The Top Ten Weirdest British TV Commercials

If you’ve ever wondered how the top ten weirdest British TV commercials would measure up to any other country’s then take a look below. I can’t say that American commercials are any better but given that we don’t see this kind of thing over across the pond it’s hard to say that these kind of commercials could be considered normal in this country, or even allowed in some cases. Some of them are pretty funny but given how oversensitive some folks seem to be these days they might not get any run time since they could be construed as “inappropriate” and likely to cause or promote violence of some sort.

Sigh. That’s the world we live in folks. Here are a few rundowns of the commercials though.

Jammy Dodger Monkey

It’s a cookie commercial. That’s what you can get from it first and foremost. After that it’s kind of hard to see why the image of a monkey is used for a cookie other than it was for some odd reason decided upon as a mascot. But being in love with a cookie, as it shows in this commercial, and flying doves and guitar and piano solos don’t make a lot of sense. But again, no stone-throwing since we have the same kind of commercials.

Maynard’s Wine Gums

First of all it sounds like they’re stuffing wine into gummy candy which would be a little insane since in the US it would make it a completely adult candy. Maybe that’s the gist of it. But a walking bagpipe that looks kind of like a bloated face hugger form Alien makes this commercial a wee bit creepy.

Nolan’s Nuts

This is an odd one since it takes American pop culture and puts it into a commercial that even when you get it makes little sense. Nolan’s nuts are nuts with guts. I get it, honestly, but it still makes little sense. They must have some inordinately tough squirrels over in England since when American squirrels get hit they tend to stay down.

Heineken Lobster

Imagining a lobster in a salty bathtub with your girlfriend in order to get up the guts to kill it and make it dinner seems kind of odd. Needing a liquid refreshment to get your head right about it seems odder still. I don’t know what writers in the UK are on but maybe they need to start letting us in on the secret since even if their commercials are a little out there they at least manage to entertain for their short duration.

Kellog’s Fruit Winders

Remember Fruit Rollups, or the Fruit by the Foot? It’s pretty much the same thing but with a commercial that shows humanoid fruits torturing other, less humanoid fruits by stretching them to incredible lengths while cackling like imps and acting like a bunch of deviants.

Cadbury’s Eyebrow

Cadbury’s chocolate is great, but what in the world is this commercial and what does it have to do with chocolate? Did the two kids eat enough chocolate to have a seizure or something? That’s seriously what it looks like.

Oh England, you make some interesting commercials, that’s for sure.

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