The cold open for this week involves Michael reminding us that Dunder Mifflin has been sold, and that big changes are on the way. Today, the first investment banker is coming in to sign off on the big sale, and because of this Michael is pretty nervous. His nervousness has led him to make some cosmetic changes around and outside the building. As the banker pulls in, he sees a bright red sports car parked next to him, under the sign: ‘Employee of the Month, Michael Scott, Regional Manager.’
‘The principles that I’m applying to the office are the same that have made Lady Gaga a star…or any number of drag queens.’
The banker comes in and is greeted by Computron, the office’s virtual helper, just one of many devices that Michael has installed to help the office function better. Michael, by the way, rides out of his office on a segway to greet the banker, and Computron is clearly just Dwight on the other side of a speaker phone. Across from the office, Andy announces that they are now the official paper supplier of the NFL. Michael introduces Pam as the office’s international salesperson, and she proceeds to greet the banker in various forms of hello. Pam has a segment where she explains to us that since everyone in New York has technically been let go, that makes Michael the highest ranking employee in Dunder Mifflin. Michael rides across the office and introduces ‘Stanley.’It looks like he’s been replaced for this visit by a tall, skinny, well-put-together version of himself. For the record, Pam is not on board with Fake Stanley. Although she gets it.
The banker explains that he’s just there to check out the warehouse, and talk to the HR guy. Michael tells him that he’s still going to get a tour, and later they have reservations at Cooper’s Seafood for some lobster. The banker is shown down in the warehouse, checking through everything as he explains to us that he’s basically a glorified fact checker. He’s there to check records and confirm inventory. Michael introduces ‘Toby’to the banker, and as the camera turns, we see Dwight sitting at Toby’s desk. Michael left a copy of America’s Best Mystery Stories from 1999 in Toby’s favorite stall, so that bought him some time.
As Dwight and the banker are talking, Toby comes back from the bathroom. Dwight tries to pass him off as the local lunatic, but it doesn’t work. The banker asks Toby if there are any outstanding liabilities that may leave the company open to potential lawsuits, and as Toby says that none come to mind, we get a glimpse of Michael driving a forklift down in the warehouse as he manages to knockdown about four shelves. We then see the clips of Michael hitting Meredith with his car, dropping a watermelon onto a trampoline, which then hit a car. We see Michael, Dwight and Andy doing kapour in the back lot of the office and Dwight starting the office fire drill that had everyone hysterical (which is also probably my favorite cold open from the show.) We also see the bat clip where Dwight through the bag over Meredith’s head.
The banker asks if the staff is generally happy, and Toby just bursts out in laughter. He says that happy’s a funny word that could keep philosophers busy for a while, but generally, everyone’s happy. Generally. We then get another clip reel of various outbursts by the office staff. Andy punches a hole in the wall, Kelly slaps Michael, Dwight hits Michael with a shoe, and Jim slaps Dwight. All good stuff.
Next, the banker asks about non-safety issues such as sexual harassment. Toby just says that he doesn’t know, in a really shy ‘I wish you weren’t talking to me’way. More clips of various sexual harassment and other non safety incidents from the show. Stanley’s hot picture of his daughter, Pam seeing Michael’s penis, Meredith wearing a skanky outfit on casual Friday, Michael kissing Phyllis and saying the only thing he’s worried about is getting a boner, Dwight reading aloud the submitted medical conditions, Michel retiring from ‘That’s What She Said’for a whole minute, and then a few clips of Michael saying that’s what she said to everything.
Toby says he has no idea how he’s going to get through this. He doesn’t want to lie, but he doesn’t want to tell the truth. Tough predicament, Toby.
Michael comes into the meeting between Toby and the banker. Waste of time and resources is up next. Michael says the company does not waste time and resources ever, so naturally we get clips to prove him wrong. Office Olympics, Jim moving Dwight’s desk, Jim wrapping Dwight’s stuff in Christmas paper, Jim putting the stapler in jello, Michael dressed in the fat suit, the sumo fight on the beach, Jim dressed as Dwight. The banker asks if anyone’s near retirement age, and we get some clips about Creed. Creed is the man, that’s all I have to say.
Michael says that this is a building where friends become lovers, and lovers become sexually active. We get clips of some of the office romances. Michael and Jan, Andy and Angela, Dwight and Angela, Kelly and Darryl, Kelly and Ryan, Michael and Jan’s dinner party, Kelly and Ryan again, Michael kissing Oscar, and a lot of awesome Jim and Pam moments that almost made me tear up a bit. Those kids have been through a lot.
The banker is done with his interview and is getting ready to leave. Everyone says bye, and we get Michael talking about what his people are capable of as we see some final clips that really don’t have much of a theme, but are still pretty awesome. At the end, Michael tells Computron that he’s going to pull his plug if he doesn’t shut up.
The exit of this episode leaves us with Michael and Dwight singing the full version of ‘Lazy Scranton.’
Awesome episode. Even thought it was just a clip show, it was done really well and it was good to reflect back on all the great moments as Dunder Mifflin heads into a new era.