Please Don’t Remake or Musical Out the Following Christmas Movies

If I could come up with an adequate letter to all filmmakers and directors it would start something like this “Please don’t remake or perform musicals of the following Christmas films:”. Sound good? It’s obviously too late for one of them, which happens to be one of the greatest of all no matter what anyone thinks. A Christmas Story just had a live version come out and it was as a lot of people predicted, an abysmal failure. This movie was meant to become a musical since it was kooky and zany just as it was. There was no need to ramp it up and try to do something that it wasn’t intended for. Why in the world do people do this with films that really have no base for this? It’s because of new ideas and innovation obviously but there’s time when a second thought should be given before going full speed ahead.

You can’t fault anyone for their ideas alone, but when the end product is that bad you can certainly say “I told you so.” Here are a few other films that really, REALLY don’t need that kind of treatment.

5. Scrooged

Bill Murray as another version of Scrooge is just fine as it is. The comedy is there, dark and gritty in places but vibrant and alive and very slapstick in others. If this was taken in to a musical it would be absolutely ruined, and as a remake it would never survive since it’s likely that if Murray did return it would be as a cameo and the replacement wouldn’t be good enough.

4. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Most of these would suffer as remakes since the original actors are what made them and they couldn’t possibly be replaced with an expectation of success. Plus did you happen to watch the last Vacation movie? It bombed out harder than Vegas Vacation and that’s saying something. And really, a musical of this movie would be so over the top insane that it would hurt just to watch.

3. Home Alone

I can imagine a version of Kevin singing “This is it, don’t get scared now” as a rap song and it’s something I want to stop thinking about as of now. Macaulay, if you’re out there, do not accept any offers to remake this film. Don’t even entertain the thought of someone else being able to replace you for this since the last Home Alone film flopped so bad it had to go straight to video.

2. The Polar Express

There was just barely enough material to work off of to make this movie, trying to do a remake and adding more in would only go poorly. A musical would end too swiftly and like a remake would have to have so much added in that it would greatly affect the integrity of the production. In fact the only musical numbers I can see besides the hot chocolate scene would be along the lines of how the boy is a doubter and the three friends pulling together somehow.

1. The Santa Clause

A lot of folks didn’t think this would become a Christmas classic but obviously they were wrong. There have been three Santa Clause movies and they’ve all revolved around Santa finally coming to terms with who he is and the responsibility he took on. To do a remake of any of them better mean that Tim Allen and a lot of the people that remember these movies have passed away.


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