Moving is a necessary nightmare, and the internet is full of the same, soul-crushingly sensible advice: label your boxes, pack a “first-night” bag, lift with your knees. But what happens when you’re staring at a mountain of junk at 2 AM and “sensible” just isn’t an option anymore?
An online community asked a glorious question for the rest of us: What is your most unhinged moving advice? The responses were borderline chaotic genius, a symphony of questionable life hacks from people who have been to the brink and back. These are so crazy, they just might work.
More info: Threads
#1
Get rid of 90% of your s**t before moving.
Image source: theredheadsaid, Toa Heftiba
#2
Check your boxes for your cat before you seal them up.
Image source: valerieblakerlah, 乐融 高
#3
If you’re on an upper floor of an apartment, park the U-Haul below the window and zip line your boxes out using the strong threaded tape to make the loop you attach to the carabiner and line. Just wrap the tape securely around the box and at the top make the loop. Saved me hours of going up and down 3 flights of stairs 😁
Image source: elle.wilk, pvproductions
#4
I don’t know if it will be possible in your country but I went around different groceries stores and asked if they had empty banana boxes that I could have. Those things are super stable and and I couldn’t pack them too heavy because of their size and they were all free! And they stack nicely.
Image source: thegoforitgirl_vroom, میوه پرداز پویا
#5
Do it like youre on the clock. I mean like an actual m****c. Do it all at once, dont stop until you packed absolutely everything and for 2 entire days live like you dont live there and have zero belongings. Do not clean until it’s all out. When you unpack do the same. Get the bags and boxes empty and out and out of the rooms/house ASAP. Do not look at s**t, do not get nostalgic, do not invite chatty friends, do not invite family to help. Do it all as fast as possible.
Image source: htgeller, freepik
#6
Pack a suitcase with a change of clothes, pajamas, shampoo, soap, toothbrush, loofah, and a shower curtain. When you inevitably get overwhelmed and exhausted , at least you’ll be able to quickly find what you need to shower and get in bed.
Image source: kattretina, Ryu Orn
#7
Overlap your move dates. I know people think I’m insane for paying a week or two for an empty apartment, but I’m late. For everything. Always. Having the breathing room to s***w up moving day has been a sanity saver.
Image source: aimingfor180, user18526052
#8
Always start with packing the drawers, cabinets, and closets. They take the longest and the progress is invisible. If you start with the things that are out in the open, the place looks packed up and you underestimate how much more you have left to do.
Image source: eriklowmanathome, freepik
#9
Introduce yourself to the neighbours before you have to break into your home. It’s not the best, having locked yourself out the 2nd day to convince the neighbours you live there and don’t know the number for a 24 hour locksmith.
Image source: jecks.stone, korrawinj
#10
Use packing tape to tape your dresser drawers shut so you don’t have to actually pack/unpack any clothes
Image source: amandapanda516, Mesut çiçen
#11
Not unhinged, just useful: if you’re moving cross country/long distance and using a moving company, put an AirTag in one of your boxes so you can track where your stuff is. Moving companies will often lie or give you the runaround about where your truck is and when it’s going to arrive.
Image source: mckaw, Thai Nguyen
#12
Have a last box. The remotes, a wine key, your favorite candle, house papers, all the must have til the last minute items go in that box. Put a BOX KNIFE, toilet paper, paper towels, garbage bags, and a dish towel in too. And a pk of lightbulbs. Pet items. All that stuff gets unpacked first. Right when you need it. Also, paper lunch sacks for all your glass items. I use two pkgs per move. So handy. Newspaper is messy.
Image source: tarragonwild, freepik
#13
Since it is inevitable that something will break during the move, I suggest breaking something you don’t care about on purpose as a ritual sacrifice to satisfy chaos destructors and protect your heirloom china.
Image source: emilyguybirken, fukume
#14
DO NOT USE UHAUL. if the truck breaks down in the middle of nowhere, you are f**ked and they don’t give a s**t. take it from me!
Image source: slime___mold, Getty Images
#15
As many other people have stated, pack a box with your coffee, coffee maker, your coffee mugs, spoons, etc.… As soon as you get to your new kitchen, clean up a space and unpack your coffee pot and set it all up. When you collapse at night after unpacking, you will be so happy that your coffee is ready to go in the morning.
#16
Become an Amazon Seller and post all your stuff for absurd prices. Send it all to the Amazon warehouse. Move. Change your mind about being an Amazon Seller. Have all of your “inventory” returned to you at your new address.
Image source: fitzroy, freepik
#17
I make a box called “junk” and the date. After 1 year if I don’t open it, I throw it away.
Image source: annabeedee, RDNE Stock project
#18
Keep your fitted sheet on your mattress. Your mattress satys cleand and when you’re done moving, wash the sheet
Image source: manduhyo, krakenimages.com
#19
Don’t do cardboard boxes. The large plastic tub bins at Costco are the same price and are much more eco friendly – plus SO much easier to carry.
Image source: mskimcr, freepik
#20
I number all my boxes and have a spreadsheet of what is in each box. That way if one is missing, I know what’s in it.
Also, always have a set of “load last” items which include sheets and pillows, a few days of clothes, cleaning supplies, power cords/extension cords, lightbulbs. That way you can set that stuff up as they are unloading the rest and if you are too tired end of day, you at least have a bed to sleep in.
If you can afford it, have movers pack all breakables so they are insured.
Image source: rfaintich, The Yuri Arcurs Collection
#21
Label boxes currently: Living Room Left Bookshelf Top. You always remember where stuff was when you need to find it at the new place.
Image source: orangebirdgoddesszilla, freepik
#22
Put like 5 books in every single box you pack. That way there are no insanely heavy book boxes but you still get all your books moved
Image source: satchel.ink, freepik
#23
If you are traveling a great distance, here is our hack: join Planet Fitness, but the $20 membership. We had memberships and it dawned on us, as we were about to drive the U-Haul from Colorado to North Carolina—that we could stop at any of those locations for 1) the massage chairs and tables 2)a shower and/or a place to stretch our legs, quite literally. It was AWESOME. We would pull up at a PF location, and flop onto the hydro massage tables and into the massage chairs.
Image source: diminutivebookgirl, freepik
#24
Pack a suitcase as if you were going away for a week to a poorly stocked hotel. Add in bed sheets and a flashlight and batteries then put the suitcase and pillows in the car. Then pack by priority, not category. Label boxes by room and priority. So the first box you open in the room is the stuff you use all the time (regardless of category.) Also tape all remotes to the item they control.
Image source: kingbagelcat, freepik
#25
I use a 20/20 rule if I’m debating on keeping an item. If I could get a new one within 20 minutes of my new house for less than $20, I don’t need to pack it up to move it
Image source: flaxmeg, seventyfour
#26
When you get to the last ~20% of your packing, move everything that’s left into one room and stage it all in one big pile so you have a clear concept of what’s left. Don’t leave a few things in each room scattered around the house.
Image source: premkrishnanart, Anna Tolipova
#27
When you disassemble the furniture, put all the screws, bolts, etc back into the holes they came from. This way you don’t have to figure out where the whole bag of hardware goes. It’s also helpful to take pics as you’re taking it apart to hand a guide to reassemble it.
Image source: itscreaturemike, rawpixel.com
#28
I saw someone else say this in a different thread ages ago: Sign up for rewards programs at places around your new house, set your birthday to your move in date, and you’ll be able to grab a free snack or coffee during the move.
Image source: ababewbullies, freepik
#29
Treat you home like a thrift store: you own none of this. Only pack what you would actually purchase from a thrift store.
Image source: jezebelsmaster, freepik
#30
Only move about 20% of your things. The stuff you ACTUALLY use. Donate or sell the rest. Not only will your new place be wonderfully clean and uncluttered, but unpacking is a breeze. We have been so consumed by “stuff” – moving and only taking what you truly TRULY want and need and use can be life changing. (From someone who did this 2.5 years ago!)
Image source: thepaulinemanor, Ketut Subiyanto
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