Remember when waterbeds were all the rage? You could go to sleep feeling like you were laying on a cushion of, well, water. It moved with you, it flowed with you, and it was actually kind of nice for awhile. But then the things began to stink if they weren’t taken care of, they needed to be emptied now and again, and they always ran the risk of being punctured. Waterbeds in the movies had their fair share of issues, but rarely was it anything less than being poked in the wrong way. The movies didn’t often go into the maintenance of the things because let’s face it, that would have been boring.
Nope, they went for the gusto when it came to waterbed scenes.
5. Nightmare on Elm Street
Don’t fall asleep, it sounds so simple until you try to keep from doing it. Eventually your body will work against you and decide that it knows better. Your eyes will close, you’ll enter REM state, and that’s usually where Freddy was waiting. But let’s get one thing straight, the human body is not a blood fountain. This is a horror movie and all, but the amount of blood pouring out of that hole in the mattress could have sustained every main actor in the film most likely.
4. Edward Scissorhands
This just seems like poor planning. One, you’re putting a guy with knives for fingers in a WATERBED. It would be bad enough if he was in a feather bed or a regular mattress, but one wrong move and the room becomes a pond. Second, you put him in your daughter’s room without letting her know that there’s some weird guy with knives for fingers in her bed. Yeah, that’s not an awkward conversation or anything.
3. The Lorax
Okay so I fibbed a little on this one, but I did think it was a bit whimsical. Technically it’s a bed, and it’s on the water, so I decided to just kind of go with it. A waterbed is of course one entire unit and it doesn’t tend to move outside the confines of its frame, but like I said I was trying to be a little funny with this one, so just go with it.
2. X-Men: Days of Future Past
Yes there is a waterbed in this scene. If you watch you can see it shifting as the woman gets up while protesting Wolverine’s words as he tries to explain to the thugs that it was him sleeping with the boss’s daughter, but it wasn’t him. It was him in the past, but he just got there. Makes sense doesn’t it? Too bad for Logan that most thugs working for a crime boss in any time period aren’t exactly known for their keen intellect or powers of reasoning.
1. Nightmare on Elm Street 4
Nightmare on Elm Street had to make the list twice because it features two of the most horrific ways to die. No one expects their waterbed to suddenly start moving and bouncing beneath them. However, if you see the girl of your dreams, you know, the one that just disappeared from your poster to appear INSIDE your waterbed, assume you’re dreaming and snap out of it. Especially if you’ve gotten word that a killer who’d love nothing more than to skin you alive is haunting your dreams.
Waterbed scenes in the movies are often lewd and a lot of fun or horrifying and make you want to stay away from the heavy, overdone monstrosities for good. Or maybe it’s because they’re too much trouble anyway.