What’s one of the cleverest or funniest insult you’ve ever heard?
#1
If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off. >:)
#2
Winston Churchill’s insult to Lady Astor.
Lady Astor: If you were my Husband I would poison your tea.
Churchill: If I were your husband I’d drink it.
such a classic burn.
#3
I’d give you an ugly look but I see you already have one.
Cracks me up every time.
#4
“Were your parents cousins, or did they just drop you on the head one time too many?”
There’s a certain word I don’t use because it is hurtful and insensitive to people with intellectual disabilities, but it is hard to refrain myself from those who are both hateful and stupid.
#5
“I could eat alphabet soup and s**t better lyrics than that”
Johnny Mercer, after being asked his opinion about a particular song
#6
My kid said this to me once, ‘Go step in a puddle!’ I couldn’t get ahold of myself for hours…
#7
Who pissed In your cereal?
#8
bully: *say literally anything mean/rude*
me: no u
if u r ever in trouble, just bring out ol’ reliable.
#9
Not mine, I have to credit Lin-Manuel Miranda for this one:
Sittin’ there useless as two shits
#10
We seem to have trouble communicating. Should I clap to let you know when I’m finished?
#11
Overheard a 2 gentlemen arguing in Portugal:
Calado eras poeta.
Means: With your mouth shut, you’re a Poet.
#12
You’re so dense, light bends around you.
#13
Person 1: *makes depression joke*
Person 2: Well if you’re so sad then just die
Person 1: Hunny if I wanted to die I would just jump from the very top of your ego down to your IQ level. Back off.
#14
Sorry for the politics but ngl this is kinda funny:
*Word for word*
Clinton: It’s just awfully good that a person with the temperament of Donald Trump is not in charge of the law in our country
Trump: Yea, because you’d be in jail
#15
“I do desire we may be better strangers.” – Shakespeare
#16
“Your such a loser, that if you competed for the best loser you would get seccond”- Elmo from the tower le fence support discord server
#17
“You must have been conceived anally because there is no way being such an asshole comes naturally”
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