When I was a child, my mom always told me to learn to do math in my head, “because you won’t always have a calculator with you!” Well, years have passed, I’m really good at mental arithmetic – but damn, the calculator on my smartphone gives me virtually no opportunity to improve in this skill.
Be that as it may, from childhood, our parents instilled in us many different points of view, advice and instructions, which may have been truly useful in their time – but as adults, we understand that it is unlikely that literally following these recommendations would have benefited us. Or maybe it even does harm. So here is a selection of similar stories from the corresponding viral thread in the AskReddit community.
More info: Reddit
#1
The need to always be productive. There is no sitting down. If you sit down you can be folding laundry, organizing something. The house must be spotless the yard must be pristine (even if there’s only one person to do all of it) and time for yourself is frivolous. Anything short of this is laziness. The ultimate sin.
I’m literally sick from living that way. The guilt of self care is gut wrenching.
Image source: jax9151210, Annushka Ahuja
#2
That the number on the scale matters.
My whole life I agonized about my weight. My mom kept telling me I should weigh 120 but I could never get there. But now I’m almost 40 and I’ve finally figured it out. I can run a half marathon in under 2 hours and my mom still gets after me for my weight being over 130 at 5’4″. I’m healthy and strong. The scale doesn’t matter.
Image source: savethetriffids, Ketut Subiyanto
#3
Don’t talk back.
I was just explaining my logic and my way of problem solving.
Sorry that it sounded like disrespect but that’s your problem.
And my parents wonder why I don’t share information with them anymore.
Because heaven forbid your daughter share actual information with you.
Image source: astrangeone88, Timur Weber
#4
“You can’t always get what you want!”
True Dad, but you keep forgetting the second part where if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.
Image source: fuktardy, Ketut Subiyanto
#5
All unions are bad. (my dad).
Refused to work a union job. Ended up with nothing but a life of financial struggles.
He was not thrilled when I took a union job.
Twenty years in a union (private sector). Good wages, vacation and traditional pension. It was not an easy job for me but at least I have something to show for it.
Image source: hdnpn, Sora Shimazaki
#6
That I HAD to hug any family (or friends) who wanted to hug me. Everyone else’s feelings were more important than my own deep discomfort. I was constantly being forced to show physical “affection” because not doing so hurt my father’s, grandparents’, and little brother’s feelings.
It really got kicked into overdrive when my mother realized that other people were noticing me cringe away from even the slightest touch from her. Who knew that if you badly abuse your daughter, she’s going to flinch when you try to hug her??
Image source: anyesuki, Andrea Piacquadio
#7
I was bullied a lot growing up. I was a miserable little girl who heard “Boys you pick on you actually like you,” and “Girls who pick on you are just jealous of you.”
Image source: twothirtysevenam, Keira Burton
#8
“What will the neighbors think???” 🙄
Image source: Daffodils28, August de Richelieu
#9
The whole make you finish what’s on your plate thing. Yeah I’m not hungry why you making me eat?
Image source: Zero-Sugah-Added, cottonbro studio
#10
“Never do a job unless you’re gonna do it perfectly.” Now as an adult, I’ve had to unlearn all this damaging perfectionism.
Image source: cabalavatar, Christina Morillo
#11
Typical religious fanatic nonsense.
-My role as a girl was to prepare myself to be the best wife and mother.
-CSA is the victims fault.
-What I wanted didn’t matter, know your place.
-There’s no point in educating girls and women.
-If someone is a religious leader, they can do no wrong.
Image source: ThrowRA_hardtruths, Pavel Danilyuk
#12
That it’s normal to have something negative to say about everyone you know as soon as you leave any sort of gathering.
Image source: Prudent_Tourist8161, Helena Lopes
#13
“People making minimum wage are stupid and beneath us.” “People on government handouts are a drain on taxpayers who work for their money.” “Universal healthcare is communist and unamerican.”
-My father who has never had a job interview or put together a resume in his life. He joined the army at 18 and is still in it over 30 years later as an officer. Whose entire salary is paid by taxes. AND has his healthcare and education paid for by the government.
It baffles me how he doesn’t see his own hypocrisy. How he can think it’s okay for these benefits to be given ONLY if you risk life and limb (and be overseas most of your child’s life).
Image source: Symnestra, Monstera Production
#14
That I was completely indebted to them simply because they fed me and put a roof over my head. As if that isn’t the absolute bare minimum requirement of being a parent…
Image source: notacactusexpert
#15
That I’ll quickly succumb to illness if I go outside with wet hair.
Image source: Ok_Comment_2100, Nathan Cowley
#16
“Everyone is more important than you.”
When I was a junior in high school she once quite seriously asked my best friend why he would be friends with me because she couldn’t understand why anyone would be.
Image source: DadsRGR8, Karolina Grabowska
#17
It is always my fault when something bad happens. Hence, I am still trying to quit my habit of saying sorry every time something bad happens or feeling guilty about things that went wrong.
Image source: Full-Choice-2204
#18
Always think the worst it’s usually not that bad . I think they thought it was a good message but it actually made me very scared all the time if I can’t get a hold of someone I think they are dead or hurt. Or if someone is having bad day I always think it’s something I did wrong. I am trying to change trying to look at things differently.
Image source: shellymaeshaw, Engin Akyurt
#19
I’ve recently realized how much of my negative self-talk is directly from my parents. Something good happens and I STILL get negativity.
Image source: Zestyclose-Ruin8337, Liza Summer
#20
That the important people in your life should read your mind and know what you want them to do without asking. Absolutely not true- you need to set boundaries, voice your concerns and desires, and communicate to get what you want. Not just expect people to do what you want and be mad when they don’t.
Image source: ThrowRA43334, Tirachard Kumtanom
#21
That I always have to explain/justify my mood if I’m in a bad or irritable or sad mood. No I don’t. Just let me be!
Image source: JammyJacketPotato, RDNE Stock project
#22
That when you injure yourself, it’s 100% your fault and that the immediate response is to scold you for being injured, and worry 0% about the injury for a second or two.
EDIT: I remember being at the fair one time and got lost for about 10 minutes. My mom just ran crying to the car because she used to tell us that if we ever got lost, to return to the car.
Pops was still looking for me when I got to the car. My mom’s first words were “your dad is gonna be *pissed* at you!” and yanked my f-ing ear. My dad eventually shows up and his words were “why the f**k did you get lost???”
Image source: Curious_Working5706, RDNE Stock project
#23
That I should always smile and act as though everything is good in my life to people. What happens in our family should never be shared with people outside the family. That I should never share my personal business with anyone. Never be vulnerable or let people know they’ve hurt you.
Thanks for making me super stunted at making friends growing up mom. Turns out that talking to people about your life and struggles and being vulnerable forges deep relationships and is a lot healthier.
In retrospect it makes sense now how mom never had friends and still has none. She was shocked to see how many friends came out for our wedding and how much they genuinely love us.
Image source: no-strings-attached
#24
“The only people that sleep during the day are firefighters and [escorts] – and you aren’t either of those” I still can’t sleep/nap during the day. Lol Added note: The point my parents were trying to make – was sleeping during the day was lazy behavior. I didn’t have a night job (They used those two as an example) I was 10. Still stupid – yes, of course.
Image source: Hellokitten525, EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA
#25
Don’t ever ask for help.
As an adult I watched the end of “My Cousin Vinny” and realized how that had been holding me back.
Image source: Chillafrix, Samantha Garrote
#26
“Show up at least 30 minutes early to everything, it’s better to be early than late and they’ll appreciate your initiative to show up early”.
Turns out showing up before people are even ready is quite annoying to people when you surprise them by showing up early.
Image source: skilliard7
#27
Not to cry because everyone will think you are weak
Image source: UrdreamWifey, Alena Darmel
#28
The vast gulf between “adults” and “children.” I’m in my early 50s and I still think of other people as “adults.”
Image source: bullet_proof_smile, MART PRODUCTION
#29
I can’t wear white after Labor Day.
I can’t ever weigh more than 120 pounds.
I can’t go swimming after a meal.
I can’t do this or that because yadda yadda blah blah blah.
Image source: GTFOakaFOD, Drew Dau
#30
My mom put a lot of stock into people who had a lot of money, drove fancy cars, took fancy vacations. As an adult who is struggling to get by – I realize how ridiculous she sounds/acts. Your friend from high school just
Bought a $3 million house. That’s great for them. I believe they had a large trust fund. I have to work for everything
Image source: UMDAlum2000, Any Lane
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