Therapy can be life-changing. It can help you make sense of the past, embrace your complex feelings, and give you a fresh new perspective centered on growth. However, just because you walk into a mental health professional’s office does not mean that they’ll ‘solve’ all of your issues in a week. Therapy is an involved process that requires a lot of heavy emotional work.
One internet user recently sparked a very important discussion on the r/AskWomen subreddit, after they asked everyone to share the ‘ugly truths’ they struggled to come to terms with in therapy. Many users found this vulnerability to be empowering. Read on for their most open and honest stories.
#1
That I have to put in work to heal the trauma caused by someone else.
Image source: Cold-Benefit-414, Polina Zimmerman
#2
That no one is coming to save you, gotta put your big girl pants on and save yourself.
Image source: doublekidsnoincome, C.T. PHAT
#3
Sometimes you will never get an answer to questions you have, no matter how insane it drives you, and you just have to move on.
Image source: Viiibrations, Keenan Constance
#4
Other people’s emotions are not my responsibility.
Image source: shrimpybimp, Tim Gouw
#5
I talk to myself in such a mean hateful way, that I would never dare talk to another living person. I tend to show grace to everyone except myself. I’m my own worst critic and it’s self defeating
Image source: lucy1011, Darius Bashar
#6
Even though there will be friends and family around, I am still an individual, and I need to start accepting that being alone is good. Being alone doesn’t need to feel lonely.
Image source: itscheychey, Josh Hild
#7
Sometimes moving on without that apology you want so bad is better than trying to get it. Some people just can’t give a sincere apology for the pain and trauma they caused.
Image source: SlipperyWhenWet67, Ketut Subiyanto
#8
You have worth even if you contribute nothing. You shouldn’t have to prove your value. And your self esteem should not be based solely on how others perceive you.
Image source: cygnets, Karolina Grabowska
#9
I will never get the approval of my parents
Image source: Competitive_Mark_287, Andrea Piacquadio
#10
That my disease isn’t curable. I am NOT going to improve, I have to quit waiting on better days to start enjoying my life because those days are never ever coming. This is my new permanent life, this is my new normal & even after several years of being sick I can’t really accept it.
Image source: MSRegiB
#11
That my mother will never be the person I need her or want her to be, and I have to let go of that dream of her which I created. I can keep her in my life or cut her out of it, but only by accepting her for who she is and letting go of the fiction.
Image source: powerslave22, MART PRODUCTION
#12
That I don’t do nice things for others because I’m a “nice” person but that I do it in a self-serving manner to keep myself “safe.” Growing up I worked tirelessly doing nice things for my alcoholic mother so she wouldn’t hurt me and now as an adult compulsively I do nice things for others so that I won’t be rejected by them.
Image source: Downtown_Detail2707, Liza Summer
#13
People in general don’t have has much empathy and compassion for others at the level that I do. That’s been the hardest thing for me to accept.
Image source: thnx4stalkingme, SHVETS production
#14
That I have PTSD because my life has been full of trauma.
Felt terrible when I first heard it. Surely the “trauma” label must be for people who had it worse than me?
Feels much more realistic and objective now that I’ve been treated by a therapist who specializes in PTSD. Yes, what I went through was trauma. And yes, it left its mark on me.
Image source: insertcaffeine, cottonbro studio
#15
That nobody MADE me angry. I chose anger as a response.
Image source: Rosa_linda83, Karolina Grabowska
#16
That my parents emotionally neglected me. More and more memories of how what I needed was so lacking keep coming up and it hurts to accept that they either didn’t care or didn’t have the energy for me
Image source: emotionaluranian, Andy Li
#17
No one owes you love, even if they’ve said they loved you before… people change, feelings change, it happens.
It’s a hard truth.
Image source: Tired-mama-of-one, RDNE Stock project
#18
That my parents we’re emotionally abusive, and that my emotional regulation and anger management issues stem from being raised in an emotionally reactive household.
Image source: ForbiddenCheese321, RDNE Stock project
#19
My birth mother doesn’t like me and never will. She only acts like it when she wants something.
Image source: BackQueasy5488, RDNE Stock project
#20
I date men just like my dad
Image source: anon, Katerina Holmes
#21
Medication will not make me better, it is just there to help me keep going.
Image source: DiddlyDoodilyDoh, Ron Lach
#22
When my mom died, I realized through therapy, that I wasn’t mourning the loss of my mother, but the realization that she had never been one, and her death made that definite. I’m honestly still taken aback by that one, years later.
Image source: kedeligkonny-dk
#23
That I was not a “low effort kid”. My parents raised me in such a way that i just, stopped having needs because it was easier than expecting them to meet them. It’s still hard for me to admit that I have needs sometimes, and to admit that I feel pain because I feel they weren’t met.
I’m still working on the part where I’m ugly and unlikeable and nobody will ever really love me. That one is tough.
Image source: sipsredpepper
#24
That I have developed codependency and it has pretty much wrecked how I view my relationships and how I act towards myself.
Oh and also, how trauma has affected the way I view people’s tones of voice and facial expression. This has caused me to be hyper aware of body language. It can be a good and bad thing depending on how you look at it. I can easily pick up when someone is uncomfortable, not saying everything they mean to, are keeping a secret, lying, etc. But it also makes me overthink and over analyze HAHA.
Image source: rosie-skies, Odonata Wellnesscenter
#25
The reason my mean friends from 13 still effect me today isn’t just because I struggled to get over it, but because everyone in my support circle (family, other friends, etc) didn’t believe me or made it feel like it was my fault for not telling them until after I left that friendship
Image source: hand_thantsd, Kelly
#26
Someone who is emotionally unavailable can often make someone who is emotionally available feel like their basic needs are too much.
Image source: ReannaK
#27
that if I want to heal I have to stop seeing myself as a victim. yeah some bad s**t happened but I can’t carry that and let it affect other people because ive victimized myself and am waiting for someone to come to my rescue
Image source: mcdonaldsfrenchfri
#28
It doesn’t matter why someone did something, what matters is they did and how I feel about it.
I spent too much time agonizing over whether certain people realized they were being abusive at the time or if they were too stupid/imbalanced to realize it. Doesn’t matter. Nothing excuses being abusive to another person, especially if that person is a child in your care. Having your own mental health issues isn’t an excuse to abuse others.
Also my therapist wanted me to reparent my inner child and I have zero concept of how a good parent would treat a child and the idea of treating my inner child kindly freaks me the f**k out. I never got to be a kid and the idea of letting myself act childish is very upsetting.
Image source: BaylisAscaris, Piotr Arnoldes
#29
That my parents (mostly my mother) were/are emotionally immature and abusive. It was so normalised my whole childhood, I knew they weren’t great parents but I didn’t realise the amount of trauma I experienced until it surfaced in therapy.
Image source: TheGardenNymph, RDNE Stock project
#30
That my father in fact did not love me and actually committed real crimes against me. I’m not sure which was harder to accept.
Image source: redonreddit24, Meruyert Gonullu
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