Why Disney’s Predator Reboot is Doomed to Fail

One thing we can say about the next Predator movie is that it has Dan Trachtenberg directing, and one good thing to say about him is that he’s directed The Boys. Apart from that, the well is running a little dry on expectations right now, and part of it has to do with the fact that the Predator movies have been absolutely manhandled as everything following the second movie has been pretty much ‘meh’ as far as storyline goes. Predators with Adrian Brody had a little more ‘oomph’ to it since the humans were on an unknown planet and going up against three predators and their ‘dogs’ as part of a regular hunt, but Predator and Predator 2 have a definite edge over everything else. But Disney taking on a Predator movie is almost a sure sign that the highest rating it’s going to receive is a PG-13, which means a serious damper on the blood, guts, gore, and even the language. Plus, as far as we’ve been told this is going to be a prequel to the original movie and it will feature a female protagonist. There’s nothing wrong with that, but this had better be one crafty and strong woman since the first movie saw the predator going up against Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Putting it mildly, suspension of disbelief only goes far in some movies, and if one of these things, which is easily seven to eight feet tall on average, can take on a guy like Arnold and toy with him, then the woman in question had better be hella smart or a full-on Amazonia exile since this is one case where size does matter and only intelligence and cunning is going to work. The funny thing about yautja (the Predator’s race) is that females are apparently bigger and stronger than males, so all this time the Predator movies have been dealing with the smaller of this species. So far we don’t know a lot, but the title of the movie is reportedly going to be Skull, and if it’s set before the first one, it could be way far back, or it could be just a few decades before.

Trachtenberg has been keeping his set details on the down-low apparently, and it’s been said that the movie is actually three-quarters of the way finished, which means that he’s been working on it for a while without anyone being the wiser. That’s impressive to be certain, but it’s also fair to say that the praise that’s coming for the director’s decisions on the movie could be a serious smokescreen as Disney hopes and prays that people will either like the movie or that fans will forgive them for flopping yet another chance at creating a great Predator story. Okay, scratch that, they probably won’t care, but fans will still let them have it if this movie doesn’t perform the way they want it to. The fans have been wanting a great Predator movie for years, and denying them with a flop would be a seriously bad idea right now since it wouldn’t exactly lose Disney any fans, but it would lose a lot of faith in their ability to take on the properties that they acquired from Fox, which a nerve-wracking development anyway since a lot of people inherently knew that Disney would flub certain properties such as Predator and Alien if they even tried.

A lot of columnists and journalists are probably going to do their best to think positively and make sure not to allow anyone to think they’re rocking the boat signaling for trouble, but personally, I’d rather be real about this. I could be wrong, this could be one of the better Predator movies of all time, but as many have said before, “I’ll be not holding my breath”.  There are a lot of good reasons to think that Disney is going to step in and muck something up if they feel the need, and having an R-rated movie on their list is definitely going to be something that a lot of people feel will be what they’re bound to look at. It might be paranoia speaking, but it might not. Right now it’s too early to tell, but since the movie will likely be headed to theaters next year, it’s fair to say that we’ll find out soon enough.

Some people might want to point out that there is hope since Disney took on Star Wars and, well, never mind. It’s going to take a lot of convincing with some people when it comes to whether Skull will be a worthy addition or not. To some, it’s already a mistake in the making, but to everyone else, it’s bound to be thought wise to wait until the opening credits roll to really get riled up.

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