The Amazing Race – “Run Like Scaled Dogs” Argentina

Welcome back Race Fans! Tonight we start where we left off, in Puerto Varas, Chile. Last week the Grandmother/Grandmother team of Jody & Shannon were eliminated, and the Cowboys, Jet & Cord won the leg, and started in first place tonight. Once again, they begin exactly 12 hours after they finished the last leg, so our Racers have been going for 3 days straight! I imagine exhaustion and stress will be taking it’s toll. So let’s see how they do:

We start out with some beautiful scenic shots of Puerto Varas’ snow capped mountains, grassy parks, and antique statues and monuments. It really makes you want to visit this part of the world, and reminds you of the tragic Earthquake that rocked the country this past week. The teams start off taking one of two buses on a six hour trek through the Andes Mountains and cross the border into Argentina. Then they must drive themselves to an old saloon, where Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid once hid as outlaws. There they must win a round of poker against the Travelocity Roaming Gnome to get the next clue.

If anyone is still underestimating the Cowboys, then they need to have their own intelligence checked, because these guys are smart! They realize that they have time to kill before the first bus arrives, so they go into a local bar or restaurant and start talking to the locals about where they have to go and get valuable information. In the meantime, the Lesbian Princess (dubbed as such for their obvious sense of entitlement), Carol & Brandy, bicker about how to get to the buses, which, if we were to believe the commercials this past week, is obvious foreshadowing of more bickering to come.

One by one, the teams begin their journey, except Team Teen USA, the Dating Models, Catie & Brent as it seems they have woken up with a bit of food poisoning and are feeling so bad they have to go to the hospital to get checked out. Caite seems to be the worse of the two, but they’re both looking pretty bad. After being treated in the hospital with fluids they are finally released to begin the race more than three hours after their assigned starting time. It seems they have a lot of catching up to do, but when they get back to the hotel they see that the Cops, Louie & Michael, still haven’t left yet either. So they hope they still have a chance.

When the Lesbian Princesses catch up to the Cowboys (who have talked with locals AND made their way to the bus station in the same time the Princesses just made it to the station) they decide it would be a good idea to buddy up to the Cowboys since they did so well in the last leg. However, Instead of trying to make, you know, friends with the Cowboys, all they did was quiz them on what they did to do so well and the Cowboys were not buying it, noting that they did not get a ‘warm, fuzzy feeling’from them, and even a ‘hey, how ya doin’from them would have been nice! Did I mention how smart these Cowboys are?!

Everyone gets on the buses and we get some more beautiful scenic shots of the Andes Mountains in Chile and Argentina. I really wouldn’t turn down a trip there someday if ever given the opportunity! By Hollywood magic, also known as editing, 6 hours turns into 30 seconds and the bus ride is over, they find the cars, and they’re off! Once again, the Cowboys are in front and once again, they make another brilliant move! They figure everyone is following them, so they pull over while pretending to read the map. Everyone thinks they are lost so they keep going. The Cowboys figure, if they know their way great, if they’re following us, we’re not going to lead them there! They lose no time and arrive at the Saloon still in first place. See! Another smart move!

The group from the second bus isn’t doing as well. The Cops and the Lawyer/Mom’s, Monique & Shawne, are getting lost. The Gay/Straight brothers, Daniel & Jordan, stupidly have the straight brother drive, again, even though he STILL doesn’t know how to drive a stick shift!

The teams begin arriving at the Saloon where they sit at a table with a dealer that looks like they were cast from the movie Deliverance, and must win a round of 5 card stud against the Travelocity Roaming Gnome. Really? Who comes up with this stuff? As far as dumb challenges go, this ranks up there in my opinion. Most everyone does pretty well, except, interestingly enough, the Cowboys.However, they didn’t do that bad and didn’t lose any time they couldn’t regain in the next task.

In the Road Block, teams must rope a bale of hay with a fake steer’s head attached. Once they rope it, they drag the hay bale to them to get the next clue. It always seems each season that there are at least a couple of tasks tailor made for certain teams. If you’re guessing the Cowboys did as well on this as they did milking the cow last week, you’d be right. Although, Cord (the one in the white hat in case you can’t keep them straight either) confessed that he’d never hear the end of it at home because he didn’t get it on the first try (it took two tries). However, when other teams complained that this was too easy for them, the Cowboys made a good point that they didn’t complain when other teams knew Spanish when they didn’t.

The first teams to arrive at the Road Block were the Married Team, Joe & Heidi, followed by the Lesbian Princesses and the Cowboys. Finishing first: The Cowboys. The Princesses were having trouble getting tangled up in the rope, but finish second and the Marrieds finish third.

Back at the Saloon, Team JJ (Jeff & Jordan) arrive, ‘win’their gnome, and quickly get to the Road Block. The Father/Daughter team, Steve & Allie, do the same, while the Dating/Models bicker over directions.

In this week’s Detour, teams must choose between Horse Sense and Horse Power. In Horse Sense, teams must follow map-like directions given to them by a gun-slinger, find the buried money, and then take the bag of money (which should have matching directions printed on it) to a bandit at a nearby train station. In Horse Power, teams go to a Polo Field, and hit a polo ball while on a wooden horse, no more than nine times, to the goal. The Cowboys pick the Polo task, thinking there were real horses. They were sadly disappointed. However, they worked very well together dragging the wooden horse from shot to shot and seemd to finish before any other team even got there! They received a trophy for “winning” the polo match with a clue to make their way to the ‘Estancia Fortin Chacabuco’- the pit stop for this leg — and we’re only half-way through the show!

Team JJ finished the Road Block and headed out to the Detour while the Princesses and the Marrieds were getting lost trying to find the Detour clue. The Princesses finally make it there in spite of their bickering and chose Horse Sense because Carol, not knowing it’s a wooden horse, doesn’t think she’ll be able to get the horse to do what she wants. They’re having no luck finding their money bag and the frustration and bickering is at an all-time irritating high! As they’re trying to find their money bag, they find a shovel instead and assume they need to start digging where the shovel is, but they are wrong again and resume the incessant arguing. They finally decide to quit this task and go to the Polo Match.

Jeff, of Team JJ, also decides he doesn’t want to ride a horse and chooses Horse Sense. While reading the directions for this task, they assume the ‘gunslinger’is also the ‘bandit’and this messes them all up because once they find the bag of money, they take it back to the gunslinger instead of trying to find the train station where the bandit is. I may be accused of bias on the side of Team JJ, and I’ll admit I love them to pieces, however, they are not the first team to ever read a clue wrong, and we all know they won’t be the last either, so sorry JJ haters, you can’t blame this one on their unique ‘stupidity’. They do finally figure out their mistake and Jeff delivers the best line of the night to stunned Jordan when he says ‘We definitely shouldn’t reproduce!’LOL! Even the haters gotta love that one!

The Married Team also decides for the Horse Sense because he has a compass on his watch and thinks that will help. What won’t help is not listening to his wife when she tells him they need to count their steps! They get a bag of money and take it to the bandit — but the directions don’t match so they must go back to find the right bag. Instead, they choose to switch tasks.

We finally see the Gay/Straight Brothers just making it to the saloon, and the Cops and Lawyer/Moms working on their steer roping. The Brothers easily win their poker hand, incredibly rope the steer quickly and leave the Lawyer Moms behind. Eventually the Cops do the same thing, leaving the Lawyer/Moms to fall two more places behind. They are losing a lot of ground.

Meanwhile, The Dating Models that started this leg from the hospital, are still trying to find the saloon. They still don’t look like the feel too well and my sympathy for them begins to swell. They were never even close to my favorite team, but I hate to see anyone eliminated for illness. However, they do finally make it through the saloon, and Brent completes the steer roping on his second throw, and pass our poor Lawyer/Moms. Shawne is trying her best to rope that steer and as many of us do when frustrated, they pray for divine intervention — and they receive their ‘miracle’as Shawne ropes that steer on her very next throw! I’ll leave it up to you to decide if it was a “miracle” of the divine or editorial variety.

The Lesbian Princesses, make it to the Polo Field, but the Father/Daughter team are already there and finish before them. The princesses finally finish, and as they are leaving, we see a shot of the Marrieds at the Polo field with Joe was falling forward on his wooden horse – not once, but twice!

At this point, Phil is patiently waiting for the teams to begin rolling in, and of course the Cowboys do not disappoint! They are Team #1 and win a 10-day trip to Patagonia! So now they’ve won a boat they’ll never use and a trip to a place they’ve already seen.

The Cops have now made it to the Horse Sense Road Block and are unable to find the money bags. Michael says something to the effect of: “Lets just do a simple grid search. What, you’re a cop and have never done a grid search?” To which Louise responds: ‘I just execute search warrants’. Our tax dollars at work America! The Brothers also make it to Horse Sense, but both of these teams give up and go to the Polo Field. Neither Brother can hit the ball very far and continue to miss the goal in their allowed nine shots. The Lawyer/Moms get there and have the same bad luck, and Brent & Caite have come up from behind and joined them at the Polo Field!

Next to the mat: Steve & Allie (Father/Daughter) are Team #2 and Carol & Brandy (the Princesses), despite their bickering, are Team #3. The Married Team, Joe & Heidi came in as Team #4.Team JJ take 5th place, where Jordan notes that Phil scares her because she can never read his face to know how they finished! Umm, Jordo — it is kinda his job sweetie, LOL.

The Brothers finally finished the Detour and arrived at the mat as Team #6. Caite & Brent finish the Detour just as the Lawyer/Moms miss the goal on their ninth shot and have to go back and try again. The Moms feel they’ll never finish this Detour so they switch to Horse Sense. The Cops finish soon thereafter.

Caite & Brent arrive at the mat as Team #7 and they are just relieved they weren’t eliminated! If I’m honest with myself, I kinda am too. They deserve a good night’s sleep! The Cops then finish as Team #8 where Louis says ‘I want to say I love you’to which Phil responds ‘I don’t want to hear that’. Ha!

Back to the Lawyer/Moms, we see that as they see all the other teams pass them, and the sun setting in the sky, they never gave up, they kept going, finally finished the Detour, and made it to the finish line. Although they were the last team to arrive and were eliminated from the race, they showed they had a lot of heart and respect for themselves, each other, and their families. Best of luck to Monique & Shawne.

So what did you think of tonight’s Race? Still loving, or hating, Jeff & Jordan? Did Carol & Brandy drive you insane with their bickering and the way they’re sucking up to the winning players? What about how Caite & Brent started at the hospital and finished the leg able to run another day? Are those Cowboys running a great race, or what? Head down to the comments and let’s discuss The Amazing Race!