Scream Queens Season 1 Episode 7 Review: “Beware of Young Girls”

Scream Queens

After a week away, Scream Queens returns for what I thought was a very disappointing episode. Some relationships between characters make me think the show has more potential than it really does. Scream Queens is inconsistent and, this week in particular, very boring.

“Beware of Young Girls” was frightfully anti-feminist as it pit women against women the entire episode. Also, when are we going to get over making fun of eating disorders? I thought there was hope a few episodes back, but all of that is lost now. I was exhausted watching Scream Queens this week because of how horrible all of the women were to each other. Sure, it’s supposed to be a show making fun of horror, but there’s nothing funny about writing women who hate their only friends. Yawn, let’s get a new heart for this show.

The very first scene of the show is Chanel bashing Chanel #2 at her funeral. The Chanels consult a Ouija board throughout the episode, where even  from the afterlife Chanel #2 attacks the living Chanels. The concept of the Kappa Chanels was charming at first, and they were reminiscent of Heathers, and even more so, Mean Girls, but they lack the substance the final two Heathers had, and even Regina George has some kind of redemption. I would like these girls to have character traits that to not revolve around hating each other. Dead Chanel #2 accuses Chanel of killing everyone, and so Hester, or Chanel #6 gathers the sisters in the bathroom to find out how they’ll kill her. They don’t even make an attempt in this episode. Nothing to write home about, really.

Gigi gets a phone call from someone, and she openly says that she and the anonymous person are not kidnappers, but murderers. Okay, so there are definitely two murderers, but who have they kidnapped? Do we care? Maybe not!

Gigi later feeds the name of Feather McCarthy to Grace, and sure enough, Grace and Pete pull her in for a quick Q&A. Oh yay, a completely new character who was involved in an affair with Dean Munch’s husband. Munch wasn’t happy with the situation and stalked Feather around campus wearing the exact same outfit. The professor and Feather both left campus, and the professor, dies later that day. Poor Feather discovers his dismembered body all around their house. Honestly, I would have called the police as soon as I saw the foot hanging in the stairwell, but I’m not in a horror show. To each her own.

Grace and Pete, (and the detective) determine that Munch is the killer, and they actually arrest her for his murder. Grace makes a hilarious comment to Pete about how she’s glad ‘We’re all safe, and this is all over,” and at that moment I wished it was over because this episode was so predictable and boring.

Dean Munch convinces Grace and Pete to meet her at the mental hospital, where she convinces them to look into the crime scene. They do, and what do you know they find evidence to accidentally frame Feather for the murder. Grace and Pete just believe the Dean when she says she’s allergic to deli meats and it’s honestly the dumbest part of the whole episode. No, wait, the dumbest part is when Grace decides to question the detective for arresting Feather. Grace, you were the reason he arrested Feather at all! Your meddling caused this mess! You cannot be upset with results you caused.

Dean Munch has a strange voice over at the end of the episode. She reveals to the audience that she killed her husband and framed Feather. She ends the episode with “Hell hath no fury like a women scorned.” Hey, were you looking for the worst cliché or the episode? The ended on it.

I was just hoping for so much more from Scream Queens. Where is the substance? Where are the twists? Not to mention the relationships are barely established, let alone continued from one episode to the next. There are five episodes left before the midseason break, and all I can think is how can they possibly drag this out further?

Other notes:

  • Chad made an appearance, and there was a goat. It made me think of another show that had a goat in it this week…and I cared a lot more about that goat named Tabitha than any character on Scream Queens.

[Photo credit: Patti Perret/FOX]

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