The Real Housewives of Miami 1.05 “Beach Slap” Review

The Real Housewives of Miami 1.05 “Beach Slap” Review

Whoa, what the hell just happened? Has the Real Housewives of Miami become miraculously relevant?

Bear with me here, folks, I haven’t completely lost my rocker. After last week’s drowse-inducing episode, the Miami Housewives returned to their tried and true formula of saving all the drama till the last 15 minutes of the episode last night. While this week’s spat wasn’t necessarily fodder for the watercooler, it still got a reaction out of me due to Cristy finally being put on the spot about ‘crashing’ Lea’s charity gala.

Lea wasn’t the one who came at Cristy about the little firecracker’s faux pas. Instead, it was Adriana who inadvertently brought up the touchy subject, who was immediately pounced on by Cristy and Larsa for being such a dumbass for doing so. Lea looked as if she didn’t want to talk about the situation as well, but she couldn’t ignore the rumors and gossip that involved Cristy badmouthing her all over town. It also didn’t help when Cristy blatantly lied that she only brought her plus one and no one else.

Here’s the thing: while Adriana’s outburst was ill-advised at best, the confrontation would have eventually happened regardless so it was best for the two ladies to get their feelings out on the table, subtracting all the hearsay from the equation in the process. It has become apparent that Cristy is not on top of her game when she is put on the spot in front of people, which was initially evidenced during her first appearance on Watch What Happens Live! as Lea Black called in and knocked the ex-basketball wife off of her pedestal. So since we have seen Cristy’s reaction when her hand is caught in the cookie jar twice, wonder how she will hold up on the reunion?

On the flip side of the night, Marysol and Phillipe tied the knot after only getting engaged last week. To be fair however, the difference between the proposal and the wedding could’ve been longer than what was shown. It was just pretty fast for some viewers is all. The newlyweds didn’t wait too long though to have their first argument, which was over a wine refrigerator belonging to Phillipe, which Marysol thought was an eyesore in the place he stored it. Welcome to marriage life again, Marysol.

Other than Larsa’s perplexing need to be competitive with a cooking party, Alexia beign involved in a car accident, and Lea’s embarrassing motivational speaker moment with a group of foster care girls, the only true shocker was the fact that next week’s episode is the season finale! I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing for the show, but at least it’s going out with an extended episode and promises of Elsa Patton letting Larsa know that she’s not the best thing since Botox injections. Now, that is what I’m dying to see.

So while the Miami Housewives are decidedly nowhere near the excellence of their Beverly Hills counterparts, they are not as drab as the Real Housewives of D.C. However, I would take seeing Cat, Stacie, and Lynn any day over another Larsa and Cristy pairing. Just saying.


Photo Credit: Adam Olszweski/Bravo

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