What’s in a name? William Shakespeare asked this question in Romeo and Juliet all the way back in 1597. But in fact, the idea of names and their significance has always existed among humans. In his immortal tragedy, Shakespeare continues to say that names don’t really matter; you may call someone whatever you want, but it won’t change their essence. However, many cultures and traditions will disagree with the great English bard.
Many ancient societies took naming newborns very seriously. It was believed that the name a child received at birth would define their character traits or even their entire life. Giving them funny names or unusual names wasn’t even an option. These days, some parents are a bit more relaxed and sometimes give their children not the common names everyone is used to but names that sound like something else.
There is a whole science called onomatology that studies the history of names, where they come from, how they developed with time, and how they can be used. Even though names are pretty special compared to other words, they are words too, which means we can play with them and make name puns. Just remember when you’re making jokes on names to be kind and not hurt other people’s feelings.
For this article, we have collected some name jokes. Most of them are based on word puns, and although some may fall into the ‘dad jokes’ category, they’ll surely bring a smile to your face. Find your name on the list, and if you happen to know a good name pun, make sure you let us know in the comments below.
#1
Why do hurricanes get such boring names, like Sandy?
Name that thing Hurricane Death Megatron 900 and I guarantee people will be evacuating like rats.
#2
I asked my grandpa: “After 65 years you still call grandma darling, beautiful and honey. What’s the secret?”
Grandpa: “I forgot her name five years ago and I’m scared to ask her.”.
#3
“I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday.”
#4
“I used to date a girl named Ruth but she broke up with me and now I am Ruthless.”
#5
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student “What are your parent’s names?” the student replied ” My father’s name is Laughing and my mother’s name is Smiling” the teacher said ” Are you kidding” the student said, “No Kidding is my brother I am Joking.”.
#6
“Sometimes people are surprised how I’m named after my dad, but, how would I have been named before him?”
#7
What’s a mountain goat’s favorite name?
Cliff.
#8
What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
#9
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
#10
There once was a street named Chuck Norris-They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
#11
Why was the band named “Books”?
So no one would judge them by their covers.
#12
A kid walks in late to class, the teacher asks him “Why are you late?” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake” Another kid walks in late to class and the teacher asks him “Why are you late” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake”, The last kid walks in and the teacher says “Why are you late?..and why are you wet?” and the kid says back REMEMBER MY NAME IS PEBBLES!!
#13
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
#14
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor “How’s the baby?” “You had twins” the doctor replied. “Your brother named them,” the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?” “He called the girl Denise” “What about the boy,” the woman asked the doctor said “Denephew”.
#15
“So I asked an ouija board for the name of my future wife
What kind of name is hahaha?”.
#16
I know this isn’t about glue but here’s one: Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness.
Her name?
Cardi O.
#17
What do you call a guy who is building a wall in the middle of a river?
Adam.
#18
What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue.
#19
A girl lying on a beach?
Sandy.
#20
What do you call a woman with one leg on either side of a river?
Bridgette.
#21
What do you call a lady who always sets fire to her power bill and phone bill?
Bernadette (Burn a debt).
#22
What breaks when you say it’s name?
Silence!
#23
What do you call a man who likes gardening?
Herb.
#24
What do you call a lady in a Roman dress?
Sara-toga.
#25
What do you call a guy who has pencils for fingers?
Mark.
#26
What do you call a guy named James who smokes e-cigs and works at a prison?
Jim the Juul Man Jailor.
#27
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Phillipe Flop.
#28
What do you call a man who’s not religious?
Godfrey.
#29
What do you call a woman with a screwdriver in one hand, a knife in the other, a pair of scissors between the toes on her left foot, and a corkscrew between the toes on her right foot?
A Swiss Army wife.
#30
What do you call a man who has a car above his head?
Jack.
#31
What do you call a woman who keeps singing Christmas songs?
Carol.
#32
What do you call a man who keeps playing the bagpipes?
Scott.
#33
What was the name of the king’s extra knight?
Sir Plus.
#34
What do you call a man who’s always there when you need him?
Andy.
#35
What do you call a man who loves travelling long distances?
Miles.
#36
A man who watches movies from morning to night?
David.
#37
What is the perfect name for an ambulance?
Nina.
#38
What do you call a man who always wins?
Victor.
#39
What do you call a man with a legal document on his head?
Will.
#40
What do you call a man who fixes potholes for a living?
Phil.
#41
What do you call a woman who works with cats?
Kitty.
#42
What do you call a man who always wears 2 coats?
Max.
#43
What do you call a man who stamps letters at the post office for a living?
Frank.
#44
What do you call a man with a map on his head?
Miles.
#45
What do you call a woman with a pint of lager balanced in one hand, a pint of bitter in the other and a pint of Guinness on her head while holding a pool cue?
Beatrix Potter.
#46
What do you call a man who has seagulls land on the side of his head?
Cliff.
#47
What do you call a guy who keeps vomiting?
Chuck.
#48
My son Luke loves that I named my children after Star Wars characters. My daughter, Chewbacca, not so much.
#49
What do you call a woman between two goalposts?
Anette.
#50
What do you call a boy with his hair cut at shoulder length?
Bob.
#51
What do you call a man driving a truck?
Laurie.
#52
What do you call a man stuffed in a mailbox?
Bill.
#53
What do you call a girl with a laptop on her head?
Adele.
#54
What do you call a woman with a twig on her head?
Hazel.
#55
What do you call a man who sits at the door?
Matt.
#56
What do you call a Spanish guy who has been discharged from hospital?
Manuel.
#57
What do you call a man with a crane on his head?
Derek.
#58
What do you call a man with two pieces of meat on his head?
Mohammed.
#59
What do you call a man sitting in hot water?
Stew.
#60
What do you call a man who has a plank on his head?
Edward
What do you call a man who has 2 planks on his head?
Edward Wood
What do you call a man who has 3 planks on his head?
Edward Woodward
What do you call a man who has 4 planks on his head?
I don’t know but Edward Woodward would.
#61
What do you call a man in shark-infested waters?
Chum.
#62
What do you call a man who has cat scratches all over his face?
Claude.
#63
What do you call a woman who has a back like a turtle?
Shell.
#64
What do you call a guy who loves exercising?
Jim.
#65
What do you call 2 guys in a window?
Curt and Rod.
#66
“I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.”
#67
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal, and Sealia.
#68
A Fish is dead who do you call?
Aqua man.
#69
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
#70
What do you call a man with no shins?
Neil.
#71
What do you call a man on the barbershop floor?
Harry.
#72
What would you name a girl that’s a ding a ling?
Isabelle.
#73
“My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name… So I called her Bluff…”
#74
“If I ever have twin daughters, I’d name the first one Kate and the second one Duplikate.”
#75
“I just changed my name and cut my hair! I am no longer Harry.”
#76
What is the most common middle name?
Its Y.
If you don’t trust me, verify by asking 10 random people around you.
#77
My name is Clifford. If I had a nickel every time someone brought up that damned Big Red Dog…
#78
“My name is Connor and In school, I had a teacher who has a funny accent and pronounced my name as “Corner”, boy did it get annoying fast.”
#79
What do you call a woman sitting in a bath of Martini?
Olive.
#80
What do you call a woman with a bunch of holly on her head?
Carol.
#81
What do you call a man with a piece of meat on his head?
Hahmed.
#82
What do you call a man that sleeps outside on the lawn?
Dewey.
#83
What do you call a man with a large black and blue mark on his head?
Bruce.
#84
What do you call a man who is always sitting on the toilet?
Lou.
#85
What do you call a woman who sits on the toilet twice?
Lulu.
#86
What do you call a man who always wears a coat?
Mac.
#87
What do you call a man who is shaking in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
#88
What do you call a man who is in the dirt in your garden?
Pete.
#89
What do you call a guy with a radio?
Roger.
#90
What do you call a man who has a car license plate tattoo?
Reg.
#91
What do you call a lady who has a radiator for a body?
Anita.
#92
What do you call a woman who stands outside when high winds are blowing?
Gail.
#93
What do you call a woman who catches fish using her body?
Annette.
#94
What do you call a man who works in deceased estates?
Will.
#95
What do you call a man who is unable to stand up?
Neal.
#96
“What’s your name, son?” The principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” “Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”.
#97
“My friend David lost his ID. Now he is just Dav.”
#98
Once there was a kid named Cale. But his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a C so they asked him if he could be their snack.
#99
A boy who smears jam over his body in summer?
Anton.
#100
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lilly.
#101
What was the Vegan Metal Bands name?
Plantera.
#102
A couple just had their first son, the husband is half Irish and half Indian, the wife is half Chinese and half Italian both wish to have their son’s name after their heritage… After much argument, they decided on the name.
Ravi O’Lee.
#103
Amanda
She is A Man Duhhhhhhhh.
#104
How about this one?
“Your name is Ken? So is your girlfriend’s name …Barbie? Hur Hur Hur”.
#105
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Andrew.
Andrew who?
Andrew all her money out of the bank account.
#106
What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
Doug.
#107
What do you call a woman sitting on a loaf of bread?
Marge.
#108
What do you call a woman with a breeze on her head?
Gail.
#109
What do you call a man with a rabbit on his head?
Warren.
#110
What do you call a man with a stamp on his head?
Frank.
#111
What do you call a man with two coats on his head?
Max.
#112
What do you call a woman with a tortoise on her head?
Shelley.
#113
What do you call a man with a wig on his head?
Aaron.
#114
What do you call a man with a coat on his head?
Mac.
#115
What do you call a man who’s been buried for ten years?
Pete.
#116
What do you call a man with a toilet on his head?
John.
#117
What do you call a girl with a sunlamp on her head?
Tanya.
#118
What do you call a woman with a pint of lager balanced in one hand, a pint of bitter in the other, and a pint of Guinness on her head?
Beatrix.
#119
What do you call a woman who has one leg longer than the other one?
Eilene.
#120
What do you call a woman who has legs of equal length?
Nolene.
#121
What do you call an Asian woman who has one leg longer than the other one?
Irene.
#122
What do you call a man who is sitting in barely warm water?
Luke.
#123
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away, you’d run too if your name was dgergbbfdnbj.
#124
“I’m a new person. I’ve changed my name and became a vegetarian.
I’m still getting used to it, I wasn’t a Herb before.”
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