaboutguns
#61
When my ex wife started removing women from my Facebook. She was a sick individual and there’s much more to it. She practically ruined my life.
Image source: Martiallawtheology
#62
My mom sent to a mental health unit cuz I found out about her affair. My entire perspective of identity was false so my mom could exploit me and brothers naivety. I can never feel for her again, she is just another animal.
Image source: anon
#63
When I found my dad’s wedding ring balled up with spare Dunkin’ Donuts napkins in his Jeep’s glovebox 20 years ago, when he said he lost it the week before on a business trip. They divorced 2 years later, but it was 10 years before it was finalized. I knew in my heart right then and there he had cheated but he maintained he was faithful to my mother until they separated. 2 years ago he finally told me the truth — and I was right.
When my mother went 0-100 and slapped me across the face on my 12th birthday screaming that I’d be sorry when she was [gone] and that I was an ungrateful because I asked nicely to go to my room and decompress instead of another year of having to open presents she eventually would either take for herself or lock up as a punishment. There were many, many other moments that pointed to her being a piece of trash before this, but being backhanded certainly drove that home.
Image source: janewayshairdo
#64
My sister.
She’s the oldest of our father’s many children. We’re half siblings with an on & off relationship since I was 12. I became the constant babysitter, including spending an entire summer raising my nephew and nieces at 15 years old while she partied. She moved around a lot so I was often helping pack them up, loading & uloading everything, eventually becoming a personal chauffeur & house cleaner & cook. I often did this under the guise of helping the kids and overlooked her taking advantage of me and making me feel like I was the older sibling. I wasn’t unaware of her behaviours and often called her out on them. She, as most addicts do, would wave me off with the typical “Yeah, I know.” remark and move on.
Years ago we were going through an incredibly difficult time. I dropped out of school due to a TBI & subsequent seizures, left a [toxic] relationship, was between housing, and in financial woes all within a very small window of time. She called on Friday night to tell me that she made cabbage rolls & put some aside for us. I said I’d be up some time that weekend to get them and that the kids were very excited.
I showed up early Sunday morning, opened the fridge, and…. there’s no cabbage rolls. I find my sister passed out on the couch from a hangover. So I booted the couch to rouse her and asked where the food was. Her response was a meek “I didn’t think you wanted them so I ate them.” I told her in the coldest tone I’ve ever used that she stole food from my kids’ mouths and she [didn’t exist] to us. You can [mess] around with another adult but you never willingly pull food from a child’s mouth.
It was six years ago in January. I have no regrets. Life is better for us now.
Image source: harleyqueenzel
#65
Walked into a room where one of our family friends was actively using my wife’s past traumas against her and gas lighting her about a recent argument. Realized quickly following arguments exactly what kind of person she was.
Image source: ADDLugh
#66
My former best friend. I can’t pinpoint a moment. It was like a years long realization. But the clarity was full on when in passing, he described a night out at the bar, saying – “I got hammered; it was awesome”. I’d been clean and sober and in treatment at the time, and I just saw it through that lens and it seemed pitiful. We’re in our late 40’s. There’s nothing awesome about partying on a weeknight, and even if there is – time and place, dude. He went out of his way to be unsupportive. We haven’t talked in about 3 years, and I’m nearly 4 years clean.
Image source: SoTiredYouDig
#67
Girl i was seeing didn’t wish me a happy new year but decided it was a competition of who was having a better time. She posted a video of some guy basically dancing provocatively for her before the NYE and waited til I texted first then gave a lukewarm reply.
That was entitlement and manipulation. Before that, her remarks on people and her new hobbies just consistently claiming she’d be soo good at whatever she sets her mind to shows clear narcissistic traits. Before that there was some gaslighting to hide her lies.
A few red flags, then a big red flag to show me this person delivers the opposite of what she claimed was. So i dropped that hot potato immediately.
Image source: tutanotaio
#68
When he would contact me only for his needs and then ghost me and reject my calls when I was reaching out on a regular basis. Then ask me why i was making a big deal out of nothing when i tried to talk about it. It took a long time but i realized he didnt care about my feelings and doesnt know what “love” is in order to use those words.
Image source: Sandbats
#69
My older brother. grew up thinking he was the coolest person alive. he was funny, confident, always had friends over, the kind of guy everyone wanted to be around.
then i got old enough to notice things. the way he’d talk about his girlfriends when they weren’t there. how he’d “borrow” money from our mom and never pay it back while she was barely making rent. the way he’d be the life of the party but never once showed up when things got hard for anyone else.
the real moment was when our grandma [was in the last moments of her life] and he didn’t visit her once. not once. said he “couldn’t handle it.” but he was posting bar pics that same weekend.
i still love him because he’s my brother but i don’t look up to him anymore and that shift feels permanent. like someone flipped a switch and it doesn’t go back.
Image source: jdrelentless
#70
My family. They were raised in the south and seemed very accepting. Allies that supposedly loved all. The moment I got a girlfriend they start telling me every moment I’m near them that gay is okay but I’m not gay. “You’re definitely not gay” “you like boys for sure, don’t you remember” “you’re can’t marry a woman” “you can’t get pregnant with a woman and having babies is a woman’s purpose in life” “you’re never going to be complete without having children” “maybe you should just date pretty men” “men will take care of you, women can’t do that” I can’t even have a single conversation with them without them trying to talk me into dating men.
Image source: goldenpuffdragon
#71
When my mom friend said that sometimes she wishes she could hit her kids. I have a kid the same age as her youngest and I found that so unrelatable I never thought about her the same way again.
Image source: hellogoawaynow
#72
When I realized every apology came with a justification instead of real accountability. Once you see that pattern, you can’t unsee it.
Image source: TowerEqual1218
#73
WARNING: THE STORY I’M TELLING IS VERY RACIALLY INSENSITIVE. Also, just to preface this, I don’t share these views AT ALL!!
My older sister has always been really ditzy, so she does things with no common sense. But in her late 30s she married a man who was 10 years her senior and he was very openly racist. Due to this, most of my family doesn’t see her anymore.
Last year she came to visit and had told me she was having a problem with her hispanic neighbors. Her story was : her neighbors are unlawfully parking in front of her house, on HER curb, and she was harassing them to stop. To her, she owned the curb and that was part of her property. Unfortunately, the city police didn’t agree ( I had already told her they wouldn’t lol).
Well she took it upon herself to leave her neighbors distasteful notes on their car, calling the city to tow their car, had even gone the lengths to park her car in that spot just so they wouldn’t park there. I had told her to keep it up because they’ll file harassment charges on her pretty soon. To which she made the comment to me: “only those people do ghetto things like that.” It was absolutely disgusting and I was mad that that was her reasoning. She couldn’t / refused to see that SHE’s the aggressor. I told her she’s racist and she’s the problem. After that she stopped telling me about her issues with her neighbors and I’m glad!! She’s the most exhausting person I’ve ever met!
Image source: Disastrous-Fault9103
#74
My boyfriend kept complaining about my dog. First it was small things but it gradually escalated. One day, my boyfriend suggested we go to the beach and insisted I bring my dog with. I wanted to leave doggie at home as my boyfriend had just bought a new truck and didn’t want any complaints about how my dog is dirtying his new car.
It was the worst beach trip of my life. He kept complaining about my dog the entire time and on the way back it dawned on me that this grown man was jealous of a small Boston terrier. Moments after that realisation, he told me to get rid of my dog or else.
I said ok. I got rid of my boyfriend, got a second dog and bought a home. My two dogs and I are very happy in our new home where we get to play in a big yard, swim and sleep in an enormous bed. Life is good.
Image source: entangledloop
#75
My husband is always right. In personal life, in business, in everything. A professional with over 20 years experience? Has no clue what they’re talking about. Someone pushes back or has a different opinion? They must be stupid.
He told me he was making things lighter for me – but I was the one getting up every morning to go to a job I hate because he refuses to work for anyone else, then come home and see the house is the same way it’s been for almost a week, he didn’t cook dinner or at a bare minimum take something out of the freezer even though he’s home all day. And it’s my fault he’s “stuck” at home, even though he literally has his own car. But of course it’s his world so he’s right, and it’s my fault.
Image source: Nervous_Smile1993
#76
My roommate’s boyfriend didn’t like him. This man was the nicest, purest, most golden soul who could see the good in everyone. After 2 years of dating and thinking everyone else who told me I should leave him was wrong, all this man had to say was “I don’t really like that guy.” And that was it. If Erick couldn’t find something to like about him, that meant there was nothing to like.
Image source: sheddingcat
#77
When he said, “If you love me or consider my preferences, you would do this.” After I repeatedly said no. It could only get better from there, right?
Image source: _burning_love
#78
My parents.
They are horribly racist, act like jerks now, and behave like they are some upper class elite. They are dentists, chill.
Image source: ballskindrapes
#79
I asked my ex to tell me a secret, something no one else knew.
He gleefully told me when he was a young boy he stole the Xbox from his little town’s YMCA.
Not an ounce of remorse…something inside me shuddered uncontrollably.
Image source: beaureve
#80
After my dad passed, I thought my mom was doing well. But we’re not quite a the year mark and I’m realizing my mom is a mean and unpleasant person. My dad must have absorbed all that so we didn’t have to. The grief is all hers apparently and we shouldn’t be grieving.
Image source: TeacherLady3
#81
I knew my dad was never really good but it actually set in for me when I was around 13 and went with him on a little road trip, and I don’t remember what happened for me to make him mad but he threatened to “punch me in the back of the head”
I’m pretty sure I cried the whole drive back home lol.
Image source: jackknifeJaws
#82
He asked me one night after I got home from work around 8pm if I wanted to watch a movie. I said I was tired and was fine watching something the next day. We shared 3 days off every weekend. He did nothing but play marvel rivals with friends that weekend. I told him to pick a movie and we could watch it the following weekend.
The following weekend came and he was playing rivals again, and never bothered to eat with me or even check on me. He plays ranked and was in voice chat, so finding time to talk to him was hard. I guess I just couldn’t anymore, and went in my room to cry. I guess I was too loud so he came in and rudely asked what was wrong. I said he forgot about the movie. He then tried to gaslight me saying that last time he asked I said no and how I never wanted to watch movies with him anyway. He was yelling. This was the only time I had ever said no. We watched a movie and halfway through he said he invited his friend over.
On christmas he “forgot” to get me a present, claiming that he just didn’t have money. But he spent around $300 on gamersupps cups alone. I think it had just clicked while he was yelling at me for crying that I just didn’t matter to him at all.
Image source: SparkyCervidae
#83
I was dating a estate planning lawyer who always stated “I don’t like bullies.” I asked how do you know who’s the victim and who’s the bully she said “ I just know.” She was the bully.
Image source: brinkdakid
#84
A friend of mine whom I had been emotionally supporting for the past year just goes in phases where he ghosts me. I told him this was upsetting and he was oddly cold about it. I feel like I’m losing my mind and just don’t want this to hurt anymore. I really liked talking to him.
Image source: BasketSnob
#85
When I was dating my ex, we’d been talking about taking a trip together where we’d have to fly to our destination. He just kept going on and on about ways he could s***w around with TSA agents while going through security. This included putting items up his p**p chute. His reasoning was that he wanted to stick it to TSA. I told him they don’t get paid enough to put up with his prank and they had no control over TSA protocols; they were just simply doing their job. He wouldn’t stop even though I was in tears trying to make him understand and my reasoning. (I honestly don’t know why I got so worked up, but the thought of screwing around with people who were just trying to make an honest living really upset me. That combined with the feeling of not being heard.)
That should have been my wake up call to end things. He was not being kind or compassionate. Instead, I married him a few years later. We divorced after nearly 5 years of marriage and a lot more of his a*******y.
Image source: SexTalksAndLollipops
#86
I feel like so much of us blame our moms. I did not have a great childhood. It was physically and emotionally and verbally a*****e. As I got older and had my own kids, I really began to soften. She wasn’t raised well. My dad left with with no money and was controlling AF with her. He made 400k and refused to give her money for child support. She made 25k and she didn’t know to fight for it. She lived a hard existence. I just realized while there’s no excuse, I was able to move on from it and develop a closer relationship w her. It took years of therapy for me to become emotionally strong to do that though.
Image source: avalonleigh
#87
My mom told me that my uncle couldn’t have done anything I was accusing him of because she never saw it, and I didn’t mention it until years later. She speaks about her own s****l trauma the same way so it’s hard to even blame her but I’ve never seen her the same way.
Image source: persianpapasan
#88
When my ex best friend told me I should have empathy for a child a****r because he lost his wife. I told her absolutely not.
Image source: thelastcanadiangoose
#89
My mom. Her boyfriend offered to buy a car for me since my husband had a car but I didn’t (we were doing fine switching off, but we also have kids). We declined but eventually gave in. He took care of payments, while we did insurance, taxes, upkeep, gas. While beneficial, it made money even tighter.
Eventually, he couldn’t keep up with payments because of his own financial mismanagement. We told him that we couldn’t afford the payment that HE PROMISED HE’D COVER. There was talk of just selling the car.
When we at last relented and took on this white elephant gift, I tried to express to her how this was gonna cause us such hardship. She just shrugged and said, “That’s life.”
This b***h watched as a financial burden was placed on the shoulders of her child, after having raised us with similar burdens. She knows what it’s like!
I’ve started to accept the fact that she’s nice but not kind. Our relationship hasn’t been the same since, and I am forever angry with her.
Image source: Kansai_Lai
#90
When they voted for donald trump 3 times.
Image source: HonestContext1439
#91
I was in a relationship for 8 years and the guy I loved was a narcissist. Everyone could see it except me. The day he raised his hand on me and hit me I could see a monster inside him. It was not only that now I could see and believe he was a bad person but My 8 years of life, love, trust, emotions and what not that I’ve given him were gone.
Image source: Alicee_camfun
#92
I was really good friends with a guy. We worked together. We both were brought up very religiously and both had deconstructed from Christianity. He has an amazing wife and kids and I was often mistaken for his mom which was fine with me because I really was proud of him. Both he and I had been molested as children from family members. He was going through therapy because he has had issues with s****l a*******n due to what his family member had done to him. Things started changing. He started pushing me away during the summer. I figured he just had new goals and I knew I did too but I did question it. Fast-forward to his wife outing him for sexting with several people in our community. Most were new and he lied to them. They were younger impressionable women who believed his every lie. The lies he told about his wife were the most disgusting and hardest thing for me to see. I can’t even begin to imagine how she feels. He told her that he had intentionally pushed me away because he knew he would not get away with it if I was around. I miss who I thought he was and who I thought he was becoming. A*******n s***s. But a*******n is never an excuse.
Image source: crystaljae
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