How I Met Your Mother 5.01 ‘Definitions’ Recap

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHERYou know how sometimes, after a long summer hiatus, returning to your old favorite shows can feel a bit forced and confusing. What have these people been doing for the past few months? What have I missed? Will the show pick up where it left off, or jump forward to some unknown point in time where I have to get to know all the characters all over again? Well, that’s not the case for How I Met Your Mother which returned last night and brought us up to speed on what’s been happening over the summer, and where our friends are now. Here’s a quick look at what happened last night.

So basically Barney and Robin made it clear last season that they’re not going to be a couple, and they called it off. But actually they didn’t, they simply spent the summer lying to their friends and continuing to have sex. Lily and gang catches them making out and the group begins to pressure the two into defining their relationship, something that neither of them have the least desire to do at this point.

Meanwhile, Ted is dealing with the angst associated with becoming a professor and his first day of class. After an awesome Inidiana Jones fedora and whip, Ted’s ready…or is he. He struggles with what kind of teacher he’s going to be, and how to approach the class, as their cool friend, or as a strict hard-liner. We’re also told from the beginning the his kids mother (the whole point of this show) was sitting right there in that very first class.

Back to The Talk, Marshall tries to get Ted to help him convince Barney that the talk is necessary but Ted says it isn’t because Robin is already his girlfriend. He reminds Barney of a talk they had on Tuxedo night, 4 years before. Barney said,

“How do you keep a girl from becoming your girlfriend? Simple, the rules for girls are the same as the rules for Gremlins.
1. Never get them wet. As in, don’t let them shower at your place.
2. Keep them away from sunlight. ie, don’t ever see them during the day
3. Never feed them after midnight. Meaning she doesn’t sleep over and you don’t have breakfast with her…EVER!”

You finally think that Barney and Robin will be forced to confront their relationship when Robin is asked out on a date by six-pack abs Brad. But even after breaking in and punching Brad, the two manage to sidestep the talk. So Lily takes drastic measures and locks them in their room until they agree to have The Talk.

At the same time Ted confronts his fears and decides to be the strict professor. The only problem is he’s in the wrong class, and spends the first 7 minutes talking to the Economics 325 students, which is the class that his future wife and mother of his children is in. Damn! And we were so close. In the end Ted is 25 minutes late to his real class, but it forces him to stop worrying about what kind of professor he’s going to be, and just teach architecture.

Upon Ted’s return to the apartment Barney and Robin are still being stubborn. But finally they realize, they’ve been lying all summer, and they’re good at it. So why not just lie to their friends now, and tell them that they are a couple and that they are boyfriend and girlfriend. So they do. As their giving their speaches about being a couple, you can tell each of them secretly means it, but they’re just not good at this relationship stuff. In the end, as they head off to have brunch (not breakfast), Ted says to Lily, “you do realize that they were lying don’t you?” to which Lily appropriately responds, “No Ted, they don’t realize that they weren’t lying.”

To end it all I’ve compiled a small list of important things we learned this episode.

  • Barney has a “whip guy” (not sure why this is surprising AT ALL).
  • Lily is not good at using her inside “WOOOOHOOOO”
  • Elaborate lies really turn Barney and Robin on
  • Barney isn’t happy, he just thinks he’s happy because he’s happy. (yeah, don’t ask. Lily said it)
  • Brad was born ‘a little different’ below the belt.
  • Unless Robin says Flugelhorn Barney hasn’t gone too far. Did we really need to know that? Yes, yes we did.


  1. brad September 23, 2009
    • Bryan Jones September 23, 2009
  2. brad September 23, 2009
    • Bryan Jones September 23, 2009

Add Comment

American Horror Story Billions Brooklyn Nine-Nine Cobra Kai Dexter Heels Raising Kanan Stranger Things The Mandalorian What If
Darth Vader vs. Carnage: Who Wins?
South Park
The 10 Best South Park Episodes of All-Time
Hawkeye: “Echoes” Recap
Action Adventure Comedy Documentary Drama Fantasy Horror Movie Lists Mystery Romance Sci-Fi Thriller
Several Reasons Bad Boys II Was A Critical Failure
“A Castle For Christmas”: What Has Cary Elwes Been Up To?
Could Vigo the Carpathian Return in Another Ghostbusters?
Comics Lists News Things You Didn't Know Whatever Happened To
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Adam Trent
Whatever Happened To Marc Summers?
“A Castle For Christmas”: What Has Cary Elwes Been Up To?
The 20 Most Hated Anime Characters of All-Time
attack on titan final season
Ranking The Top 10 Attack on Titan Characters
The 10 Best Black Anime Characters of All-Time
The 10 Best Red Hair Anime Characters of All-Time
How Will MultiVersus Compare to the Other Platform Fighters?
Lies of P Gives a New Spin On The Classic Tale of Pinocchio
Sherlock Holmes Chapter One Puts Players In The Detective’s Shoes
Phantom Galaxies Is Bringing NFT Games To a New Level