Some things, whether good or bad, can’t be put into words; they have to be experienced firsthand for a person to understand what they really feel like. For some people, it’s holding their newborn in their hands for the very first time, for others it can be something way less magical, like coming face-to-face with an alligator; but in both cases, there is simply no way to convey the experience with words.
Curious about such instances, redditor u/Slow_Inflation8701 addressed members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community asking what’s something people don’t understand until they go through it themselves. Fellow netizens shared their insight covering everything from abuse to parenthood, and much more, so scroll down to find their answers on the list below.
#1
Being with an abuser (mentally, physically, or both) and how hard it is to leave
Image source: Proof_Category_7061, Anete Lusina
#2
Depression, actual clinical diagnosed depression.
If I had a dollar every time I had to explain to someone it’s not “just feeling sad, bro!” and can get over it just like that, I could retire.
Image source: MitchConnor555, Ron Lach
#3
Having to cut off your family because they are very toxic. It’s almost impossible to come off as the reasonable person in this situation to others, even if your life was in danger. People just don’t understand
Image source: SansevieraEtMaranta, Karolina Grabowska
#4
Chronic debilitating illness and disability. How quickly life can change permanently without you doing anything wrong.
Image source: melkesjokolade89, MART PRODUCTION
#5
Experiencing the death of someone you love
Image source: hollyjazzy, Pavel Danilyuk
#6
Struggling without anyone or anything to fall back on.
Image source: Fried-Pig-Dicks, Keenan Constance
#7
Not having enough money due to unforeseen circumstances. Not every poor person is poor because of their own decisions. Finances are like traffic, you can do everything right on the road, and have your life completely flipped by some other a*****e driver.
Image source: WhereTheMoneyAtBoy, Towfiqu barbhuiya
#8
Sexual assault
Image source: Royal-Somewhere-849, MART PRODUCTION
#9
Living with PTSD.
Image source: SpykeATA, RDNE Stock project
#10
Mental illness.
Image source: RareAd3435, Liza Summer
#11
Homelessness.
NOTHING prepares you for it, no amount of knowledge about “ resources “ street smarts etc prepares you for the devastation that is homelessness when you’re not mentally Ill or high to the hills.
You quickly learn all the “ resources “ we like to lie to each other about and pretend those “ lazy bums “ have are a crock of s**t.
Shelters are dangerous, filthy, abhorrent places , understaffed and simply don’t have the funding to do much good.
Yiu can get food assistance, but that’s about it.
Everything is a waiting game, rapid rehousing in most of the country isn’t rapid, youl be on a waiting list for ever, AND when politicians want to save a few bucks or show how fiscally conservative they are, guess who’s funding gets cut first?!
Never mind the trauma of never having privacy, a bathroom, a place to sleep safely, a place to keep any belongings without them being stolen, the constant threat of being robbed in your sleep or assaulted if you’re female, or maybe some teens feel like pelting you with eggs. Etc
Image source: TheGremshire, MART PRODUCTION
#12
Anxiety or The Anxious feeling of something bad always feels like it’s going to happen, and imagining things before they even happen and not being able to cope.
Image source: Myrealgirlfriend, Engin Akyurt
#13
How extremely devastating being on cheated is. It’s a truly sickening feeling in your gut, and nothing in your life is the same afterward. Some people are never the same ever again, others take over a decade to go back to normal. But that initial feeling is the worst. The suspicionions, the adrenaline as the truth unfolds, the severe depression, and the imagination all come together to bring you one of life’s most devastating experiences.
Image source: visionsofcry, RDNE Stock project
#14
Losing a child.
Image source: rushray112, RDNE Stock project
#15
Nerve pain
Image source: LaughingIsAwesome, Andrea Piacquadio
#16
Babies who don’t sleep. Especially if you have more than one child. It’s relentless, unending torture from a tiny being who you love with everything you have but find yourself having terrible thoughts about. You plead and beg, soothe and hug, rant and yell, nothing works, they don’t care, they won’t sleep.
Every time you close your eyes, you know it might be 5 minutes or 2 hours or 20 minutes or 3 hours before you’ll get woken again, and you have to go back in and be the best version of yourself for this tiny human.
If you have other kids, you then wake at day break (if you’ve slept at all) and then your other little ones wake, who also need you. It’s not their fault you’re completely deranged from the nightly torture, they need their Mum as well. Be on your game or struggle with the guilt, exacerbated by your exaggerated emotions as you’re Just. So. Tired.
Driving becomes dangerous, you can’t sort reality or process things, and again – small people who have no sense of the effect their regular little kid behaviour has, no empathy, just unleashing and you have to cop it and be a good Mum. And this is night, after night, after night, relentless, no hope in sight and no energy to summon any. And there’s no real way to tell anyone how tired you are because there’s no way to communicate a tiredness that is a physical weight you feel, like your body and mind don’t belong to you any more but you’ve still got to perform.
Sleep deprivation is a war crime and babies are tiny terrorists. It’s hell.
Image source: Haai_Vyf, Sarah Chai
#17
Having an abortion. When Roe was overturned I had to hear everyone’s opinion on abortion at work (both sides). It’s such a talked about ‘hot button’ issue that people don’t really think about the fact that if you are in a room with 10 women, you are probably in a room with one who has had an abortion, and they might not want to hear what you think about it. Whatever side of the line you fall on.
Image source: opheliaonthelake
#18
Having a child with special needs
Image source: ArtaxIsAlive
#19
Losing a parent at a young age. You’re not sad because you miss them. You’re sad because you were robbed of ever knowing them.
Image source: Schmaron, Pixabay
#20
Having a disability
Image source: Mrwoofwoof, Marcus Aurelius
#21
Being poor
Image source: nowhereman136
#22
Panic attacks
Image source: MarkoDSamir
#23
How bad toxic people and gaslighting are. The thing about that kind of abuse is that you never feel it like you would pbysical abuse. I know when I’m being punched, I don’t know when I’m being gaslighted.
Image source: visionsofcry, Timur Weber
#24
Birth. We all know it’s “hard” but sometimes even the baby books and videos don’t prepare you for what could happen. When I had my son my placenta adhered to my uterine wall. Resulting in me nearly bleeding out. When my water broke it was ALL dark blood. And when I got to the hospital after my water broke I stood up and immediately heard a splash and a HUGE pile of dark red blood pooled on the floor beneath my feet. I had to have a c section after being in labor for almost two days and failing to progress. And on the table they tried pulling it out just a little and I felt EVERYTHING. I started bleeding out and they let me see my son and I was told that there was something wrong with my placenta and they had to put me under. I was intubated and given iron transfusions and blood transfusions over a two week period on top of healing from a c section.
Image source: Slow_Inflation8701, Jonathan Borba
#25
Grief.
When it’s been a a while since, it’s common for people to say something like, “it’s been a few years, move on.”
It truthfully doesn’t work that way. You remember them forever. And even when times after are extremely good and happy, a little part of you is looking in that empty corner.
Don’t say the “move on” thing to grieving people. It truthfully is great that you don’t relate, grieving people don’t want you to try and relate. They’re in the middle of a process that, at least in some ways, lasts forever.
Image source: Sweddy-Bowls, Kampus Production
#26
Addictions.
Image source: dmbgreen, Ozan Çulha
#27
Dieing. Getting old. I’m 84 and, while I’m ok, lots of activities, tons of pain, low energy. It is nothing like I imagined and before that final exit, there are a lot more surprises. (One of the interesting things is that I have NO fear, but maybe that will change. lol)
Image source: kelrunner
#28
Working in customer service
Image source: bobpetersen55, Olha Ruskykh
#29
Blindness, or bad eyes in general.
Image source: Available-Fly-8268, MART PRODUCTION
#30
Narcistic abuse
Image source: what_is_user_name
#31
Cancer.
What it really means to go through cancer treatment.
Image source: Japan_Superfan, Ivan Samkov
#32
Having real OCD.
Image source: Exciting_Telephone65, cottonbro studio
#33
Miscarriage. It’s truly devastating.
Image source: drinxonme, Andrea Piacquadio
#34
Car crashes
Image source: NameTheEpithet, Mike Bird
#35
How unprepared you are for a physical fight. Most people way overestimate their abilities.
Image source: TheTopNacho, Pavel Danilyuk
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