Pamela Anderson Feels Like the Popular Girl You Couldn’t Get Back Then But Now You Got Her at the Reunion

There’s been a ton of speculation into the supposed relationship between Pamela Anderson and Julian Assange this week.   Everything was all but confirmed when Anderson posted on her blog some pretty cryptic stuff about the two.   So far nothing romantic has been revealed but I feel it’s my duty to get this all out on the table.   First let’s get the cryptic blog out of the way.

Julian is a human being who is extremely empathetic and cares deeply about the world. And – because of his work . He has made some powerful enemies in a few countries- America especially
by exposing them. Julian is trying to Free the world by educating it. It is a romantic struggle– I love him for this He is the strongest person I know- but, living as he is, is very unhealthy, demeaning and inhumane.

She’ll clarify her thoughts in her upcoming book, The Sensual Revolution, which Anderson says she’s “writing full-time.” As for dating Assange? “Let’s see what happens when he’s free,” she said.

OK so let’s dig into this.  There are a few Pamela Andersons in the world.  There’s Home Improvement/Playboy Pamela Anderson.  There’s Baywatch Pamela Anderson.   Then there’s the rest of Pamela Anderson which is mainly animal activist and now Wikileaks fangirl.   The first two Pamela Andersons are the ones who were untouchable.  Only the elite could date her or be around her.  The first two Pamela Andersons are the ones that Borat went after in his movie.  That was the Pamela Anderson you’d give your right hand for one night with.  That was Tommy Lee Pamela Anderson.

The last two Pamela Andersons?  I mean I don’t mind PETA Pamela Anderson.  She did a bunch of cool videos and still looked amazing so I guess that one’s OK in my book.  But this whole Julian Assange Anderson is the one that’s weirding me out.  It’s like she’s joined a cult or something.   This is the Pamela Anderson that reminds me of that super cool popular girl you were never able to get back in high school but some 30 years later you track her down on Facebook, see her at the reunion and make out with (hopefully more) in the middle of the dance floor because you’ve both had one too many.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I nor anyone I know would ever have a shot with Pamela Anderson.  But if you were in her circle 20-30 years ago, I feel like it’s open season.  Am I totally off base here?

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